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Online Dating: "Bigger in person?"


CBMH

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So a while back I heard some obnoxious morning talk radio host talking about bad Tinder dates. One of his callers said that when his date showed up, she was 70 pounds heavier in person than in her profile, and how that was a dealbreaker for him. My first thought would have been "Jackpot!" and my second thought would probably have been "second date: buffet."

But it got me thinking: in my experience with online dating sites, the ladies I've met have frequently been heavier than they appeared in their profile photos. Part of this is obviously because these ladies think being fat is a downside and try to minimize/hide it, and in other cases the photos may be outdated (how often do you update yours?). Rarely do I see a profile of a lady who is unapologetically large and owns it. It may be due to my own preferences, but it seems like the majority of women on dating sites are overweight and billing themselves as "a little extra" or the like.

Does anyone else have any experience in this vein? Are larger women who don't take pride in being large more likely to turn to online dating? Do "BBW and proud" women even bother with non-plus-size-centric dating sites?

 

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Generally the girls I've met with off of Tinder have been bigger and with admittedly limited experience it's been pretty clear from their pics. None of them have seemed to hide it and a few of them have mentioned body positivity in their bios. That might be my own self-selection though; I'm more likely to chat up a girl who doesn't seem insecure.

I did have one nice "bigger in person" experience though. Talked to a girl who looked a decent bit out of my preferred range, but she had a very pretty face and we hit it off, so we set up a date. She ended up being quite pudgy, very chubby below the waist, maybe 150-160 on a 5'2" frame. She also had really large and soft upper arms, the type you'd expect to see on someone much bigger. Her Tinder pics were recent grabs from Instagram, so not outdated; I think she was able to hide her true size with a thin face and shots above the waist in long-sleeves.

I was doubly surprised later when things got physical and she was even more pliable than I expected. I could tell she had no muscle beneath, just a naturally thin frame that she'd packed quite a bit of fat onto. 

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Guest pangzi
19 hours ago, CBMH said:

So a while back I heard some obnoxious morning talk radio host talking about bad Tinder dates.

All of this actually gets me a little excited about online dating.  I've never tried it before, but I'm getting out of a relationship soon and will be giving it a go.  I've already started to do a little skimming/exploring.  Admittedly, it does seem that the majority of girls on dating apps/websites are at least a little chubby.

Most telling are the female body type options on Match.com.  Women may choose from either "Slender," "Athletic and toned," and "About average," or the may self-describe as "Big and beautiful," "Curvy," "Full-figured," "Heavyset," "A few extra pounds," and "Stocky."  On top of this, it seems that the great majority of women who describe themselves as "About average" are at least a little overweight, which is in reality, an accurate description of "About average."  So, essentially, women on Match.com choose whether they're skinny, athletic, "average," or one of six flavors of fat.  With 6.5 out of 9 options equating to either overweight or obese, choosing body type is more a matter of their perception and self-esteem than it is an accurate description of their physical appearance.

I have a friend who frequently complains about online dating.  One of his few requirements in a girl is that she weigh less than him.  Considering how skinny my friend is, that gives him a rather small pool to choose from.  When I tell him that I, conversely, prefer that a girl weigh more than me, he gets jealous for how many options that gives me.

All of my life, I've really only been with thinner girls, girls who I, when it comes down to it, am just not that physically attracted to.  I focused on the personality and character, but have since learned that physical attraction is much more important to a relationship than I realized.  Now, I'm really excited about dating women who actually turn me on in more than just an intellectual/emotional sense.  It's really kind of silly that, despite the majority of women being of body type I find attractive, I've ended up with the skinny ones who just don't do it for me.  Anyhow, I'm super pleased that there are so many chubby and fat girls available today.

And yeah, I have to admit, a "Bigger in person" encounter would be quite a turn on...  Just thinking about her awkwardly explaining how she's gained a lot of weight...  :)

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I once went on a date  with a woman who looked plump in her pictures -maybe around 190lbs mark - and when we met up she was around 280lbs. I thought most men would be super pissed off but I was delighted!

Another time I met a girl who listed her body size as average but and all her pics were face shots so I thought she might be just a little soft - she turns up and she is about 230lbs.

Each time I was pleasantly surprised but I cant help think that it must end terribly if they do that to certain types of guys.

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  • 4 weeks later...

This happens all the time even in BBw centric dating sites. Most women post pictures of themselves where they think they look good, those tend to be older or skinnier versions of themselves.

I think almost every single online date I went to the girl showed up way bigger than how she looked in the pictures. Usually if there aren't a lot of body shots that's a tell tale sign.

The best was this one girl from ff that just had some mirror shots up to her bust. Big rack and all that, but looked a bit on the average side, kind of skinny looking face. I pull up to the date and then see her coming out of her house and literally waddle over to the car. Big rack and kind of a skinny looking face, but everything else was enormous - huge puffy arms, belly hanging, rolls on her sides, love handles, thick thighs swishing together. She got in the car and her thighs spilled out over the center console. Admittedly that was ff, so I should have expected that, but I had similar experiences on other average dating sites too. Usually the flattering pictures are at least a couple of years old.

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Lack of body shots and at least one picture with cleavage are the signs I notice most. Since big girls tend to have big chests, most of them can produce at least one good "cleavage selfie" even if they're pear-shaped overall. Also, the "MySpace angle" (camera held overhead and at an angle; face looking upward and upper torso visible) is actually a trick to make a girl look thinner (since she's looking up, no double chin; boobs conceal the lower torso), so a girl who's still using that as her profile pic in 2016 is either trying to hide some chub or still thinks that pic from 2005 is her best photo. (Could be both.)

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