WG and Sex Drive

[danger]

I am in a dilemma, my wife has been putting on weight fairly steadily since we first met some 5 years ago now. She has always been body confident and 'pro curves', but has seemed a bit annoyed and surprised when none of her clothes fit her any more! One thing though, is in the bedroom. At 250+ lbs, she has never looked so hot, voluptuous and sexy. Her body feels like warm butter all over. It drives me crazy. But the more weight she has put on, the lower her sex drive. It has come to the point now where she has told me that she no longer has any libido. It has been getting progressively worse, it has been about a year now since we have regular good sex and she never instigates it.

She has asked if we can go to couples sex therapy together, which is great, it shows she wants things to get better. I am just concerned that there is some correlation between weight gain and sex drive. Do (very) big women have a high sex drive? I mean not just body confidence, but chemically. I understood that very fat women have higher body acidity which can reduce libido?

I am also concerend that as she has got bigger and I have stayed the same size, (I am the same height as her), that I make her feel big and not able to handle her. Maybe it is me that I doesn't turn her on any more....?

We love each other dearly, so sex isnt the main driving force in our relationship, it is just a great shame that she is so darn hot and we could be having the best sex of our lives, if only she would want it.

[Brett.Davids]

If she has suggested couples therapy, then perhaps her weight should be the least of your concerns.

Go to therapy and see how that turns out.

It could be that she has put on weight out of frustration or dissatisfaction with some part of her life. Addressing that is far more important.

[scissortooth]

Couples therapy won't give you shit if her hormones are out of balance... Fat women tend to have problems with that, although it's far from certain whether its the wacky hormones that make them fat or the other way round.

My wife had hormonal issues since she hit puberty and she was barely overweight then. Her libido worked normally only for one or two days a month and only only condition that she was regulating her hormones, because when she didn't the libido went down to zero and once we even went without having any sex for like half a year. Later she got some better pills and things went back to her having an appetite for sex for almost half of her cycle, but the pills carried a risk of blood clots so we decided we need to search for alternative. Currently she's on natural progesterone pills and the situation is fine enough, and perhaps will be better since she is now tryimng to find the correct dose together with her gyn-doc.

A good idea would be for her to have a blood test for sex hormones levels during various cycle phases and consult them with her gyn.

[le_gone]

I never made any relation between weight and libido. However I never had very big girl friends but the bigger one, who was like 110 kg (240 lbs) was quite active as regards sexe ! And the one who had the lower libido was quite thin !

As regards my wife, she always had a high libido, higher than mine in fact ! And her weight gain (she gained more than 60 lbs since we met, 5 years ago) didn't really change that, even if it is true that she likes sex in a different way. But she still likes sex especially after too much eating, her belly full !

However, I think that a couple sex therapy could be a good thing for you both.

[Guest high]

It's hormones, and she has to go to a women's doc/gynecologist to get that fixed.

My wife's over 350lbs. and is sex crazy. Not that I'm complaining 

[Voluptuouslover]

My wife seems to have an increased sex drive when she gains weight.  I think for her it has to do with eating to the maximum and indulging in sweets to the maximum and she is submissive and elects to have sex more with only limited initiation by me.  Almost like she lets all inhibitions down and lives the lustful life in all ways when she is eating and gaining.

For me being into weight gain and Fat....My libido goes up with weight gain primarily because of the feeling and the fetish.....so if we have both gained weight our  sexual activity increases by a lot.

[hiro]

Definitely need therapy. She would be having other symptoms if there were a medical issue.

Is she not having any sexual thoughts at all? Does she masturbate?

[danger]

Hi all. Thanks for all your advice and responses. My wife says she has lost all her libido and doesnot even masturbate any more. That said, she has been wearing a copper coil birth control thing, which she said was making her gain weight and also loose her sex drive, caused by copper toxicity. She had it removed two weeks ago, and since I last posted I can safely say things have improved quite remarkebly! Oh how I have missed seeing her gargantuan tits jiggling and rolling about again! I love her dearly.

[Guest An Optimist]

Those IUDs can cause interesting sorts of trouble for some women.

Also, one other thing to keep in mind, thanks to excellent marketing and some corruption, a zillion people are on happy pills now.

Practically all of them screw with the libido. Prozac in fact is so anti-libidinal that they'be been dosing sex predators with it to make them less dangerous.

One girl I met had an interesting side effect from taking such pills. She was horny, regularly tried to get her married, older colleague on whom she had a crush to bed. However, she had a really hard time getting an orgasm, it took ages(20-30 mins) and like 3 hands, 1 penis to get her off.