Are we all just extremely sick? (trigger warnings)

[Avataг]

1 hour ago, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

[...] I don't know it you're being sarcastic or just trolling [...]

Hard to tell, sometimes... Taking a deeper approach like you did by opening this thread can and will backfire at some point, but I think that these open minded statements give us and this forum a more human touch. What good are we by defining us as some unmoralistic wankers? Don't want this to be put on my gravestone...

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

6 minutes ago, Avatar4711 said:

Hard to tell, sometimes...

Oh, believe you me....I know now.  Reread my last two posts, please. 

[Avataг]

35 minutes ago, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

[...] Reread my last two posts, please. 

No. I never look back.

[KFD]

@pacoonzie, play by the rules. That's all I ask.

@Jabba Desilijic Tiure, likewise. Don't be shocked if this flatspins, and I have to abyss the ensuing tangent.

[pacoonzie]

Wow, out of all the responses I thought I'd get when I cringingly remembered my post this afternoon, getting accused of being BBBXL's ex-husband was low on the list.

Uh, I'm a college student in the Midwest. Responding to what you originally said:

9 hours ago, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

@pacoonzie  I don't know it you're being sarcastic or just trolling, but I'm deeply sorry if I offended you.  I wasn't trying to be overly-judgmental with this thread, but I can definitely understand if and why you felt bothered by my words.  Admittedly, it's a very sensitive subject; perhaps turf which I shouldn't have tread upon.  I honestly wasn't trying to rustle your or anyone's jimmies, but you certainly have the right to feel that way.  My intent was to open an honest and candid dialogue about something that I wasn't entirely sure about myself, in order to help me and others attain a better grasp of what drives our mutually-bonding preferences/fetish.  My last desire was for anyone to feel victimized by my writings and again, I offer you my most sincere of apologies if that is how you felt.  Peace, dude.

Neither sarcastic, nor trolling, nor offended. I was basically channeling drunken Alexander Portnoy in that post – guilty and self-loathing about coming back here and inebriated enough to think that my stream-of-consciousness writing looked good on the page. Exclusively self-judgment, already swirling around in my head, that your thread spurred me to post. If I hadn't seen it, I likely would've vented to a friend instead, hopefully with much less grandiose language.

My intent in turn was to continue your honest and candid dialogue with my own feelings about this mutual-bonding. Apologies of my own for making you think I was targeting you, or derailing a serious discussion. I'll respond to some of your OP's questions without the overt emotion that characterized my original answer.

On 6/29/2017 at 1:27 PM, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

Are we actively choosing to turn the other way when it comes to the harsh realities of what we're doing here? 

I often am, yes.

On 6/29/2017 at 1:27 PM, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

Where does this all come from?  Does it emerge from an underlying hatred of women and/or men?  Do we want to see our so-called love ones or online strangers suffer in the most perverse and sadistic manners possible?? 

I don't know. I wish I did. Trying not to sound like an edgelord here – probably too late for that – but though I don't think I have a special dislike of women, I think it's apparent that I'm generally pretty pessimistic.

I've never been close enough to someone romantically to know whether my extreme sexuality is still present with love, but as for online strangers, I would say that my finding erotic appeal in, say, a woman so fat that she becomes out of breath during activities that shouldn't make women out of breath, clearly marks me as a sexual sadist.

On 6/29/2017 at 1:27 PM, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

Are we all deluding ourselves when we just proclaim that it's only a matter of taste, i.e. one person's Van Gogh to another's Picasso?

Again changing the plural pronoun to singular, if I were to extend the analogy further, I'd say I'm ignoring the Bernini and bidding on a fucking Wes Naman.  

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

Damn...I've never heard such loud "silence" in my entire life.  

[pacoonzie]

17 hours ago, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

Damn...I've never heard such loud "silence" in my entire life.  

Sorry for taking my finger off of the pulse of Curvage for 48 hours. I'll strive to meet your standards of community engagement in the future.

inb4 accusation of using the Minnesota node of my web of malicious troll contacts to mail me a newspaper so I can continue my reign of terror against you undiscovered

[KFD]

@pacoonzie and @Jabba Desilijic Tiure:

 

And

 

 

[Guest grateful]

On 7/5/2017 at 4:54 PM, Handel said:

You are all some serious boner killers.

If it was really that bad, there would be a law against it. Plain and simple.

 

I'm from California. I think it's only a matter of time before they tax and prosecute feeders.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

54 minutes ago, KFD said:

@pacoonzie and @Jabba Desilijic Tiure:

 

And

 

 

@KFD I'll now have to ask you verbatim what the man-child posing as Jonda Bovine asked you some years ago: How do you block someone?  I've been poking around in the user settings and can't find anything.  A lot of users seem to have wondered this from time to time....perhaps @SJ707 could modify the UI to make the function more accessible?  Or is it hard-encoded into the ubb software and would require lots of labor and coding modifications to achieve?  Maybe you could just "block" @pacoonzie for me us(if you catch my drift)?

[Guest grateful]

I applaud your introspection Jabba and your willingness to share it. I think nearly all of us can identify with some of these points.

I have had a life long obsession with girls gaining and the temptation to help that process.

The real pain for me is when it involves a SO, otherwise people can gain gain and loose all day and I don't care as much.

Knowing this truth has kept me out of a lot of relationships because I know "what happens next" and I do not want to make myself or another crazy.

I am grateful for all the sharing that goes on on line, especially the girls who are so generous with their images.

I have seen that as an opportunity to explore my proclivities with mixed results.

I do not believe it has lead to any insight or life skill in RL.

I don't know if any of this is can be solved by us as a limited individual as I think there is a blind spot created by our genetics and our sub conscious.

I have taken to asking for some insight on the matter from whatever wisdom there is out there.

Rather than hold it separate and other than my relationship with everything, I attempt to include it.

Maybe I will understand some day. Maybe I will be "healed" of this. Maybe I will be with a "destiny partner" and we will be compelled to fulfill whatever this is.

The bottom line is: I see such a broad inclusive pattern among all of us concerning these issues, that I think most of us are off the hook on our behaviors as they are mechanical and go deep.

However, I do believe that suppression, not repression may be in order at times and we should always be sensitive to others' needs.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

@grateful Thank you so much for your kind words, and I totally agree with a lot of it!  So refreshing to see someone with a polite and introspective attitude who can relay their feelings so eloquently.  Glad you saved this thread from being permanently derailed, btw.  This forum totally needs more members like yourself.

As for me, I've had many girlfriends over the years, and now I only resort to BBW dating sites because introducing any "regular" girl to the world of even passive feederism can be like walking through a minefield.  I once told my pearshaped ex that maybe she could "further enhance her curves just wee bit"(exact words of mine), and she flipped, and I mean totally FLIPPED, going into complete and udder "rage mode".  I mean I know, she had dealt with a lot of my macho-man verbally abusive shit in the past and tendency to say some very racist and homophobic things whenever I was feeling especially down and out about my own personal lack of achievement, but fortunately I had the crazy broad arrested on domestic assault charges.  Always thought of myself as a strapping alpha male, but who knew that a 5'4" woman could be so powerful when provoked?  I guess she just used her immense weight to her own advantage.  I obviously can handle any other woman otherwise, without calling the cops like a p*ssy.  At least her teary-eyed mugshot gave me some tangential comfort, but I don't want to ever go back to that shit again where a lady actually has the ability to stand up for herself, after refusing to endure repeated and relentless psychological beatings and mental torture.

But that's just me!

As for gaining in general, when a woman knows what she is getting into, understands the risks involved, and she and her partner have a mutual affinity for it as well as a number of predefined hard cut-off limits that can, over time, be adjusted accordingly(in addition to both he and she of course being somewhat reasonable and rational individuals), then I'd be very hard pressed to argue against anyone saying "no harm, no foul".

[Cottonsox]

Well personally I'd never like someone to gain till they are truly putting their health at risk. I would call myself a feeder as I find the act of feeding a woman or watching her eat erotic but I like my women "chubby" preferably at that delicious edge in between curvy and chubby like a "soft curvy" so I would not say I personally would ever encourage morbid obesity or be attracted to it. Also I've never really been into insulting or taunting my sexual partners about how fat they are getting so I would not say my fetish stems from any sort of hatred of the opposite sex, in fact I am more comfortable when I can worship or appreciate a woman's body instead of degrading it. I think in truth my sexual preference is just a very old one where men preferred women had enough fat for child birth even in hard times and the desire to indulge her in times of plenty ( which is all the time now but would have been a very seasonal thing for most of human history)

[pin-up goblin]

Interesting topic. Always wondered why most of you are obsessed with women gaining, like there could be fat chicks right in front of you, but you need to see them fatter. I'm baffled but that is not my thing. I'm super accepting of what women look like because I can see the beauty in all women. Men...nope. I have a very specific type so I can understand wanting your type. 🤔

 

Nice read. Oh and if you just like watching someone eat, consider a vegan diet. You can eat a shit ton of food and be healthy. It's really sugar, processed foods and artificial crap that is causing people to be unhealthy. 

[riptoryx]

15 hours ago, pin-up goblin said:

Always wondered why most of you are obsessed with women gaining, like there could be fat chicks right in front of you, but you need to see them fatter. I'm baffled but that is not my thing.

If you are curious enough to dive deeper, and haven't already seen it during your lengthy Curvage tenure, I think the discussion in the thread linked below addresses this particular question, as to myself and apparently at least a few others.

 

[pin-up goblin]

6 hours ago, riptoryx said:

If you are curious enough to dive deeper, and haven't already seen it during your lengthy Curvage tenure, I think the discussion in the thread linked below addresses this particular question, as to myself and apparently at least a few others.

 

Thanks! I am going to give it a read. 😊

[Guest trolo]

Thanks Jabba for this thread. I always asked myself whether I am sort of 'sick' due to the FA fetish. This was even enhanced because my friends and family are really anti-fat people especially women ( I grew up in a rich and 'privileged' neighbourhood where every child was raised super sporty and fit).

Years later I came to the conclusion that liking fat women is totally fine. But the thing here is that most FAs usually fap to SSBBWs but would never date them because people look a lot different in real life and they'd loose the interest immediately (see this as an ad for my new forum discussion  ). In my mind, the real problem is the indirect feeding. Indirect because most people do not feed them in real life but they watch SSBBW related videos and pay for them. Thus, the SSBBWs see this as an income and feed themselves encouraged by FAs on the internet.

[thatguest]

On 9/7/2017 at 8:43 PM, pin-up goblin said:

Interesting topic. Always wondered why most of you are obsessed with women gaining, like there could be fat chicks right in front of you, but you need to see them fatter. I'm baffled but that is not my thing. I'm super accepting of what women look like because I can see the beauty in all women. Men...nope. I have a very specific type so I can understand wanting your type. 🤔

I think most of us would love to have an explanation as to why we like what we like. There is none though, it just is what it is.

I also think most of us are accepting that it will always be nothing more than a fantasy.

[John Smith]

How people can manage to live well by loving being fat or seeing someone they've drawn to getting fatter when they manage to reduce their own preferences to nothing else but something odd or bordeline, and anything above their closet range of desiribality uncanny ? 🤔

[thatguest]

3 minutes ago, John Smith said:

How people can manage to live well by loving being fat or seeing someone they've drawn to getting fatter when they manage to reduce their own preferences to nothing else but something odd or bordeline, and anything above their closet range of desiribality uncanny ? 🤔

There's a lot more to living well than physical attraction though. The health issue is the big thing here. If (all things remaining equal, of course there are exceptions to this) health didn't decline with excess weight, it would be a different story for many of us.

[John Smith]

11 hours ago, aussieyada said:

There's a lot more to living well than physical attraction though. The health issue is the big thing here. If (all things remaining equal, of course there are exceptions to this) health didn't decline with excess weight, it would be a different story for many of us.

People like Rhonda Rousey or Plumpprincess are both living proofs that somebody may gaining an excessive amount of weight while remaining healthy.

 

If some people cannot... this is either because they won't, either because they can't. That said, this is only either a matter of lifelong choice or simply belittle to no interest to improve oneself their daily activity.

[thatguest]

1 hour ago, John Smith said:

People like Rhonda Rousey or Plumpprincess are both living proofs that somebody may gaining an excessive amount of weight while remaining healthy.

 

If some people cannot... this is either because they won't, either because they can't. That said, this is only either a matter of lifelong choice or simply belittle to no interest to improve oneself their daily activity.

I said there are exceptions to this. Yes it is possible to gain weight and be healthy but all things remaining equal it's not for the majority of people. For the most part the "gainer" lifestyle isn't a healthy one. 

[John Smith]

3 hours ago, aussieyada said:

I said there are exceptions to this. Yes it is possible to gain weight and be healthy but all things remaining equal it's not for the majority of people. For the most part the "gainer" lifestyle isn't a healthy one. 

Living through any sexual lr aesthethical fetish, same as extreme sports, politics or any purpotedly passional form of Monomania isn't properly "healthy" , or merely finish to not being as then anyway. Hence the whole personnal question of choices.

Like I said first time where I wrote on this thread, we aren't more sick than a thin-obsessed, a big-breast-obsessed, a bottle-shape-obsessed, a SM or a amateur in extreme sports. At the end of the day, this is only a matter of choices and we all die sooner or later.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

On 9/24/2017 at 3:51 AM, aussieyada said:

I think most of us would love to have an explanation as to why we like what we like. There is none though, it just is what it is.

Not necessarily....I may be opening up a Lolita's Pandora's box by drawing this parallel, but pedophilia is frequently explained by mental illness.

[Sons of Windsor]

My preferences are hard to pin down, and I still don't fully understand what arouses me, but I seem to have a fetish for weight gain - though not feederism. If that makes sense. Like, watching footage of beautiful women eating does nothing for me. But watching a compilation of videos/photos that show the same women getting bigger over time, that's hugely stimulating. Women are naturally chubbier than men and when they gain weight their curves all accrue in such a... womanly way, from their hips, to their bums, to their thighs, and so on. So I definitely don't hate women, I think I'm just really in love with their shapes.

I should also stress that my fetish is also largely fantasy based. I often imagine women gaining massive amounts of weight, unrealistically so, like in those Deviant Art comics. There are massive women I regularly masturbate to, but when I see women of an equivalent size in real life I'm not interested. Curiously, I'm much more attracted to slimmer women in person than I am when looking at porn (though by slim I mean still curvy/chubby, just not super-morbidly obese). The most arousing weight gain period for me is also in the early stage, for example Goddess Shar. She's gone from rake-thin to chubby and that's absolutely sexy as hell. Ten times more arousing that seeing, say, BBW Adeline go from 400+ to over 500. 

Although there are times when my fetish can have a bit of a 'dark passenger' element to it. There's a girl working in my local supermarket who's very attractive and I've noticed she's putting on a bit of weight. But she also looks tired and stressed and fed up and oddly that's arousing to me. Sometimes I fantasise about women being too tired to look after their bodies, eating fatty processed ready meals as a result. Something about that real lack of discipline/control to adhere to a diet or to eat healthy really gets me going. Like, a woman will spend hours getting ready to go out. She'll curl her hair, apply make up, buy news shoes and a dress, but one thing they absolutely will resist is to eat well and try to slim down. 

The whole chubby-chasing thing is a harmless cultural trait in human societies. It's natural for man to crave chubby women. Cave paintings show grossly obese women thousands of years ago in Europe, probably because it was harsh to get the calories in on the freezing mammoth steppe. The obsession with thinness now is purely about status and intrasexual competition. Nowadays everything's inversed. It's easy to get fat, hard to stay thin, the opposite of the rest of man's evolution. Now, being thin shows desirable mate qualities because of our awareness of what healthy eating/exercise has on health, it also shows hard work, a willingness to look after one's self, and so on. The feed-until-immobile thing is probably just a dark corruption of the aforementioned trait. Although I'll admit my evolutionary and anthropology knowledge is limited to a few books by Jared Diamond, Edward O. Wilson, Richard Dawkings, David M. Buss and a few others. The feed-until-immobile desire is one of those weird traits like transgenderism and paedophilia that can't readily be explained. Why would such traits be apparent in the gene pool? What purposes could they serve to the benefit or the individual, or group? If anyone knows, I'd be really interested to find out.