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Observer10

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  1. Who knows? If its your opinion you're entitled to it. I've seen many women over the decades I would consider attractive - can't say glasses/no glasses have ever been a consideration, but if its your thing so be it. Siome preferences just "are."
  2. Don't tell her what you want to "make" her - weight gain, whether intentional or otherwise, should be the responsibility of the gainer if they are to embrace it. Nothing wrong with sharing calorie rich activities and praising the consequences, but the other party should be a willing participant.
  3. You obviously have things in common besides our focus here, but she needs to be told the truth about your preferences or her desire not to regain what she once lost will at some point create issues.
  4. Don't discourage her from going to the gym - that just reinforces your agenda. Instead give her a $300 gift card to Torrid. BBWs who dress with class tend to be attractive in their own eyes - especially when the fresh wardrobe draws praise even from non-FAs.
  5. I've held back from responding in this thread because it became apparent that multiple subjects are in play here – but I can tell you’re hurting and that pains me, so here goes: 1) the natural appreciation and preference, albeit a minority view, of some men for fuller sized women is not a “fetish,” but a hardwired fact. In my case it began as a younger child, although I was not my teens before I realized I was different. Unlike some who stayed in the closet I was openly preferential towards full figured girls throughout junior and high school, while being friendly towards and dating less fulsome ones as well. Over the years I've met other men who re similarly wired, as well as many more with larger spouses who simply aren't that focused on the topic. I ultimately married a then size 22 sweetheart with whom mutual interests were shared and we’re still together ddcdes later with grandkids. I’ve never tried to force her to eat or gain and have supported her in eating a healthy diet – but she knows my preference. 2) Another topic: we live in a society where fatness is, in the minds of some, falsely associated with universal ill health and out of control habits, as though the one is universally the inevitable consequence caused by the other, This of course is nonsense – along with the idea that being slender is a natural state for everyone. So is the idea that people can eat poorly and not exercise while expecting to remain healthy. A more nuanced approach to the topic of size is needed along with eliminating societal acceptability of stereotyping people of size. You don’t need to be a FA or FFA to embrace eliminating this bias which affects relationships, job opportunities, etc. 3) Control issues: Tricking and/or forcing others to be any size isn’t right any more than condemning a preference or size. I’m not against people having private fantasies but to project those dress onto others in real life is wrong, I share both your feelings and those of others about such behavior. I think most on Curvage would agree. Your ex-boyfriend needs counseling and help; I feel you need to get back into circulation without guilt. You came here asking to help better understand the pro-BBW culture – hopefully the above helps. That said, please don’t put all men who prefer (or who are not that concerned about) larger sized partners in the same boat that you found yourself in. We aren’t.
  6. Shopping at Torrid (see the bag)? Definitely aware of her size and hopefully proud of it.
  7. Actually the Exchange Student from France was completed as it came time for her to leave Earl and go home, hoping to meet again "someday" - tidy enough ending, although the final chapter seemed to me more a numbers game than a real climax. (https://bananasplitrevolt.deviantart.com/art/Exchange-Student-France-Final-164263394)
  8. It appears clarification and guidance from the moderators is needed here. In my current multi-part story, Maggie's Epiphany, I was able to edit installments for several days after posting. However, this ability now seems to have expired.
  9. Another hint - letting a relationship remain that for ten years without a more formal commitment makes you a sitting duck for someone moire proactive.
  10. One nice Curvage feature for authors - we can edit our own posts, so going back days later and correcting what spell check misses is an easy task. As for the story, great work thus far. I encourage you to keep it up. As the Goddess re-ascends I hope you make sure she keeps out the corruption of yore.
  11. Yes, this does like she seems to have come out of a quintessential weight gain story" There is a reason for this - many such tales, especially the realistic ones, are based on reality, This is what gave rise to my own screen name. over twenty year ago in the old AOL Hometown. My first stories began as size-positive tales based on actual conversations in the old "Fat and Gaining" chat room. And your experience is not unusual - an inner struggle denial vs self acceptance as to the reality resulting from life choices when it comes to weight issues is common. It is also, in my view, something that needs to be grown out of for the person to be enabled to focus on and care for others. You can't "fix" this for your girlfriend, but you can gently give her some facts, 1) Most heavier people struggle to keep gained weight off even if they lose it; doing so requires for most an ascetic life style that few can endure and be happy. In short. once you're bigger you are likely to stay that way - so "eat healthy, exercise enough to keep your muscles tone up and get on with the rest of your life" is sound advice. 2) Although "thin is in" is society's mantra the fact is that most American adult women are size 14-16, not 4-6 - and both they and their heavier sisters do find partners; some men just don't care because they love the total person, others actually prefer bigger. Either way, there is no point in a woman judging herself as unlovable or unattractive based on non-conformity to an arbitrary definition - especially when there is a likable guy publicly believing otherwise. . 3) If a man is in a relationship with a larger girl he is obviously (unless he indicates otherwise) not repulsed. But being double-minded and contradictory between stated intentions and actual practice in any area will over time have a predictable result. It will initially confuse him and eventually drive him away from you - so why do it?.
  12. Chapter Six – Making Sizeable Choices Maggie arose Thursday ready to prepare a savory breakfast. She looked forward with anticipation to matching a turkey sausage burrito from Whole Foods with and an over sized blueberry muffin. With butter, the combo easily exceeded 700 calories. Of course, she never looked such information up. Instead she elected, as had become as usual, to simply please her palette. She was thinking of Johnny and her prospective role as family breakfast chef. She entertained little thought about her three friends and their situations, but would likely have been surprised. Christine Overton earlier in the week had spoken with Sawyer Evans. She’d acknowledged that she too had noticed Maggie and Savannah’s gain. But to her it wasn’t anything serious. She dismissively minimized it by noting that she’d “added a few” herself. It was also Chris who was second only to Maggie in enjoying Savannah’s breakfast surprise – and it had also been her idea to have the ladies’ choice dinner. Had Sawyer not been so fixated on the change in Maggie she might have noticed the full reason for Chris’s statement - Chris and Savannah Maxwell were, to differing degrees, in denial. They had similarly become larger – Chris not as much as Savannah, but both definitely a few pounds bigger. Like Maggie they no longer felt as conscribed by the constant reminders from their former school cheerleading coach and neither had parents hung up on their eating habits. Chris was the more disingenuous of the pair in talking with Sawyer. She was actually fully aware of the amount of her own gain, but simply presented a public posture of complete denial. Chris and Savannah were best friends, making Chris privy to Savannah’s sweet tooth and penchant for snack foods and pastries. Since their cheerleading days were over both Savannah and Chris had relaxed their eating discipline. Chris knew that Savannah had herself even occasionally home-baked brownies and turnovers, even though they’d been made mainly for her somewhat husky boyfriend Jim Roberts. Jim loved the treats, which after Savannah’s cheerleading career began to be supplemented by two other calorie rich sources. The first was Savannah’s own more relaxed attitude towards both breakfast and the family’s evening family style meals. This actually was a positive for Mrs. Maxwell, a lifelong BBW who had at times once wondered if her then cheerleader daughter might be borderline anorexic. She said nothing as Savannah now joined her chubby younger sister, Annette, in having pastries rather than just cereal and eggs for breakfast or having seconds and larger portions in the evening. Mrs. Maxwell also made sure that store-bought temptations, such as bakery tarts, bear claws or boxes of mini-donuts were frequently available. She knew Annette couldn’t resist such treats, especially Little Debbie oatmeal crème cookies, but would always try sharing with her older sister. The indulgent mom soon learned that the mere availability of such treats virtually guaranteed that they would easily disappear. This over fifteen months has triggered a twenty-five-pound gain compared to Chris’s mere fourteen. Savannah wasn’t oblivious to the gain. Squeezing into pants especially became difficult and to button them she had to hold her breath, then endure a constricted feeling after exhaling. The result was a noticeable lower nelly filling out her jeans below the beltline while a bulging generous upper belly cascaded over the beltline. This led her to replace them with stretchy leggings as summer ended and school began, a remedy which worked but with nascent love handles. It was about this time, about half way into the gain noted, as she was forced to take notice of her softening belly and thighs when she found that her slacks just wouldn’t fit, that she had had a revealing conversation with her stouter younger sister. “Like it or not, I’m going to have to start dieting – Mom would probably freak out if she had to buy me a whole new wardrobe,” she lamented aloud in Annette’s hearing. “Ummm – don’t think so. You’re nowhere near as big as me,” her sister interrupted, “and when I last needed new clothes all I got was a story about Aunt Julie and her and the choices people need to make – no diet lecture –t hen we went to the mall. You’re home free” “How do you mean?” replied Savannah. “Both mom and Julie were big girls in high school,” replied Annette. “Julie was really big. Its in our genes – grandma was over 300 lbs until about sixty or so and she’s no size 14 even now. “ “And so?” Savannah said, prompting her sister to continue. “Mom warned me that I had a choice of continuing to gain now, then learning discipline when I get older and find that I’ve become big enough that my size begins to bother me (notice that I didn’t say bothering others!). Of course, she told me, I have another option. I can try conforming to what everyone expects and feel deprived all time f I want to starve myself. That’s the choice she and Aunt Julie faced.” Annette said with a disgusted look. She had no inclination to try really depriving her palate. “So, since you’re free to choose being fat, I am too. Got it.” Savannah replied. “Here’s the problem,” continued Annette. “Mom warned be that if I took the first route and gained too much things might get awkward. I could wind up not fitting in the class desks. That would mean having to sit on a bench seat in the back of the room like her sister did. She left it to be my decision – but she thought I should know. Being a fat girl in a thin world makes you stand out.” Savannah nodded. “I didn’t know you’d discussed all that – but I’ve not seen you dieting.” “No,” Annette declared. “For now at least I’ve decided to just eat as I feel like it and try not to gain too much. Frankly I don’t mind being the family fat girl, just hope I’m not too much over 200 for my high school prom. What you had to go through to be a cheerleader just isn’t for me.”. Savannah recalled those days, surprised that Annette, who was still in elementary school then, had even noticed. Like Maggie she’d had to lose several pounds to qualify for the team, and it hadn’t been easy. Now her once round belly was returning and she was privately enjoying caressing her new chub as well as more fleshy thighs. Shortly afterwards she first talked with Jim, who assured her that whatever she’d gained was fine by him, and then with her mom. Mrs. Maxwell reaffirmed what Annette had said. Like Savanah’s boyfriend, Mrs. Maxwell denied that her older daughter was anywhere near being seriously overweight. But she did offer to help Savannah with wardrobe advice including buying clothes for school. The fact was that Jim thoroughly enjoyed eating at the Maxwell house. He also appreciated the fact that his own well-rounded body was apparently favored by Savannah’s mom, who commented one evening that it was “better to be husky than hungry.” Chris and Savannah, it should be noted, were both a few inches shorter than Maggie, and Sawyer was tallest of the four. Their new weight was for the most part focused on their bellies, which were becoming become noticeably softer, but their legs and bust were growing as well Savannah was a paradox when it came to her wardrobe. After the conversation triggered by Annette her mom kept her word. In addition to back to school clothes they began periodically visited the mall together to select dresses that fit her figure. This meant favoring empire cut solid color or floral pattern garments with short sleeves. They were comfortable to wear, but also gave room for her growing butt cheeks and belly. Legwear, on the other hand, was another matter. Her mom favored wide legged gaucho pants in several colors rather than leggings. Savannah agreed and they became personal favorites. But she also had jeans that she didn’t want to give up as long as she could get them to fit over her thighs and hips. The result was a generous muffin top overflow which she called her “pizza belly” after eating a large meal. When seated her entire abdomen began forming into two tire-like rolls through her undersized clothing. Her arms were becoming softer as well. Jim didn’t mind this a bit and so Savannah went on acting as though she hadn’t really gained much at all. Privately she knew otherwise, finding squeezing, stroking and caressing her added pounds to be auto-erotic. Chris was much more realistic, acknowledging her changes while at the same time discounting them. She knew the first of her extra pounds had come slowly but more were being hastened by an eventful discussion with her mom the week before. “Chris, we need to talk," her mom had declared in a serious tone that immediately caught her daughter’s attention. "I've got a problem and you I hope can help me." Chris had taken a deep breath and then relaxed, "What's wrong, mom?" "You mentioned Maggie helping with Mrs, Swanson’s career move, right?” began Mrs. Maxwell. “Yes,” her daughter responded. “Well, I’m in much the same situation. I’m being given a nice promotion with a big raise. That part is great, but it’s going to mean longer hours. I'm going to have delegate - and that could include your following your friends steps by helping in cooking around here,” her mom had declared, “but you can be rewarded.” “How?“ asked her daughter. “What all is involved?” “You'll get to plan our meals, shop for the food, and then cook some of them,” her mom answered. “It will teach you a lot and, since it’s such a responsibility I'll be giving you $100 per week - half of which you can spend and the other half you can put in a savings account. The alternatives are to hire someone or order out. I'd rather not do either. Do you think you can help me?" Chris’s quick mind had raced. She’d prepared her own breakfast scores of times and helped with dinner – she knew she could do it. But this would mean full responsibility for her siblings as well. But $50 extra per week plus a savings account? She loved her mom and dad, knew they needed the added income and felt up to the challenge. In cooking for five Chris had consciously tried not to overeat, but it seemed a pound or so had shown up each month anyway. Fortunately, her boyfriend, Roger Stoneman, was supportive rather than critical - even helping with shopping and angling to be invited over (which occurred about once a week). It was much the same attitude as Jim Roberts had towards Savannah. Jim and Roger were on Thursday morning at Savannah’s along with Chris as the two couples were planning to attend a matinee. Around noon Annette announced that she was making hot dogs to go with some potato salad in the refrigerator for lunch; she offered to make extra ones for her former cheerleader sister plus her one-time teammate and boyfriends. “Sure,” chirped Savannah. “We’re not leaving for at least an hour or so.” Thirty minutes later both Chris and Savannah, along with Jim and Roger, had two loaded hot dogs apiece plus a generous serving of potato salad and a large handful of chips. Annette went back to her room with a similar meal which she would eat while on line. Chris appreciated the hospitality but couldn’t help but note that, although Annette was three years younger, she appeared to already be heavier than either herself or her older sister. “Yes,” Savannah acknowledged, as she took a bite of her own dog. “She’s got an appetite and grazes a lot. She really doesn’t care about the size of her belly or how wide her hips look. Mom isn’t exactly small either you know – and our Dad seems to like it. I’m not bothered about it either – who knows, I could get really bigger someday too.” Chris shrugged, noting Savannah’s apparent denial of her own already large current reality, and quietly ate her own lunch. But she wasn’t surprised when about an hour later Annette emerged from her room again and offered to get them ice cream for dessert. Both couples turned down the invitation, noting that it was time to head for the movie. As they were leaving she noticed Annette in the kitchen opening the refrigerator freezer door. The truth of Savannah’s statement was apparent. It was Sawyer’s semi-steady date, Charles Harris, who felt differently. He’d been the one to first point out Maggie’s gain to Sawyer – and also the one who’d commented on Savannah. The lanky former cheerleader, tallest of the quartet, was already a tad fat phobic because of her mom’s remarks and attitude. Although Sawyer hadn’t gained a pound herself, Charles still made it clear that he felt the need to echo her mom and remind her to be careful. Sawyer in principle agreed somewhat with her boyfriend’s concern due to her mom’s attitude; she accordingly made allowance for his somewhat controlling attitude. At one level she actually shared his analysis (witness what was happening with her former teammates). But she inwardly also resented the pressure from others. They seemed to demand and expect conformity to their societal standards rather than allowing people to make choices for themselves. That’s why she’d joined in with the others in “letting loose” once a month. As Maggie Swanson finished her breakfast she was of course oblivious to all of the weight related drama in her friends’ lives. She only knew that she was now becoming comfortable in her own new body, had Johnny in her corner and probably her dad as well. She knew she would probably have to deal with her sister, and to a lesser degree her mom, on their return. But for today that evening was going to be time for she and Johnny to prepare lasagna and dessert for eight people. Maggie had a different mental image of her figure from that of her sister Kathy, who was at her younger age becoming a total pear from her waist down but smaller on top. Maggie knew her own figure had a well-developed bust line and upper torso. Her belly, although increasingly thicker and noticeable, didn’t lie in her lap when sitting. Neither did it extend beyond her breasts when standing (as she’d observed to be the case with some girls at school). Nor did she have significant back fat that rippled when she reached over her head. And, although they had grown, neither her thighs or hips had the jiggling like that of some of her classmates whom she had noticed. She’d gained some, sure, but it had been for a purpose – just as when she’d lost. She didn’t think of herself as truly fat – and, technically, she wasn’t. Not really. Not yet.
  13. Your choice, and I know you've mentioned that, for some reason, you "hate dating." That's too bad, becausee it means you could be passing up a mutually beneficial relationship (assuming that having one with a full bodied woman is your desire). Here's what I see: You met her on a dating site, which likely means you share some common interests, enough to merit a meeting. But she has insecurities about her body, which she tries to conceal by overdressing. Developing enough rapport to get by that unfortunate psychological barrier and see your real mutual potential takes more effort than just one contact, but many men attracted to BBWs have done it. Sharing mutual interests doesn't have to be labeled as "dating" per se, if that word has a bad connotation such as commitment or exclusivity. But relationship building does require ongoing communication and contact at some level. This lady seems to need trust and affirmation; the guy who can give it to her (possibly you) might find himself richly rewarded.
  14. Chapter Five – two young lads with opposite views Jonathan Westmore, Johnny to his classmates, awoke on Wednesday around 8:00 to find a text message from Maggie. “Thanks for the great evening but can I treat you to breakfast? I need to talk.” Unknown to him. his dinner companion of the prior evening, Maggie, had been wrestling since early dawn with three views. The first was her view of herself naked in the mirror. She’d finally taken time to study the changes in her body. Despite two slight torso side bulges, which with a few more thousand calories would easily become love handles, and obviously thickened thighs, she wasn’t repelled by her naked image. She thought she wore her new weight well, especially her slightly increased bust. She wasn’t yet aware of the thin layer of developing fat on her back or the jiggle from her softening rump when walking. The second was the view with her new clothes on, which she agreed with Johnny complimented her figure just fine. She was softer but far from becoming a fat girl (at least in her own view). When wearing them there was only a hint of pudginess; she experienced none of the visible rolls and discomfort from wearing ill-fitting or under-size garments that she’d seen some struggle with. She still, however, struggled with an awareness of her sister Kathy’s awareness of her body. Her sibling had more than once commented about the outline of her increasingly pudgy tummy being visible through her jumper, even calling it a “permanent food baby;” more recently she'd alluded to Maggie's increasingly fleshy arms and fuller jawline - implying that the latter was a nascent double chin. The third view concerned her older clothes. Around 5:00 am she’d arisen and tried getting into her old cheer-leading outfit. In it she both felt and looked like a stuffed sausage. Next she tried two of her older slacks and found she couldn’t pull them up her leg even past her thighs; two others were very tight and impossible to clasp shut. A few others she could get on, but she could tell that when in public she would be having to constantly pull at and adjust them. Finally she knew that her enter coat, although wearable, could no longer be buttoned in front. Maggie might not be thinking of herself as fat, but had to acknowledge that her former clothes were definitely now too small. What she had that did feel comfortable was the dress for the dance, two freshly purchased slacks and a matching jumper top. “Either mom and dad spring for a new wardrobe or I’m going to have very little to choose from,” she thought to herself. But then she thought ahead to her mom's promotion and her own possible new job - one which made both more pounds likely and a wardrobe upgrade possible. It was in this context that she wanted to talk with Johnny. He understood and didn’t condemn her new-found appetite as she thought her classmates might. But he was enabling her to make choices that frightened her and, at least after Friday or the dance at the latest, she felt she needed to tell him that she had to stop indulging, at least for awhile, regardless of how much she enjoyed doing so, Or at least that’s what she intended to say to him at breakfast. Johnny returned her text message. They decided to meet at a local diner which had a $5.49 special for breakfast – large muffin or pancakes, two eggs any style and a choice of turkey sausage or bacon. After ordering Johnny listened patiently as Maggie laid out details of the dilemma that was tormenting her. “And,” she concluded,” that’s why, after the dance next week I’m going to just have to stop eating so much. I hope it doesn’t offend you or destroy the memories of what we’ve been sharing.” Johnny was quiet. He knew he could give her a different option, but was hesitant to share it. Finally he spoke . “Let me ask you to consider some “outside the box” thinking – OK?” “What do you mean?” Maggie asked in a puzzled tone as she finished her savory and over-sized blueberry muffin slathered with fresh butter. “Have you heard of random acts of kindness?” Johnny inquired. “Sure. Someone who sees a chance to do good does it spontaneously – no recognition or thought of reward,” Maggie answered, ““or assignment of credit. It’s as much as possible done anonymously.” “Do you have a dollar bill on you?” Johnny continued. “Yes, I told you I was paying for breakfast,” she replied. “Could you lay it on the table? “ he asked as her as he reached into his own pocket. “Uh, OK,” she said as she complied. He laid a lotto scratcher next to it. “That’s a $2 ticket – but it’s also a winner, worth $1,000. It can only be redeemed by day even though I bought it at night. The convenience store doesn’t carry that much cash in the evening. If you let me sell half of it to you for a dollar it means you have $500. Would that take care of a wardrobe upgrade?’” “Well, yes, but …” she stammered. “Let me finish” Johnny interrupted. “it’s not for me to force you into making a choice about your weight.. Like your Dad says that’s up to you, but it’s a shame to be forced into something other than what you really want. With thus ticket you now have a viable set of options – try losing weight so that your old wardrobe fits or instead please yourself and get a new one, telling your sister mom and friends that since cheer leading is no longer the focus of your life you’re exercising your right to be yourself. Which choice is the one that you want?” “Couldn’t I get the new wardrobe anyway and then try dieting later?” Maggie asked. “That’s an option as well,” Johnny affirmed. “I care about you too much to let you be boxed in on something when it’s not necessary. So, without committing this minute. the offer is on the table. ” Maggie stared at the ticket and dollar bill for a full minute while Johnny held his peace. Then she pushed the dollar his way. “OK, but you’ll need to cash it alone. I’m only 16. And there’s one condition.” “Which is?” he asked hesitantly. “You know you left pie at my place. Now you have to let me share supper with you tonight so that I can give your piece. The entrée will be my version of meatloaf with macaroni and cheese,” Maggie declared. “Agreed,” replied Johnny with a silent sense of relief, as Maggie seemed to have shelved her dieting concerns. “6:00?” “6:00. Now, let’s get that ticket cashed. I’ve got shopping to do and a dinner to prepare,” Maggie declared. By 10:00 that morning Maggie was fully into a three hour shopping spree, with Johnny (since he had the wheels) tagging along. The outing included an 800+ calorie rolled lamb pita at a Mediterranean style restaurant in the mall food court. Then it was home to unpack, cook supper and take a brief nap. When Johnny arrived back on time at 6:00 Maggie was happy and ready to share the evening with him. He’d expected meatloaf and macaroni with cheese but not as a single entrée. Maggie, using an online recipe, had the mac and cheese in the middle of two meat portions, sandwich style. Following Johnny’s pattern of the night before she also had peas on the side plus a Cesar salad with creamy ranch dressing. Johnny was impressed, both by the menu and the fact that she served herself as well as him a generous second helping. “Yeah,“ she remarked, noticing his enjoyment. “I can cook and like eating, but my sister and sometimes my mom don’t always like the calorie count of my choices. But it looks like I may be cooking breakfasts for the family soon and getting paid for it. So they'll need to be quiet.” Johnny decided to remain impartial, simply reaffirming his appreciation of her culinary abilities. They spent a quiet evening together, climaxed by dispatch of the remainder of the chocolate silk pie. Sawyer’s week by Wednesday was nowhere near as pleasant. She had indulged in the Monday evening feast with her friends and thoroughly enjoyed it. Stuffed to the gills she had slept late on Tuesday, an event noted and correctly attributed by her mom, who left for work determined to talk with her daughter that night. As a single mom she knew her vigilance was essential lest her daughter get caught up in what she regarded as the nation’s the obesity epidemic. Sawyer realized in arising what she was likely in for – it had happened before. Her mom would want to know exactly how much she’d eaten and then demand to know what Sawyer planned to do to compensate for the excess calories. To Sawyer this type of policing was normal, done for her own good since elementary school, but her concurrence didn’t make it any more pleasant. Sawyer waited until 10:00 am to rise, then had a breakfast of raisin bran with skim milk and a banana. She then mapped out her schedule: a double portion of exercises separated by a homemade tuna salad including two boiled eggs for lunch. This is what she knew her mom would expect, that is what she dutifully did and it would be so reported. But she winced when Savannah later texted that she was having lunch was with her boyfriend at Chipotle and they each were enjoying a burrito bowl. Sawyer thought forlornly about the meat, beans, rice, lettuce, cheese and guacamole calorie bomb she well knew would terrify her fat-phobic mom and boyfriend. “Like Charles would ever surprise me with something like that,” she thought. “I doubt if his lips have ever touched a Sno-Cone.” Charles Harris wasn’t a bad person. He was actually of impeccable character, personally kind, intelligent and her mother’s favorite, partially because they once or twice a month watched PBS television programs to give Mrs. Williams company. He also took Sawyer to movies, concerts and even some interesting state historic parks – but never tempting Sawyer with excess calories. Charles was, like his mother (who shared membership in a local women’s group), totally health food oriented, and not one to ever have a double cheeseburger or a pizza from a fast food store. But he agreed with Mrs. William’s disdain of those who did. Sawyer initially wondered how he would feel about Friday’s dinner, but had invited him anyway. It would assuage her mom’s concerns about the menu. The report on Tuesday night with her mom went as expected, with Sawyer leaving out Savannah’s extra pizza order bonus. Fortunately Sawyer’s compensating measures met with approval. When she mentioned the gathering on Friday her mom was visibly relieved that her date was Charles. “With him there you won’t be tempted to fall into any fatal temptations,” her mom observed. “A second helping here, another soda there, it can add up so suddenly - you just can’t afford to let your guard down.” “But as skinny as I am why does it need to be up all the time,” Sawyer wondered. She knew her Mother’s dismissive reply if asked would be that such diligence is what was needed to hold the line for both societal and health reasons, but part of her felt it wasn’t quite right. She noted that a philosophical thought from her civics class teacher which seemed to apply here. “You can maximize people’s protection from crime, poverty and bad decisions very easily. Simply put them in isolated cells that shield them from all harm, relieving them from all responsibility for decisions. But in the process a problem arises. “You destroy freedom, preventing the protected class from doing anything unique as citizens. This produces a surprising long term reaction. Sooner or later, even if problem free due to their confinement and content because they are cared for, they become dependent, their individuality stifled and their critical thinking skills deadened. “For some its even worse. They can even become ill, ultimately beyond the ability to be treated by doctor They will eventually expire, not having enjoyed much of what life has to offer. And who is it that pays for the caretakers if everyone lives their life in this hypothetical cocoon? “ Somehow, applying this approach to weight issues made more sense to Sawyer than her Mom’s conformity approach. But, for now as a minor, she felt too stifled to assert herself – especially with her boyfriend backing her mom.
  15. Chapter Four – Girl’s reunion and blossoming friendship Maggie arrived home sated but content from the afternoon lunch with Johnny. Her shopping trip had made her finally aware that her metabolism might be changing. She now knew that she wasn’t as immune from gaining weight as she’d always assumed. But at the moment, as she put away her newly purchased larger sized clothes, she still wasn’t really that concerned. Maggie was intelligent with great grades academically, but when it came to physical activity she tended to be on the lazy side, with her only real physical activity before volleyball having been cheer-leading rehearsals. Maggie came from a cheer leading family; both her mom and her grandma before that had been cheerleaders – although her mom had chubbed up after two years on the squad and her grandmother in adulthood had later grown to SSBBW proportions. Even though Maggie wasn’t really that much into cheer leading, she felt like she had had an obligation to do it, to make her mom and grandma proud. Now Maggie realized, she was evolving a somewhat curvy body. Unlike most cheerleaders she knew, who had six packs for abs, Maggie had always had a little bit of a belly - not big, or fat, just soft. She had inherited wide hips and slightly thick thighs from her mom, and a big bubble butt from her grandma and aunt. When she gained thirty pounds for the volleyball team her body began sporting C-cup breasts, developing into a nice pear shape, unlike the other skin-and-bones or hourglass cheerleaders. Her coaches encouraged her to strengthen her muscles with calisthenics, assuring her that her weight placement could actually be a sign of good metabolic health. “Its nothing to really worry about,” Coach Davidson had confided. “Having a higher body fat level in the gluteofemoral region – the hips, butt, and thighs – is a normal because that’s where women store DHA (often scarce during pregnancy) for future baby brain construction.” Thus guided Maggie was happy not to have to worry about her size during the season because she’d come to enjoy comfort eating. Essentially Maggie was quickly adapting to being cool with her larger size, especially since she had a penchant for indulging her appetite. This shift in attitude in turn led to a relaxed attitude about her weight again creeping up post season. With her new larger clothes packed away Maggie went to play on her computer. In actuality, Maggie had shared little in common with the stereotypical cheerleader- she was a closet dork, and loved things like video games, comic books, and anime. She checked her email and noted a message from a fellow ex-cheerleader, Sawyer Williams: “Understand you’re home alone this week What about a girls’ night dinner with Savannah, Chris and I?” Savannah and Chris had also been members of the cheer leading squad, with Sawyer and Chris much more dedicated to weight watching during that time than Maggie. But their watchfulness had limits. About once every three months all four would let their guards down. They instead had a “no calorie counting allowed” joint dinner, each one bringing a course. Usually it was tied together with a sleepover which involved even more food. After graduation they had continued this tradition, doing it at Maggie’s several times, which was part of the observations by Maggie’s sister Kathy. “Sure” Maggie replied. “What about tomorrow night? I have a casserole my mom left – Chris can do the salad and drinks, you do dessert and Savannah the rolls and some veggies.” Sawyer called Chris and Savannah, who were expecting her to relay Maggie’s response. Both agreed to their assignments, Chris noting that Maggie and Savannah of the quartet seemed to be doing more than just a quarterly binge night. “Yeah,” Sawyer agreed. “Since cheer leading stopped they’ve gained a bit. I’ve wondered if they notice, but bringing it up could ruin or friendship. I suggest we not say anything.” “Oh definitely,” Chris replied. “And to be honest I’ve picked up a few myself, so I‘ve nothing to talk about.” Maggie of course was oblivious to this critique and contentedly continued playing on line video games for the next few hours. When it came time for supper she was glad not to have to be concerned about the remarks of her sister or reproachful eye of her mom. That evening, without hesitation, she popped a double portion of Stouffer’s Ketchup-Glazed meatloaf in gravy with mashed potatoes into the microwave. Experience had taught her the truth of a reviewer’s comments, “great taste but child sized portions,” which in practice meant she wouldn’t be satisfied with just one. After cleaning up from supper she watched some game shows on television for an hour, grazing on a large bag of chips with dip in the process. Thoughts about Johnny kept crossing her mind. She’d wanted to be closer to him for four years and now she’d both shared a meal and had a dance coming up. Getting bored, she went back to her computer after ladling out a large bowl of ice-cream for dessert. There she was surprised to have an email from Johnny: “Great running into you today. “Would it be permissible to make you a dinner Tuesday if I supply the ingredients? “Suggested menu: homemade chicken fried steak with potatoes and green beans with a store-bought pie (flavor of your choice) for dessert? “J” Maggie replied coyly: “Trying to spoil someone you barely know? Well, I’ve nothing else for that night so, why not?” Johnny smiled as he read and confirmed. He was confident that his culinary skills would result in an easy 2000 calories boost to his new girlfriend. And she would enjoy every bite. The next morning, which was Monday, Maggie finished off the last couple of pre-frozen pancakes with some eggs, beef patty, cut watermelon pieces and coffee, then did the laundry before watching more television. Lunch was a bowl of grapes with a pair of grilled cheese sandwiches and tea, followed by a nap in anticipation of the evening. Before the arrival of her friends she slipped into one of her newly purchased outfits and smiled at her figure in the mirror. “Not exactly normal cheerleader style, but definitely not beyond curvy,” she reassured herself. Sawyer was the first to arrive, followed by Chris and Savannah together. Maggie already had the table set and the casserole heating in the oven, game boxes set off to the side. Sawyer noted the freshness and good taste of Maggie’s wardrobe but also the filling out of her face and chin. Maggie, she noted, had definitely been putting on some serious pounds. Savannah, who at 5’2” was the shortest of the four, appeared to her to have grown chunky as well, with full hips, belly roll and nascent love handles. All four girls attacked their meals with zest as though they hadn’t eaten all day. But Sawyer noted that Maggie’s self-served portions seemed a little more generous than the others with Savannah not far behind. Chris halfway into the meal suggested that it would be nice to have another dinner and invite guys. Maggie, thinking of Johnny, immediately suggested Friday night, to which the others agreed. To both Sawyer and Maggie’s surprise it was Savannah who later that night, after two hours of games, suggested ordering in pizza. Since she was paying the others assented and the foursome wound up the evening polishing off two large pizzas plus sodas. Next morning Maggie awakened to the aroma of something from the kitchen. It was Savannah, preparing breakfast burritos using a combination of fried eggs, ground hamburger and refried beans topped with melted cheese. “What’s this?” Inquired a confused Maggie. “My treat for allowing me the chance to let loose and eat like I enjoy for a change,” explained Savannah. “My mom has been fussing about my weight a bit so I feel like I have to hold back in the morning. I’ll reimburse you for the food, but I thought it would be better than coffee and toast.” “Yeah, uh, sure,” replied Maggie, not wanting to disclose that, unlike the others, coffee and toast wasn’t her usual breakfast of choice lately anyway. “Thanks – it smells great and forget about reimbursing anything. My mom would have had us have breakfast if she were here, so what’s the difference if you changed the menu?” Chris and Sawyer soon joined them and the four ex-cheerleaders chatted until ten before breaking up. Maggie then cleaned up and decided to go easy on lunch considering that Johnny was preparing supper. She played on the computer to kill time for a while, then had a microwaved Marie Callendar pot pie before taking a nap, not noting that it had had 620 calories on top of the 850 already consumed for breakfast. Later in the afternoon Maggie rose and made sure the kitchen was in good order for Johnny. An amateur but decent cook herself, thanks to Aunt Emily, she wondered how good he would turn out to be. He arrived just before five o’clock and asked to be shown about the kitchen. He then invited her to watch him and chat or look at tv for an hour. She decided to watch him and chat. For the next sixty minutes he played Gordon Ramsey as he simultaneously juggled the main entrée and two side dishes, ignoring the store-bought pie he had stashed in the refrigerator – hopefully without Maggie noticing. Actually, she had seen him slip it in, but played ignorant. She noted with fascination that he tried to clean used utensils as he went along, thereby minimizing clean-up. Thanking Maggie for having pre-set the dining table Johnny around 5:50 set out a salad with organic ranch dressing from Trader Joe's and a basket soft homemade dinner rolls, inviting Maggie to start in. She reached for a roll but said she’d wait on the salad for him. He smiled as the first roll quickly became a second. Within minutes of the 6:00 scheduled time he delivered both entrees to the table and delivered a blessing on the food. Maggie, who had yet to even take a bite of the main meal, was impressed. She wondered what the rest of the evening would bring. As far as Maggie knew Johnny primarily thought of her as a former head cheerleader, with curly red and black hair that came down to just past her shoulders and beautiful baby blue eyes that seemed to read your thoughts. She had secured her position not from ambition to cheer or even be a stereotypical queen bee, but by diligent practice and kindness towards teammates, traits that made her the natural leader. This was despite a slight belly and the beginnings of a pear-shaped butt that in intermediate school was firm yet jiggly at the same time. Even as her thighs had filled in, her butt had expanded and her breasts had grown towards a C cup as a Freshman in high school this older image in the mirror is what Maggie recalled. A few more pounds didn’t make her that much different in her own eyes, and she was happy to have drawn Johnny’s attention. To her he was a comparably intelligent, tall, black-haired classmate with warm brown eyes she’d liked at a distance but who had always seemed preoccupied and disinterested until the encounter last week Maggie had no idea what had triggered his sudden dance invitation (and now a second meal) but she was thoroughly enjoying it. She could, for this week at least, be herself without comments from her sister and Mom. She was just enough of a rebel to go along with whatever the more athletic appearing Johnny wanted to do related to food. What Maggie didn't know was that, although Johnny was a leader in two clubs, he did not have a totally fulfilling social life. This was because in his heart Johnny had always had a thing for full figured girls, but the ones he knew couldn’t embrace his liking them. But Maggie as he was now evolving he perceived was different. He was also aware of her cavalier eating habits, the consequences of which had been showing. Like Maggie’s sister and mom Johnny had noticed, but with a different reaction. He envisioned her gaining 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 more pounds with a supportive boyfriend. By chance he’d been at the buffet checking out portly diners when he’d overhead the exchange between Maggie, Kathy and Julia. After seeing Maggie’s reaction, including the defiant additional plate, he decided it was time to act. The button popping incident simply confirmed his view. Now, at her house as the chicken fried steak sizzled in its gravy Johnny commented “It will take a few minutes to cool down – meanwhile how is the salad?” “Actually (munch, chew) this is my first forkful,” Maggie replied with her mouth half full. “Tastes like you’ve included boysenberries and raisins – very good, and healthy too.” “Along with sliced mushrooms, two kinds of lettuce, shredded carrots and some other stuff,“ Johnny replied. Maggie smiled and kept on chewing. "Actually it’s a mix from Trader Joe’s market, but I’m glad you like it,” he continued, not mentioning the croutons or calorie rich dressing. “How (munch, chew) did a guy your age get so involved with cooking,” she inquired while continuing to devour the salad along with the last of her second buttered roll. “With both parents working and food shows on TV it just seemed the thing to do rather than having take-out or macaroni every night,” Johnny answered. “It started with simple stuff like meatloaves and casseroles, then grew from there.” Maggie offered Johnny her plate and he served her one of the four steaks still sizzling the pan, then added a generous helping of mashed potatoes and a side of Brussel sprouts. Maggie added butter to the potatoes and cut into the steak, pronouncing it superb. Johnny smiled as he took a similar portion for himself. Things were going just as planned. “I take it this is a little fancier than you expected,” he asked as she finished off the last of her first serving of mashed potatoes and scooped out a second helping. “Umm, from a guy our age, yeah. But I cook too – unlike some cheerleaders,” she commented putting another large bite into her mouth. “We (munch, chew) had a girl’s night yesterday and I could tell I was getting the look over because of gaining a few pounds this year, like it’s some huge deal. I’m glad my Dad isn’t like my sister, always implying I’m growing out of things, or my mom, with cautionary comments. He says what I choose to eat is up to me and keeps them at bay.” “And I’m 100% with your dad. Your figure and your clothes match up just fine and I think you look great,” Johnny responded as Maggie almost absent mindedly moved the second piece of chicken fried steak onto her plate. Maggie suddenly paused halfway through her second helping and looked at Johnny. “I wonder whether I should ask you something,” she inquired. “What’s that?” Johnny replied as he cut the last chicken fried steak piece in two and took half for himself along with some more mashed potatoes. “On Friday all four of us girls are preparing a meal here and inviting four guys. I think you’d be a great one to have with me.” Maggie offered. “Invitation accepted – would you be able to share any help on the cooking?” Johnny replied. “I’m really good at fried chicken and lasagna. Or we could do Walhalla pasta. I also know some great foreign dishes.” “If your lasagna is a good as this steak I would definitely like to have some, although not this moment,” she exclaimed rubbing her belly. “but what is Walhalla pasta?” “It’s an off the menu specialty at most Outback steakhouses – I got the recipe off the Internet,” answered Johnny. “Took four tries to get it really right. It’s basically chicken alfredo with vegetables plus peppers, Parmesan cheese and either fettuccine noodles or penne pasta, but the rich sauce is what makes the difference. It uses thick whipping cream combined with the peppers for a taste you can’t believe!” Maggie, her mouth now empty after her second helping, found her taste buds salivating from the description. “By then I might have room,” she said softly. “Is it difficult to make?” “Not if you have the ingredients – but for eight people it might be pricey, at least $40-50. “ “We’re sharing the cost – $25 a couple, so that would work. But I want to help you and learn,” Maggie answered, her eyes surveying the last of the steak and potatoes. Johnny caught her thought. “OK, then I’ll do it. Meanwhile if you have room for the left overs I’ll clean up – or we can put them in the refrigerator,” he offered. “Ummm, I’m so full already - but they’re just dabs. No point in saving scraps. If you’ll give me another glass, I guess I can manage handing them. You have really proved yourself a cook,” she answered. Johnny smiled, thinking of the chocolate silk pie in the refrigerator for later and knowing Maggie had already ingested around 1600 calories. As he washed off the dishes and loaded the dishwasher she contentedly finished off the last of his efforts, after which they retired to the living room to watch reruns on Netflix. Later on a large slice of the pie with a glass of milk would for the evening add another 650 calories – and three more would remain for the next day.
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