I have a hard time showing the public I like larger women. How to?

[Serfontein]

Don't you live in Ireland? The closest place to 'Murica on the right side of the Atlantic.

I only just saw this thanks to the above bump. I do - but it's the northern part. There's a lot less immigration up here so the people are very closed minded and it's a very tit for tat society fuelled by the unique, disruptive and just plain awful politics here. It's not the same free-spirited multicultural experience that's present on the rest of the Island.

Since this was bumped and I'm interested in continuing the conversation in a slightly different direction based on the above post. How do you guys deal with or respond to I guess what could be called 'casual abuse', just when you're out and about and someone shouts over something nasty about the heavy girl you're with?

What's the *best* way to react to that? Is ignoring it always the right approach?

[scissortooth]

Since this was bumped and I'm interested in continuing the conversation in a slightly different direction based on the above post. How do you guys deal with or respond to I guess what could be called 'casual abuse', just when you're out and about and someone shouts over something nasty about the heavy girl you're with?

What's the *best* way to react to that? Is ignoring it always the right approach?

I guess the best way to react depends heavily on what your lady expects of you, your martial skills, sharpness of tongue and whether the abusers are in possession of sharp objects.

[Guest Jeffl20]

My advice is do what you want.  It's tour life, right?  Who cares what they say?!

[SRS1998]

Dead thread but I thought Id put my two cents in.

I was once like OP. OH THE GUILT, THE GUILT. I seriously was embarrassed about it and thought everyone would think Im weird as fuck. The couple of times I did mention I like thick girls during high school, I def got some weird looks. And all I said was THICK. People are such shamers sometimes. I was for years very conflicted and ashamed. I shed some tears hating myself even, wishing it would just go away. No joke it sucked.

I later ended up finding out my best friend at the time liked big girls although he would always act like it was a joke. He REALLY did like em big. Then one night at my other homie's cottage after drinking a whole bottle of vodka at 3 am n getting stoned, he came out to me that he doesnt have a problem with chubby girls and actually prefers them. I was shocked. I doubt he would have ever told me if he wasnt shit faced. its all a clost case shame thing I think. Ill never forget it.

My current girlfriend is my first visibly fatter girl Ive dated. I just decided to fucking EMBRACE that shit and own it. Just show her off and be proud because thats what you love, man. You should be proud of it. Not go around being a fucking weirdo telling everyone, but just act like everything is normal. When I showed my mom a photo of my girl the first thing she said was "how big is she? she looks bigger" I was like "yeah, but idc I dont mind it" and guess what? that was that! I show off my girl all the time. I LOVE posting photos of her on facebook and instagram full body. I want everyone to see shes a fat sexy little thing, im proud!

Just dont care. Let everyone see who youre fucking, OR dating. its YOUR dick, your life, YOUR desires. You wanna be satisfied, or pretend to be just for other peoples approval and desire something you cant have all your life? what I thought. Do what is gonna make you smile. as Shia LeBeouf would say- JUST DO IT

[bangs15]

When you realize that walking around with a fat girlfriend and not being ashamed is seriously a very charismatic act because it shows that you do what you like without giving a fuck about what others think of you.

[WhoDat]

Others here have said this too, but -

It gets easier as you get older to be yourself, and not care what people think. 

Not "fight back." not take a defensive pose, not make a big declaration -

But just not care. Life is a punch in the balls frequently. FREQUENTLY. And eventually what's important is what's left, and what's not is left behind.

like me? cool

don't like me? cool

 

As a dear friend said, "No one is asking them (your friends) to sleep with a 300-pound woman." 

Half of 'em probably wondering, here and there ,what it might be like to get under the covers with such a woman, too, in secret.

The other thing is - when you finally do find a beautiful fat woman, it's sometimes so explosive for the both of you that no one can really say much. My last GF kept me in bed for 4-5 hours at a time, and anyone who saw us together could tell, "Holy shit, these guys are on fire." Yea, some guffaws from the peanut court, and some "awwwwww!" from ladies who were happy to see a nice, handsome man with a woman twice his size holding her hand. But otherwise, man, you are  in heaven.  You go to bed with this woman and she is fucking FAT, and wow, wow, wow, wow. You're drunk on her and you're really not thinking too much about others and their possible judgement.

You just can't wait for the next time you get to see her, touch her, talk to her, kiss her, run your hands over those rolls and tell her what a cute lil' butterball she is and watch her face turn red but she sees you mean it totally devotionally, that you're nuts about her.

All the other relationship stuff notwithstanding - gender war, communication, handling misunderstandings, jealousy, life things, her mother, your father, all of it -

Everyone wants that passion, that on-fire shit.

[kururu]

The reason why men are so reticent is simply evolutionary. Fat girls are regarded by society as unfit partners further down the pecking order. Men who like them subconsciously assume that people will perceive them as non-alpha or unfeasible and that something is "wrong" with them. In my opinion, these are stupid reasons, but hard to overcome. One thing that's useful to realise is that societal competition is not the way to happiness, self-recognition and fulfillment are.

[Guest qwerty111]

It's not really about being ashamed of someone. It's more about the feeling that you do something, which is considered weird. It's about the whole situation.

Especially when you live in a part of world, where like 90% girls are skinny. And the guys are skinny. If you go out with a big (and I mean - really big) girl - you instantly feel you are being judged. If you are much smaller than her - she will be judged even more.

And you can say it's irrational, that you should not care etc. But you do care. Because showing each other intimacy in public gets uncomfortable.

Well, as a slim, short guy who is with a girl 2x heavier than me and 8 years older than me I can say - it sucks. 

[Guest Goldwing]

An important topic, for sure. Glad this thread got a recent bump.

I'm a bad example of 'how to get over the stigma,' because I never felt the stigma. For me, liking bigger women has always been in the same vein as any other preference. Sure, I did lose some friends who were a little more superficial about women's looks, but at the same time I also found out who my closer, more true friends were - the ones who just cared I was happy. As one gets older, there are always going to be things than thin your friend base - be it a preference for bigger women, a difference of opinion in politics, support or disapproval of certain life choices, etc.

It does suck a lot that a preference for larger women isn't yet viewed like a preference for raven--haired beauties for example - just a simple, run-of-the-mill preference. And unfortunately, there will continue to be social stigma for some time to come. That said, what matters most is your own happiness. If you can find a larger woman who you also connect with, then that's got to be the most important thing. Social pressures be damned, you've found someone who makes you happy. That's what matters.

[matsuiny2004]

The social pressures are chasing so your not alone. Being a size 4 is no longer a big thing anymore and plus size models and Ruben who flaunt their curves are really changing this.

[CosplayGirl CLIPS]

hmm everybody is always judging. The second you surround yourself by ppl you have the eyes of them on you XD and in the end whats the difference between having a big lady or having a slim lady all dressed in black. Or someone who does skin tanning regular and looks like "orange" ^_~ you will get stares all the time. I dont like the phrase "you need to learn how to dance in the rain" but tbh that helped me alot. At least with going out and showing myself off XD I do cosplay so ppl stare at me anyway. They stare at slim girls, big girl, guys and everybody dressed up because its different and omg not normal, because normal adults just go to clubs drink their self into coma and go home ^^ Anyway... when i got bigger, i didnt even notices a difference. Now its just funny. I spend some days in a rehab and i just dressed like i always do. Wearing tight knit dresses (was winter), pantyhose and boots. Ppl stared at me, the first day it was a little bit too much i know, but it was arrival day and i was wearing what i wore for traveling by car XD Anyway some days later i showed up later bec of an appointment and my newfound friends told me later, that when i enterd and passed by all the seats, getting my food i had the attention of all the guys because of my tight dresses ^^ I didnt noticed that because i just wanted food after a long day XD. If she feels sexy and good it doesnt matter if ppl stare and like WhoDat said, you have really good moments too.

Ahh and when its about telling family, friends about you liking bigger girls. Like when you still have the pressure ... try it with i like big boobies, curvy woman big asses. I think most ppl wouldnt think less of you ^---^

[munkki]

I don't think there is a need to "show the public I like larger women". Just be with the girls you like and most likely no-one will blame you. Basically the need is to discuss about the issue with someone and the natural way to do it is to talk with the girl you are with. Do not say that "I love your FAT FAT FAT!", but develop a nice little vocabulary of euphemisms for telling that you like her curves.

[thatguest]

Just do it. I used to be like you when I was in my teens up until my mid 20s. You eventually realise there's no secret to it, no tips that'll make thing 's easier. Be confident in who you are, and don't give a toss what anyone else thinks. Sorry but it's as simple as that. Once you break through that barrier there's no turning back, and you'll be so much happier and at ease with yourself.