a self-restrained FA and his foodee wife (comparison pic on Pg.5!)

[scissortooth]

Two days ago, when we were going to the pool, she wore a mid-thigh dress, which she rarely does. I complimented it a lot but assumed it's a one time thing. Yesterday she jumped into a similarly mid-thigh tight mini skirt. And today she wears it again. Obviously, I've been staring at her legs and butt a lot, which she noticed and liked, and when I asked her today whether something changed regarding her attitude towards showing her legs, she said "well, it's summer, it's not like I'm going to be wearing these when it get cold". I asked further whether she feels more confident maybe, because I remember her always making a sour face when I told her I'd love to see it in such shorter skirts and dresses more often. She said: "I guess I did. I saw my legs in that dress on Friday and I thought my legs look pretty good in it, and since I remember how much you love to see me in them and because it's hot it seemed the best choice." I was grinning like Cheshire cat.

Nowadays I hear "I ate too much" from her every other day, followed by belly rubs. Plus, after (or in last trimester of) pregnancy, if it confirms, she wants to go very short with her hair - which is what I'd love to see and considering she has a very quite round and plump face this sounds like she definitely got more confident with her size.

Plus, her last comment after pool, when we were talking: "Since I'm not really going to lose any weight I guess being fat and fit is the best way." I tell you guys, my wife's like almost a different person after she got that accurate treatment... She seems to be ok with being fat, even not so anxious about gaining more and her confidence is at previously unseen levels. And I finally see her smile instead of get uneasy when I ogle her lustily... It's just unbelievable.

[scissortooth]

Hello guys, long time no post. Truth be told, I was not in the mood to post anything because basically the whole of August was a bit shitty period. At the end July my wife went to see the doc again and since the blood test came back with significant improvments - even too significant since some results were reduced from alarmingly high to excessively low - the doc decided to cut the med dose by half and see if it works. But it didn't. Althought things are not as bad as before therapy, my wife's depressive mood returned, together with worse body image, libido donwhill and general touchiness. And this, coupled with some job disturbances for both of us, translated to some unnecessary quarrels and silent days. We're contacting the doc soon to report on those negatives and ask to go back to previous regime because things, as you might remember, were just perfect then.

The good thing is that despite all of this my wife didn't go back to any diet ideas. She mentioned it once or twice during this bad period, but that was the end of it. Actually, since she got a little demotivated because this whole medicinal problems coming back, she was having much less activity lately and since the food remained basically as it was before, I think she might have gained a bit. I have no idea about her weight but she did mention once or twice that "with weight likes she has now it would be best if she cut on eating". Which in the end she didn't do. Visually, I think her face got a little rounder in the last 2 months, her butt started protruding more and her belly got a little bit more of a hang and volume, but I'm not entirely certain. If I ever learn how the situation looks in that department I will definitely mention it!

Anyway, last three days have been quite an improvement because we decided that we need to work out something in case the back to old med regimen didn't bring the improvements we expect. And immediately as the mood between us improved food came back to the table, kind of literally  So, anyway first there was the whole med-sized pizza she had for supper and then we had our wedding anniversary and I invited her to an Indian restaurant. She loves Indian food even more than Italian, so once we got there she got herself a selection that, after eating, made it almost hard to walk because her belly was so full. Washing it down with a bottle of beer didn't help probably ;). But the best thing was that after this later dinner she was calm and happy. Partially from the fact that I organized this whole thing, but I think the beer and the feeling of full belly contributed as well.

Anyway, I hope that once the old med regimen is back she will feel good with herself again and that she will get used to those presumptive new pounds that came... I would love it if she got used to 240 the same way she got used to 230 and 220 before, because that makes 250 on the horizon a very realistic and not as problematic idea ;). And with autumn and winter coming I don't supposed her gain is going to slow down or stop, quite the opposite, especially if her good mood came back.

Keep your fingers crossed, I could use it :).

[scissortooth]

Urgh, that woman of mine is far from predictable :P. I don't know if it's some temporary crisis or sth more but she decided she need to come back to losing weight and best down to 90kg/200 lbs. It might be temporary, especially considering how she said that she wants to lose 10 lbs in 3 weeks. If that happens, I expect a major yoyo, especially since Winter is Coming (tm) ;). If not, I expect some rebound nonetheless. I hope I'm right

[Guest Nerdy Guy]

Got my fingers crossed for you dude. Hopefully things take a turn for the better. 

 

Also so nice game of thrones reference, it made me chortle. 

[finallyfat]

On 9/18/2016 at 1:16 PM, Nerdy Guy said:

Also so nice game of thrones reference, it made me chortle. 

Chortle. Only fat people can chortle. Skinny people can only snicker.

[scissortooth]

Well, the two recent weeks have been like a rollercoaster. Basically, it's all because after our last visit at the doc my wife got the dose of her med reduced by half since the rule of thumb with regard to that med is to provide the lowest efficient dose. Well, that does turned out not to be efficient enough. While some positives remained, the rest, which includes libido, mood, ovulation and stability, among others, went back to the previous condition which was, well negative for her and secondarily to me. But for the last 3 day she has been back on the previous dose and boy, what a difference it is. Her good mood is back and together with it a better self-image. She still is declaring the intent to cut on calories a bit, but for the last 3 days it has been  more and more declarative. First she had 4 slices of bread for supper (we usually have 2-3 and during previous days she had 1 or none), then she wanted ice-cream after dinner (and there was supposed to be a "no sweets" policy) and today not only did she want bigger dinner, but got herself some coffee and chocolates for dessert. Earlier she sad she will have no pizza before she gets below 100 kg (220 lbs), but now it seems it's going the be much sooner and without that condition being met ;).

Actually, after the first two day of that sorta diet, she came and told me she went down from 105 kg to 103. None of us assumed it was anything else than water weight or emptier stomach (well, at least I did for sure) and the first day after coming back to new meds (and having eaten a bit more like usual) she told me it is 105 kg again. So it's official, my wife is still 105 kg / 230 lbs and this is for sure since she checked it at least a few times. Well, at least now I know for sure where she's at :). Despite that weight being lower than her all-time high of 110 kg / 240 lbs she looks plumper and softer than she was back then - like I said before I assume this is because it was water weight then and now it's fat (back then she had swollen ankles, among other other things).

And today there was a pleasant event... We were doing some autumn cleaning at home and when I was going to take out the garbage she came and gave me a whole bag filled with bras, panties and I'm not sure if not some of her clothes. She said: "Take this out. Those are things that I haven't worn even once for at least a year so it's not likely I'll ever wear them again." I'm not sure what exactly was there (couldn't check at home and digging into female underwear next to the dump sounded like a weird idea to me, especially since there were people around), but I recognized at least two of her bras from the time when she wore C cups (wears D/DD now) and some panties too. Obviously, this is not a 100% evidence that she doesn't find going back to lower weight plausible, but it might mean that. Especially considering the fact that last night she had me put my hand on her belly again when falling asleep (I had a ban for that for the last months or so) and today after dinner she pulled her shirt up and let me caress her belly. So the good not-so-old times are back and I'm very happy. And I do hope that bag of old clothes meant that she's not having real plans to lose weight. One can hope

It's worth mentioning that during that bad-mood-time caused by reduced meds we had a sort of fight and then talk when she mentioned that she  sometimes feels she's only "hair and fat" to me (fat for obvious reasons, hair because, to remind you, I also have a hair fetish - as in "I like women changing hairstyles", not "I like women hairy") , although she underlined that this is only sometimes and mostly when she's in a bad mood unrelated to me at first. So I had an occasion to tell her that if it was just that then it wouldn't make sense for me to marry her and we wouldn't be that close and feel like each other's soulmate. This talk came out partially because of this hair fetish of mine, not because of me being an FA, but still it gave me an occasion to prove to her that both these "kinks" of mine are not determining whether our relationship works or not. I told her, among others, that "I really like fantasies of mine coming true, but when they don't it's not like I feel anything is missing in our relationship". She seemed to react well to that and I feel this made her feel more secure and not feeling the way she said before, "fat and hair" only.

So, today I'm throwing out those old clothes and next week she's going to the hairdresser. And yesterday and today she has been constantly going on about how hungry she is . Things are definitely back on the right tracks... Now I only wait for her telling me to order some pizza... Which will probably happen once she'll be close to her lady days, if not earlier. I'd tempt her earlier, but she specifically told me not to earlier, so I don't want to risk spoiling anything :).

 

[scissortooth]

For now things keep on going nicely. For a few days I was unsure about that because she was coming back to the topic of eating her first pizza only after she goes down below 100 kilos, referring to how much calories such a pizza has and so on. I kind of knew that if the diet topic is to go away then this undertaking has to go. Fortunately, one day in the evening she had a rather intense craving so I was only waiting for the topic to pop up. She kept saying how hungry she is and that she'd really love something carb-intense. I told her that I would offer something but I'm not allowed to speak about it, with a wink. She looked at me and asked me if I'd like to order it too and I said says. So, an hour later we had a big pizza and her favourite thick garlic dip delivered. And, as if by magic, the diet topic stopped appearing. Then we had a party where she baked two cakes and snacked a lot on the ingredients meanwhile and during the party itself she wasn't avoiding what was on the table either. Additionally, her belly is open again to rubs and squeezes both when we go to sleep and during the day, without complaints and it actually looks as if she was enjoying it, also because it keeps her warmer now that colder days have come).

Actually, I think there was one evening, one day after the pizza, where she had some kind of internal struggle. In the evening she was quieter and more "away" than usual, also as if a bit irritated, and later in bed she got closer to me, bodies touching, and put my hand on her belly and apologized for that.

I think this is related to the conversation that we had a few days earlier, even before the pizza, when there was something on TV about guys who wanted their wives to lose weight very much. She said something negative about it, I mean, about those guys and what they wanted, so I remarked that it's definitely not something she would ever have to worry about. She replied "yeah, you definitely give me no motivation to lose weight liking me the way I am". "But that's ok, right?" I asked. She replied, a little irritated: "You know, I don't know actually, maybe it isn't. I mean, I could lose some weight but it's hard for me to find motivation with how I like eating good food. And you're not helping." So I asked in reply: "So what, you'd actually prefer me to bash you for your looks and telling you to lose weight?". She said "I don't know, maybe it would be a good thing." To be honest that threw me off balance a little and I guess she could feel it. And it's not like I felt that some weight gain fantasy of mine is going away and that made me feel bad. I just failed to comprehend how any woman can actually prefer her guy not to find her sexy the way she is. Because while I do fantasize about her getting bigger, it's not like I feel she is missing anything now. And, besides, she knew how I am from the very beginning. Actually, the fact that I declared from the very beginning that I like big girls and I'm definitely never going to tell her to lose weight was one of the reasons we started hanging out because her previous boyfriend pushed her a lot towards it. So I felt a little bit wronged knowing that she "chose" me because of my attitude and now she was frankly telling me that she'd prefer it to be the other way round. I was close to telling her that she was well aware of my attitude when we got together and she didn't mind it back then, but I'm glad I just kept my mouth shut since it would bring nothing good. Sometimes it's better to hold your breath and count to 10.

Anyway, like I said, she is back to her "best attitude". I mean, she's not suddenly gorging on food or anything (which would be fun, but it's not my main focus) but I can feel she allows herself to feel attractive and that definitely takes away a lot of limitations. Like, for that party I mentioned she wore a very body-hugging dress, and during the "bad" period she rather stuck to more loose-fitting clothing. And she is talking about food at least a few times a day, saying how she'd love to stuff her belly with this or that. And the nice thing is that she is happy when I tell her I'll take her for all of that and rub her belly afterwards if she feels like it. You know, having a fat wife is nice, but having a happy fat wife is the really great stuff.

[shady-j]

I'm pretty sure she's fully aware that her losing weight would make you disappointed, and she's not sure it's a good thing. Which it isn't, but that's okay.

[scissortooth]

On 3.10.2016 at 6:42 PM, shady-j said:

I'm pretty sure she's fully aware that her losing weight would make you disappointed, and she's not sure it's a good thing. Which it isn't, but that's okay.

Well, you see, here's the thing. While her losing weight would be a bit of a disappointment, it's something that doesn't bother me to the point where I'm unable to conceal it. But when I hear that she'd prefer me to want her to lose weight, the problem is that it's something totally opposite of what she wanted from our relationship. It's as if you got married with assumption that both of you want to have kids and then suddenly you learn that your SO hates kids. Or the other way round. I can make a poker face, I can say it's alright, but if you know me like she does it will be pretty easy to see the disappointment. And what makes it worse is the fact that she really is at her happiest and most relaxed when she doesn't care that much about whether she gained a pound or two or whether the dinner was not 500 kcal too big. The truth is she loves food and she is able to feel sexy when being fat. I know it because that's how it is like 75% of the time. Which is the bright side of it. Basically all the times when she feels "too fat" are the same times where she is in depressive mood and when her hormonal problems kick in. Right now she came back to the meds dosage that worked and not only her mood is better but also her physical condition is much better. Now she has better appetite, wants me to spoil her a bit once a while, is cheerful, motivated and feels happy.

You see, I know what it's like because I also had depressive problems and the shadow of them is also coming back sometimes. Funny thing is that whenever it does, skinny/normal girls suddenly become more attractive in my eyes. But my libido is dead then and I can barely do anything besides doing the daily grind and then escaping into playing games on my PC. I hate that time. Fortunately, it's a few weeks a year at most. And it's not who I am. Or at least it's not who I want to be. And I think it's the same with her. Her true self is a foodee. Definitely not a woman who'd want go gain, but one that it willing to accept getting bigger as a consequence of fulfilling her need and able to feel sexy with it. And she prefers that "version" of herself too.

[scissortooth]

Well, things haven't changed much recently. Technically last time she checked she was 104-105 kg (228-230 lbs) and I doubt this changed a lot, although from that time although she hasn't been eating in excess, she is far less active during the day (Autumn has its impact) and she basically always adds a teaspoon of honey or some syrup to every cup of tea she has (and she has 5-6 a day easily), plus has a chocolate candy or two every day. When we had sex yesterday I was pretty sure that her belly has grown a bit so maybe all this laziness and sweet teas and candies have resulted in some extra storage... Other than that, things are very good. She is happy, doesn't really do anything to lose and enjoys my looks whenever I ogle her naked. I'm going to do my best to stimulate her appetite

[extra_m13]

if the weight number doesnt go down it should be considered a win, because a gain might be coming!

[scissortooth]

On 8.11.2016 at 0:25 AM, extra_m13 said:

if the weight number doesnt go down it should be considered a win, because a gain might be coming!

Haha yeah, that's the optimistic way of looking and that's how I try to look at it too ;). The bad thing is she put a self-imposed ban on pizza, or at least ordering it because we sometimes do our own at home. And she often cuts on supper a bit... Obviously, she is not losing, but it also doesn't seem as if she was going to be gaining anytime soon. Which is not bad, although, like most of you guys here, I like the most when the movement is upwards, even if slow :D.

The good thing is she definitely doesn't feel unattractive in her body and jokes about her size all the time. Basically she really has no good reason to lose now, and that's probably why she doesn't

[extra_m13]

then you are in a great spot, with the holidays coming, youre on the winning side. im feeling lucky as well. good time to be alive !

[scissortooth]

Most guys hate their ladies' periods... But I'm getting in love with those of my wife's  Sure, it's no sex for several days, but her appetite is skyrocketing then and recently her mood on that days stays alright - she's not any worse than than I am when I have a slight headache. She ditched any weight loss ideas she got before, so it's all really good. And yeah, you're right extra_m13, holidays aren't going to make her appetite or calorie count any smaller. Quite the opposite since she  loves the food of that period so she might need a lot of belly rubs!

[scissortooth]

Well, it's official, she started actually enjoying me caressing her belly (and not only after meal). I'm not sure if it's in a direct way or in an indirect one (meaning "seeing how horny he gets when i let him do it make me like it/feel horny too"), but the practice is the same. I do it, she smiles. On three occasions I was grabbing her belly and her rolls when she was cowgirling me, twice she started rubbing her belly together with me and once she actually pushed my hands down from her breasts to her belly. No diet talk, no complaining about being big and she actually seems to enjoy all the times when I look at her fat bits lustily. And she jokes more and more often about her eating, being fat, me feeding her, and so on... And in a much more positive way than before (earlier it was often very self-deprecating). Oh, and she is more tolerant towards body-hugging clothes. I'm wondering whether she actually gained and how much, but she either doesn't check it at all or doesn't tell me. Well, I can live with that, as long as I see she didn't lose anything and perhaps even gained :D.

[Guest rabb]

I originally typed out something along the lines of "you lucky bastard", but I feel like that's selling short the amount of effort the two of you have both put in towards getting to this point. Sounds like you two have something pretty special

[scissortooth]

Truth be told all of it probably wouldn't be possible without those meds she's been taking since spring... I mean, we were doing fine prior to them, with an occasional hurdle, but what I have now is pure heaven. Imagine your lady being her finest self 50 percent of the time and then switch that to 95 percent. That's what fixing overactive adrenals does... 

[scissortooth]

Haha well here's another piece of her good mood that deserves a mention.

Yesterday she mentioned she'd like me to take her to the new pizza parlor they opened downtown. On their FB page they posted this picture (not of their place obviously, but still):

...and it made my wife laugh. So today I told her I'm taking her there and we take advantage of their 3 for 2 offer. She was delighted to hear that and I told her, in reference: "You know, I have to make sure no one kidnaps my lovely wife". She made a face, jokingly, and said "You are cruel!" and then gave me a kiss. The extra bonus? A few days ago she told me that in order for her to dress sexy and do some nice makeup the way I like it I need to take her on a date (which is a fair deal as far as I'm concerned ;)). Well, as you can image, this is a model example of the kind of dates this means, maybe just paired with cinema afterwards. My next plan is exactly that, namely, take her to Pizza Hut (she loves the thick pan dough there) and then to cinema. And then fuck her brains out once we get back home, obviously, testing where the previous pizza went ;).

[scissortooth]

For the last few days she was snacking on sweets between meals and boy, did that made her hungry. She's a smart girl, though, so she added 1 to 1 and decided to cut on that habit. Fortunately, it doesn't change much since her meals are they same as they were. Plus, I assume she might take an occasional sweet anyway sometimes.

On a side note, when buying clothes she told me her hip size is now 125 cm (49"). Which is surprising since her biggest ever was 122 cm (48"). Either her fat "deposits" shifted a little, or she's back to 110 kilos (242 lbs) or even more!

Today morning when we were trying to wake our mind up I started caressing her, in spoon position, and I'm pretty sure I've never had that much of her belly to hold before! Unless it's some morning enthusiasm of mine, that is. But with the way she has been eating for the last 2 months I wouldn't be surprised if she gained. And, better still, she shows no signs of wanting to curb it. That thing with sweet was the only one and it was not because of her getting fat but simply because she felt she gets sugar spikes because the those sweets and then she is angry when hungry (it sounds better than it truly is like, it's very easy for her to get really made then for no reason, which leads to senseless arguments).

For example, today's dinner is tagliatelle with mascarpone cheese and Schwarzwald ham. Oh, yeah, and olive oil of course and grated parmesan. Not really low on calories, this one. And it will be very likely followed by a dessert, since we have cake from her parents in the fridge. Obviously, her portions are always somewhat bigger than mine ;).

Here's my Christmas wish - at least 250 lbs on the first day of spring and for her weight never to go back under this number again.

[extra_m13]

those are fantastic news, im happy for you. nothing more exciting than the wife gaining peacefully ! thanks for sharing. 

[scissortooth]

Yesterday evening. We just got back from her parent's house where we had Christmas dinner. Big one. I couldn't even think about food and decided I'll let supper go definitely. Wife says she'll do the same.

2 hours later, I'm still feeling full, to say the least. Wife says: "you know, I'm getting hungry, can you make me a sandwich?". Sure, I say. "Or you know what, maybe two." Ok, honey, I say smiling. She says she wants them witch cheese and mayo. Then tells me to add ham too. I spread plenty of butter, place ham and cheese and spread even more mayo. Those are two serious sandwiches. She eats them and doesn't even feel full again. And I got full again by just looking at these sandwiches  

Today morning. I'm still barely interested in food. She asks me if we should have cake or sandwiches for breakfast. I say let's have cake if we're planning to eat any dinner later (we're going to her parents for dinner again). So we eat cake. I'm full again. An hour passes and she says she's hungry again.

That wish of mine in the previous post is closer to fulfilment than ever I guess  

[shady-j]

Honestly at this point just go ham, no pun intended. Keep giving her food even when she doesn't ask for it.

[scissortooth]

11 hours ago, shady-j said:

Honestly at this point just go ham, no pun intended. Keep giving her food even when she doesn't ask for it.

Nah, that would most likely go too far. I tried that by bringing her some sweets to have around but she just put them away. With her what works best is to give her more of what she asks for - it's like yesterday's supper - she wanted 2 sandwiches. I told her I'm making myself 3 thin ones - and with cold cuts only because we got a lot of those from our parents. And hearing that, she said she wants 3 too. So, in the end, I had three thin slices of bread with a tiny layer of butter and a thin slice of smoked ham on each, while she had three thick slices of bread, with much thicker layer of butter, 2 thin and little ham slices (she's not a big fan of meat), 2 thick slices of cheese and thick layer of mayo on each. I'd assume she had at least twice as many calories in it as I did, if not more, while having the impression that we had a similar amount of food.

Plus, she's back to drinking tea with syrup and occasional sweets (mostly between meals which only makes her more hungry more often). After dinner today I had to give her a belly rub (although today the dinner was relatively small, soups only, but they were filling) and I'm 100% sure her lowest belly roll is significantly thicker.

I think she knows she gained because she's constantly referring to it self-mockingly. Like, today there was something in the TV about New Year resolutions, in the context of losing weight, and she said that if she was to pick one resolution that she's sure she would fulfill it would be "gain another 5 kilos". I only smiled hearing that. She was also surprised when she wore her high boots and they didn't feel tight. She commented on that with something like "I guess all that food had to accumulate elsewhere". Meanwhile, she's not talking about diets at all and shows no signs of wanting to reduce her "intake". Not a single word of cutting it next year or now after Xmas. If anything, she keeps mentioning being hungry and having appetite for various things. Oh, yeah, I forgot. She drinks a "metabolism speeding" tea, although, according to what she told her mom, she drinks that to speed up digestion.

For a moment I was thinking that it's some early pregnancy stuff but then she got a period, so no. Geez, I can barely imagine what her appetite is going to be like once I actually get her pregnant. Truth be told, I once had this kind of idea/fantasy that it would be lovely if she hit 115 kg (255 lbs) and then got pregnant and ended up 136 kg (300 lbs) post-delivery with perhaps some extra gained when breastfeeding that would make sure she stays solidly over 300 lbs. 20 kilos in 9 months might be a lot, though, but from what I read online it's a relatively common thing for a woman to gain this much (not including baby weight) in pregnancy and women who are fat to start with have a greater tendency to keep all of that later.

[evilgambrinus]

breastfeeding has serious weight loss features implemented...

[scissortooth]

Only if you feed more than you eat, from what I heard. And I heard it can give a new mom one hell of an appetite