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Learning to love my curves


Saralizzy29

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Growing up I always heard to be pretty/beautiful/desired/etc...you had to be a small girl. You're supposed to be short with a small waist. I have never been a small girl and was always one of the tallest in my class until high school when they guys finally hit their growth spurts. I'm a girl that loves to eat, but was never one to eat around people because of the looks you'd get from all the smaller girls. Wasn't one to get noticed like the other girls either because that's not the type of girl a guy was supposed to like. Growing up there weren't very many cute clothes for bigger girls either, you had to dress like an old lady and trust me, there wasn't anything flattering about them. And people wonder why it's hard to be confident as a big girl. You try to starve yourself and try any diet fad to get to the size you think you'really supposed to be, but it doesn't always work. It never did for me, either I couldn't stick with the diet or I wasn't getting the results.

 It wasn't until a couple of years ago I finally started to find clothing that was for bigger sizes that actually looked half way decent. It was also about the time I quit being so hard on myself and learned to accept my curves. I'll be honest I'm not always happy with them, but I've learned there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a big girl and not everyone is as closed minded as they were, or I thought they were. 

Then I met a feller who loved my curves and showed me there were lots of others that liked curves as well, encouraging me to come into this community and see for myself. I've learned a lot and I'm grateful to have found a place that shows it's pretty damn nice to be a curvy girl and you don't have to be thin to be pretty. This is my first post since I have joined, I have been reading others posts and I have enjoyed seeing what this community has to offer.

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Welcome to the kool kids club (I use the k on cool for maximum edgy). The cruel thing about body weight is it's almost completely genetic. Many people are just born with bodies that produce excess fat, and no amount of exercise or dieting will fix that. The worst thing is when people get called lazy because of something they can't control. :o

My very best friend in all the world is in a similar situation right now. She is very uncomfortable with her weight and it causes her great anxiety. The great irony of course is that I find her extremely attractive, and I've always felt guilty about it. We were each-other's only friends through high school, and I felt if I told her about my deviance it would make our friendship feel shallow or sexually motivated. I decided it was best to not touch the subject.

Glad you're in a place where you can feel confident and pretty; everyone deserves that opportunity.

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10 minutes ago, Ikkarix said:

Welcome to the kool kids club (I use the k on cool for maximum edgy). The cruel thing about body weight is it's almost completely genetic. Many people are just born with bodies that produce excess fat, and no amount of exercise or dieting will fix that. The worst thing is when people get called lazy because of something they can't control. :o

My very best friend in all the world is in a similar situation right now. She is very uncomfortable with her weight and it causes her great anxiety. The great irony of course is that I find her extremely attractive, and I've always felt guilty about it. We were each-other's only friends through high school, and I felt if I told her about my deviance it would make our friendship feel shallow or sexually motivated. I decided it was best to not touch the subject.

Glad you're in a place where you can feel confident and pretty; everyone deserves that opportunity.

Exactly. Everyone is different and it's definitely better thathan way. It would be.completely boring if everyone looked/acted/and did everything the same and liked the same things as everyone else. As long as you realize that you're awesome being yourself that's all that should matter, not what others think, but sometimes it's hard not to listen to the negativity that surrounds us. 

I hope that your friend finds a way to become more comfortable in her own skin. It's definitely a challenge but it's worth it in the end and i'm sure she's glad to have you as a friend. And as for not telling her, we'll all I can say is you can't let fear get in the way. It has a way of keeping us from being truly happy...something else I have had to learn with being more confident with my body type. I honestly don't think that's something to feel guilty for. You just know what you like. Sometimes it's not always easiest to tell the ones we are closest to how we feel because of what it could change. It's never really worked out for me telling how I feel towards someone but it's helped me deal with my fear issues somewhat.

Thank you for your kind words and I hope your friend finds her confidence as well. And I hope you are doing well also :)

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15 minutes ago, Saralizzy29 said:

Exactly. Everyone is different and it's definitely better thathan way. It would be.completely boring if everyone looked/acted/and did everything the same and liked the same things as everyone else. As long as you realize that you're awesome being yourself that's all that should matter, not what others think, but sometimes it's hard not to listen to the negativity that surrounds us. 

I hope that your friend finds a way to become more comfortable in her own skin. It's definitely a challenge but it's worth it in the end and i'm sure she's glad to have you as a friend. And as for not telling her, we'll all I can say is you can't let fear get in the way. It has a way of keeping us from being truly happy...something else I have had to learn with being more confident with my body type. I honestly don't think that's something to feel guilty for. You just know what you like. Sometimes it's not always easiest to tell the ones we are closest to how we feel because of what it could change. It's never really worked out for me telling how I feel towards someone but it's helped me deal with my fear issues somewhat.

Thank you for your kind words and I hope your friend finds her confidence as well. And I hope you are doing well also :)

I don't know... I feel the time has passed. I did actually try dating her but it got to a point where I felt like I was forcing it because she obviously wasn't comfortable with it. It's probably for the best in the end.

I was never able to connect with her. She is very closed off, and she never wanted to talk about anything. My attempts at heartfelt discussion with her often ended in her having a panic attack. It didn't help that I was going through the most teenager-y phase possible, god I was awful. I often turned to her to unload my emotion burdens, and it was just too much for her. I just didn't have a spine. I'm pretty sure she's asexual or something similar too, because she just didn't seem to understand attraction. She could see things as cute or romantic, but the concept of sexual drive seemed foreign to her (or she was being closed up on the subject, can't tell for sure).

College has helped me develop a sense of identity however, and our relationship has settled on something that's at least not unhealthy. She's dating someone else too. We don't get to see each other much anymore, because of college. I've even asked a girl out here at my college, but it's not going to work. Always hard to dump someone though. :/

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42 minutes ago, Ikkarix said:

I don't know... I feel the time has passed. I did actually try dating her but it got to a point where I felt like I was forcing it because she obviously wasn't comfortable with it. It's probably for the best in the end.

I was never able to connect with her. She is very closed off, and she never wanted to talk about anything. My attempts at heartfelt discussion with her often ended in her having a panic attack. It didn't help that I was going through the most teenager-y phase possible, god I was awful. I often turned to her to unload my emotion burdens, and it was just too much for her. I just didn't have a spine. I'm pretty sure she's asexual or something similar too, because she just didn't seem to understand attraction. She could see things as cute or romantic, but the concept of sexual drive seemed foreign to her (or she was being closed up on the subject, can't tell for sure).

College has helped me develop a sense of identity however, and our relationship has settled on something that's at least not unhealthy. She's dating someone else too. We don't get to see each other much anymore, because of college. I've even asked a girl out here at my college, but it's not going to work. Always hard to dump someone though. :/

Yeah sometimes some things just aren't meant to be. It all works out as it should in the end, at least that's what I keep telling myself :) live and learn and try something else. it's always hardest when we want something to work out so bad and in the end it just doesn't. But we finally figured it all out eventually. And best to be upfront about how you feel rather than not. Truth hurts but it's better than not telling it or saying nothing at all. 

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4 minutes ago, Saralizzy29 said:

Yeah sometimes some things just aren't meant to be. It all works out as it should in the end, at least that's what I keep telling myself :) live and learn and try something else. it's always hardest when we want something to work out so bad and in the end it just doesn't. But we finally figured it all out eventually. And best to be upfront about how you feel rather than not. Truth hurts but it's better than not telling it or saying nothing at all. 

Well either you figure it out or you die trying. :P

 

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