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Are we all just extremely sick? (trigger warnings)


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This is my long time lurker opinion. I'm a man btw:

Usually it's people who question themselves constantly that make the best case against themselves. I've always thought about this as a thing not to talk about until I just openly stated my preferences one day and learned not to blush when the topic of attraction came up. There's a lot of openness and self analysis going on which is probably reflective of the fact that men and women in this scene aren't out there to hurt anyone even though there's potential suffering involved. People suffer with a host of physical, mental, and emotional, and relationship/control/attachment issues. Everyone suffers and most people don't want to cause suffering nor witness it while remaining idle. 

I read this whole forum and there's been mention of domination/control, perversion, harm, pedos, obsessive compulsive behavior, self esteem, mental health, and the normalcy/strangeness of this stuff we all do/feel.  I see a lot of people that are scared of themselves. This is a morbid pass time that snowballed into hours of wasted time each week for me which I feel badly about. Through self torment I've beat myself up about this but I won't convince myself like I have in the past that I'm a threat to myself or others. I used to work in retail with a cam-girl and she told me how much it took out of her and I draw the line at dignity. I don't believe in the economy behind this which puts a price on it but I don't agree with putting a price on human life in any circumstance. I'm even uncomfortable with wage labor because I've sold myself working Joe jobs and felt like a whore working for people unworthy of my time. It's unhealthy to be window shopping on websites and spending money on porn no matter the content/fetish. That's the thing I feel worst about is the habit of this, not the prospect of growing a person into immobility which I'd never do. It's been easier to convince myself there's something wrong with me than actually going out there and meeting a larger person. 

However it's easy to scare myself when I'm constantly living in paralyzing self-doubt. I know in my heart where I stand  and this self-doubt about my involvement here stems from that feeling of shame. I still feel shame but I know how to alleviate the feeling with a little self talk, openness, and honesty. I still blush and I still wouldn't get into this conversation with everyone but hiding from myself and failing to integrate this in my life in accordance with my values causes anxiety about the issues at hand. In a conversation with myself, of course I'd like to see some fantasies unfold while of course I'd be the first to notice and attempt to remedy the suffering of a real person in my life. This is anonymous window shopping for myself and a lot of people and that detachment causes a disconnect and anxiety that's crept into my thinking about all this. At least for the time being I'm not in a comfortable situation to be dating because I've decided to better myself one day at a time and grow the hell up (baby steps). However I'm definitely pursuing someone I'm attracted to (likely overweight)  and I won't lie to myself or them nor will I betray my values.

I used to be scared of myself and scared of being myself but there's nothing really wrong with me. The sickest I've been is ashamed of myself and mistrusting myself, thinking the worst and interpreting myself as a bad or predatory person even though I'm wasting hours scrolling through pics and admiring shapes while seeing the downside at the same time. The human mind is constantly running checks and I've ran the simulation; I am not the sum of my self-doubt. I don't want to be entangled with secrets and shame and I will not be a promiscuous person, it's just not me. I've always been slow to warm up to someone anyway.  I will be myself and my shadow without casting darkness on another's soul, their suffering will be my battle and not my doing. 

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Guest An Optimist
On 27/01/2018 at 2:28 PM, balh said:

Hell when my last girlfriend was naked I was not attracted to her body, but could get off to images on the Internet.

That's probably because you like porn more than sex.

 

11 hours ago, materialentanglement said:

. It's unhealthy to be window shopping on websites and spending money on porn no matter the content/fetish. That's the thing I feel worst about is the habit of this, not the prospect of growing a person into immobility which I'd never do. It's been easier to convince myself there's something wrong with me than actually going out there and meeting a larger person. 

Probably is. Anyways, maybe take a break from the internet? Try to work out courage to go on some dates and meet people? It'll suck most likely, but you probably need the practice.

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On 1/11/2018 at 10:37 AM, John Smith said:

The basis of every "fetish" is to explore it and goes far... otherwise, the thrill just fade out.

Not necessarily. I like a lot of weird stuff when turned on, but that doesn't mean I want some of it to actually happen. I think with any fetish it can be a spectrum of how into it you really are and if it is detrimental in order to achieve good sex.

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On July 5, 2017 at 11:45 AM, Handel said:

I fatten women secretly. I've tried pretty much everything http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Appetite-Enhancing+Drugs but now generally stick to smoking pot with girls, then go to restaurants or have feasts at my house.

Going to a restaurant is the best, because I'll ask what appetizers sound good to them and order the highest calorie ones, then only pretend to eat them. I also recommend sugary alcohol drinks and order new ones as soon as they are nearing empty. Dave and Busters is a great place for this. They have tons of high calories foods and drinks, and you can go to the games section and continue ordering sugar drinks while they're distracted by silly games. You can also continue ordering appetizers back there.

Another great idea is to go to movies and order a ton of food, candy, and drinks. Girls will just sit there, shoveling food into their mouth while watching the movie.

Although everyone wants to fatten a really thin woman, this is much more difficult. It is better to go for a girl that show some signs of "ballooning" potential. Starter bellies, big arms, slight double chins, and a fat family are great signs.

Once you live with the girl, make sure to fill up the pantry and fridge and freezer with easy to eat fatty and sugary foods. Make the healthy foods a pain to find and eat. Keep bowls of candy out, and pastries on the table. Encourage her to quit her job so she could focus on her dream, which will really mean parking her growing body in front of the TV while she eats and eats and eats.

Make it hard for her to tell that she's gaining. The easiest way is to modify her clothes to be larger, and to switch our her clothes for bigger sizes and switch the tags to show the smaller sizes. Make her whole life as easy as possible, encourage pot smoking and drinking, and have fattening foods everywhere. When eating at home, figure out ways to make the food more fattening. Breading and oil, use sugar on everything, carbs carbs carbs, and buy huge plates that make the food seem like not much.

The results are staggering. Following this, it is _easy_ to make a girl gain 60+ pounds in a year. If everything aligns perfectly, you might even see a hundred pound gain in that time.

Boners!

You won this thread. You are what curvage is all about

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Guest patitbo

I find this thread really interesting. I've never been entirely happy with this fetish for those reasons:

1- It's obvious that obesity is a disease, it may be attractive, and I know what I'm talking about, but people dies from it. It's a fact.

2- I probably live in the most fat-shaming place in the world (Paris), and it's extremely rare to meet women who are not skinny. They are hiding themselves or they just dont exist.

Evry single time I meet an interesting girl, intellectually speaking, she is skinny and I friendzone them for that, just because I know that wont works sexually. And it's hard to understand for them, for my friends, they don't understand why I'm still single and why I almost never show any sign of attraction for the women around me. 

 

A few months ago I've met a girl. She's skinny of course, but she's also quite special. Intellectually we match together like crazy and I have to admit I think I'm in love for the first time in my entire life. I just spent the evening with her, we just have a drink together and an extremely deep conversation on extremely interesting topics (she's studying philosophy in the French equivalent of Harvard university). She is so intelligent, elegant, funny, cultivated and extremely beautiful. I feel so lucky to have a match with a girl like her. Back at home I opened my fap dedicated internet browser, and I had an extremely bad feeling. Something between shame and disgust, like it never happend before. So I've made a decision. I've deleted all my oink bank, years of collection of videos. I've deleted my acounts on all the websites like fantasyfeeder, **, etc... Because I think the problem is not the fetish itself, I think the problem is the internet and the fact we can have access to any kind of videos/pictures on command. I think it's perfectly normal for a man to be attracted by fat woman, I think that's more "natural" to be attracted by obesity than anorexia. I also have a theory about why occidental culture glorify anorexia when it's very hostile about obesity, but I wont explain it here and now. 

I think internet is killing our imagination and it's locking us up in our fantasies. What I wanna try, and I know it gonna be hard,  is to stop using internet for sexual content. I wanna try to recover a sexual life like before internet era. Maybe if I stop feeding my fetish with pictures and videos all the time, it gonna be easier for me to feel desire for women in general and not only the fat ones. I don't know if what I'm saying is really clear because my english is not perfect, but basically I wonder if at the end my sexual life wouldn't be more active, open and sane if I stop to  overfeed my fetish with internet. Of course I still gonna have an attraction for larger women, but maybe I'll be less selective about it. Maybe it would be easier for me to express desire for skinny women, who are not specially ugly afterall. It gonna be hard and there is an high probability for me to fail, but I'll try, just to see if anything changes.

I also do that because for me, intelligence is way more important than body shape (really!), I'm extremely selective about that and the girl I'm dating right know is really impressing me, like no one did before. I'm in love with her and I wanna "make love" with her, the old way, without being assaulted by ideas like force feeding or belly stuffing of weight gaining. I wanna try something different, explore new things with her, different kind of sensualities... If for any reason she gains a little bit of weight, I probably wont be sad, but it wont be my fault.

 

in conclusion, I think that we aren't sick because of our fetish for fat women, but because of the way that the internet disturb our sexuality and encourage our desires to be extreme, way beyond anything sane. It's only a theory and I'll try the experience myself, maybe I'm wrong and we're just fucked up people with a morbid fetish.

 

I apologize again for the mistakes in my english, it would be way easier for me in french, but I hop I'm not that bad anyway.

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Your English is very fluent for a non-native english speaker , dw

I'm glad you met somebody you have such chemistry with, and hopefully she'll be a stepping stone to help you overcome this fetish.

Because i see nothing wrong with wanting to be rid of it. I too value intellect over physicality (within reason, for a long-term relationship).

Of course fetish' are insidious too and often reviling them can (perhaps subconsciously) increase their extremity. 

Also yeah the pernicious effects of online porn on libido and healthy sexuality are well established. I didn't visit curvage to fap truuuuust me (fr i haven't looked at pics yet and i suppose after this little homily i'll keep it that way). Just feel the love irl and stay away from shit online. 

I hope all goes well for ya in the end...so hopefully we (don't) meet again 

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On 04/02/2018 at 4:53 PM, Avataг said:

I don't want to repeat all the arguments why fattening someone secretly is

Read the thread for yourself, if you wish. All your answers are there.

And so did Handel, and i can't help but say: i agree with at least some of the things he said. And fuck, im a feminist. Are you all guys more feminist than i am? I don't think so. Nobody can be secretly fattened to morbid obesity unless that people is blind or live in a house without any mirrors or lights.

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8 hours ago, Brenda said:

And so did Handel, and i can't help but say: i agree with at least some of the things he said. And fuck, im a feminist. Are you all guys more feminist than i am? I don't think so. Nobody can be secretly fattened to morbid obesity unless that people is blind or live in a house without any mirrors or lights.

1. It's got nothing to do with feminism--men can be secretly fattened as well as women.

2. Some people have a hard time managing their weight even without a stealth feeder. A feeder can easily push them over the line. I admit in many cases the fattened person shares the blame; but I still say pressuring, manipulating, tempting or tricking someone into gaining without their consent is messed up.

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On 06/02/2018 at 6:12 PM, Dr. Feeder said:

1. It's got nothing to do with feminism--men can be secretly fattened as well as women.

2. Some people have a hard time managing their weight even without a stealth feeder. A feeder can easily push them over the line. I admit in many cases the fattened person shares the blame; but I still say pressuring, manipulating, tempting or tricking someone into gaining without their consent is messed up.

1. I've been for quite a while on this forum, men are a majority as feeders, and a huge one, that's a fact. Enough said.

2. Pressuring, manipulating, tempting or tricking someone into anything without their consent is "messed up". But feeding someone with foods which that people want to eat is not a crime, but yeah, good sense is recommended. Look at "fat families", where parents drive their children to obesity by making them share their bad eating habits. They're not criminals.

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3 hours ago, Brenda said:

I've been for quite a while on this forum, men are a majority as feeders, and a huge one, that's a fact. 

Irrelevant. But I admit my argument ("It's got nothing to do with feminism--men can be secretly fattened as well as women.") that this is a response to is poor.

But I still claim this has nothing to do with feminism.

Can we go back to square one?

Your argument:  "And fuck, im a feminist. Are you all guys more feminist than i am? I don't think so. Nobody can be secretly fattened to morbid obesity unless that people is blind or live in a house without any mirrors or lights."

I am a feminist too. (No idea if I'm more of one than you.)  But even non-feminists can be, say, against rape. I don't think stealth feeding is as bad as rape, but it's similar in that it's very often men doing it against women. 

  

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3 hours ago, Brenda said:

Pressuring, manipulating, tempting or tricking someone into anything without their consent is "messed up". But feeding someone with foods which that people want to eat is not a crime, but yeah, good sense is recommended.

This is getting too broad. Let's take one case: a woman told me she'd started putting lots of cooking oil in her husband's food so he would gain and stop complaining about her own gain. It worked, he gained weight and stopped complaining. (Now she might have made the story up--it is the internet. So if you want, consider it a hypothetical.)

In any case, it was almost certainly not a crime, I agree with you there.

But was it wrong?

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My initial reaction was, "We all"? Not all of us here find dangerously unhealthy weights attractive. For instance I don't find anything over 250-300 ish attractive, but I love when a skinny girl puts on some college weight and gets a beer belly and love handles, which I luckily got to experience with my girl.  Unhealthy?  Maybe she can't run for very long without getting winded now, maybe it's slightly harder to lift herself off the couch and her pants fit oddly now, but I wouldn't consider it "unhealthy".  I would never want her (or let her) become obese.

Which leads me to this point:  Is my fetish different from that of an obese-girl-lover?  One of us is still turned off by serious health risks and one isn't.  Different moral standards, or just two spots on the same spectrum?

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16 hours ago, Dr. Feeder said:

This is getting too broad. Let's take one case: a woman told me she'd started putting lots of cooking oil in her husband's food so he would gain and stop complaining about her own gain. It worked, he gained weight and stopped complaining. (Now she might have made the story up--it is the internet. So if you want, consider it a hypothetical.)

In any case, it was almost certainly not a crime, I agree with you there.

But was it wrong?

I think i lost my point somewhere, i can't help but say that both are wrong. The girl for obvious reasons and the boy, for complaining exceedingly about her wife's weight. What i'm defending is something way less morbid. People who lead their partners or friends to gain weight by encouraging them to eat high-caloric foods. BUT, in this case, the partners do knows what they're eating, and the consequences of that. Persuasion? Yeah, probably. But keep in mind that persuasion is not necessarily a bad thing, you can persuade people to do good or "neutral" things, in this case: moderate weight gain.

10 hours ago, hhh said:

My initial reaction was, "We all"? Not all of us here find dangerously unhealthy weights attractive. For instance I don't find anything over 250-300 ish attractive, but I love when a skinny girl puts on some college weight and gets a beer belly and love handles, which I luckily got to experience with my girl.  Unhealthy?  Maybe she can't run for very long without getting winded now, maybe it's slightly harder to lift herself off the couch and her pants fit oddly now, but I wouldn't consider it "unhealthy".  I would never want her (or let her) become obese.

Which leads me to this point:  Is my fetish different from that of an obese-girl-lover?  One of us is still turned off by serious health risks and one isn't.  Different moral standards, or just two spots on the same spectrum?

Basically the same with me, but 200 lbs is still nice, it also depends on the height of the girl. Curiously, when i have affairs with boys, i usually prefer them to be skinny. I can also say that the "weight gain" proccess arouses even more than anything else. Maybe it has something to do with the ideia of a petite girl "growing", not only by becoming fat, but also gaining height, muscles, all of these things turns me on. No wonder one of my favourite movies ever is Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958), lol.

archer_nancy_fowler_1958_01.jpg

 

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I saw from another post reply that Madison Aikers died in 2012!! I didn't even know this till I saw that reply. She couldn't have died from obesity related issues. First off she wasn't that big and at her young age I doubt her "size" had anything to do with it. Something else had to have happened, does anybody actually know for sure what she died from?

And speaking of girls dying at a young age going back to that post you can't leave out Big Cutie Summer who just died in June 2017. She was quite large to say the least and was only 40 I believe when she passed. For the record I emailed Summer like 2 years ago about a girl who lost a ton of weight and got her life back and tried to encourage Summer to do the same but she never replied back to it (naturally). So I can say I tried to save her but to no avail.  There's a few other girls on that site who are on the brink of death right now if they don't do something about their health like Echo in particular! Something tells me it may be coming this year unfortunately. 

All in all though in regards to this topic I love plus size girls and will never stop loving them or stop finding them attactive and beautiful! It's a preference NOT a fetish! The whole weight gaining thing as we all know IS a fetish! We are not sick at all, it's just what we love and sometimes what we love will kill us. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 2/8/2018 at 11:05 AM, PreyToGod said:

Irks me a bit that this threads been slapped with the 'rant' tag, despite being one of the most important and perhaps transfiguring discussions on this site. 

 

Edit: Jabba in case you tagged it yourself my bad, i suppose technically it is a rant, but something damn well worth ranting about.

Untagged.  -_-

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Ok so for me personally I would not consider myself “sick” in anyway for the kink I have or the sites I visit but I am also someone who is into feederism and chubby girls but not most bbws and certainly no ssbbws. So basically I find women gaining weight very attractive as well as them getting out of shape but I don’t actually find anything attractive about very fat women at all. Just a bit of background before I get into this I am a male in my very early twenties and an officer in the New Zealand army. My personal taste in women is something I have never been afraid to share and many of my girlfriends have known that I find it hot when they gain weight or eat a lot. The things is that in my experience the vast majority of woman I have dated have been cool with it and actively not so much gained but let themselves go     for me and loved it. The most physically attractive girl I ever went out with was a regular gym goer who on finding out what I was into gave up all cardio and core immediately, continued to eat like a horse but mixing in a lot of junk food and continued with regular butt and leg exercises which resulted in a space of just over a year her gaining massive but extremely shapely thighs and bottom as well as a huge rack and a sizeable pot belly without too much on the waist creating a soft, well fed hourglass, that was the closest to heaven I ever got especially as the sex was just as vigorous and mobile but with more puffing from her and squeezing for me. I also had one girlfriend  who was very obsessive, certain personality traits that make me very effective in my profession also seem to attract dependant woman (which I do not find attractive). This girl was so obsessed with pleasing me she’s went whole hog (literally) on the whole feederism thing. Six months later  a skinny unfit girl turned into a fat woman who was difficult and boring to have sex with and had such severe health problems I delayed ending it with her for Several months just to personal train her into some kind of healthy state just because I knew she would go off the rails as soon as it was over and I wanted her to be in the best possible state to not kill herself basically. So in summary for me feederism has never been something I want to take to extremes and it’s more the idea of an indulgent but healthy lifestyle for my partner that I enjoy. Another thing I thought might possibly be valuable is part of what I suspect is the underlying psychology behind my interest in feederism. When I was very young, maybe 4-5 and still in preschool there was a caretaker who was in her twenties and very beautiful, I had looked at her in a distinctly different way to anyone else in my life though I was years away from being capable off anything close to sexual attraction.  This curiousity with her was greatly accentuated with her when she became pregnant and she seemed so much more interesting though in my young mind I thought she was just getting fatter and one day even asked her why she was getting so fat (child etiquette I know) to which she explained to me pregnancy at which point I began to comprehend the idea but looking back all these years later I suspect that could have been one of the things that set me on this path. Anyway I’ve prattled on far too long hopefully this can be some what insightful to some fo you

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Also something I’ve also noticed that many of my friends secretly think a lot of my girlfriends have been attractive. Like I said I’ve always been pretty open about what I like and my mates take the piss low key when they can but if I had a dollar for the amount of times I’ve got drunk enough with any of my mates alone and suddenly they will come out talking about how they actually think (insert name here) is hot and that if I wasn’t dating them they would definitely go for them. So if she’s got a pretty face and a good shape most men will be into her even if she is chubby

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From a bit of field research  I've found more men prefer a voluptuous figure than one would logically assume given the proportions of the average model (despite a slight paradigm shit away from the lithe, kinda gaunt look), and celebrities and dieting and fitness fads and whatnot. I still think this is grounded in an atavistic mindset tracing back to the caveman days whereby fecundity signified that the woman was better equipped for child bearing (in times of famine etc). Of course things like ample bosoms and callipygian buttocks' are things that 90% of guys can get behind, and will publicly acknowledge. Many just won't acknowledge a preference for larger women for fear of humiliation, and I'm guilty of this too, I mean i'm more partial to 'chubby' girls as opposed to BBWs and beyond, but even I went years without revealing this to anyone, and for a long time is hamstrung me with ladies. It'd be especially jarring because i'm fit (looking) myself (i'm actually unfit as fuck)...

But about a fortnight ago, after quite a few bevans we got onto the topic of discussing sexual preferences and it transpired that one of my friends had a ...rape fetish..and another had a fucking furry fetish. Needless to say I promptly left and vow never to speak with them again.. Nah it was quite therapeutic with everyone laying their somewhat perverse cards on the table, and to my relief, no one batted an eyelid when i admitted that i prefer curvy girls and have always found the pregnant look attractive. You forget everyone is kinky as fuck, and many are just good at masking it, even to the point of never revealing their fantasies to their SO. Feeding to the point of immobility is one thing, but having a sexual preference for chubby girls is innocuous as fuck really. 

And I've rambled on too. Thank you, and also sincere apologies if you just read all of that.

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  • Moderators
On 2/11/2018 at 12:46 PM, Mik654 said:

I saw from another post reply that Madison Aikers died in 2012!! I didn't even know this till I saw that reply. She couldn't have died from obesity related issues. First off she wasn't that big and at her young age I doubt her "size" had anything to do with it. Something else had to have happened, does anybody actually know for sure what she died from?

And speaking of girls dying at a young age going back to that post you can't leave out Big Cutie Summer who just died in June 2017. She was quite large to say the least and was only 40 I believe when she passed. For the record I emailed Summer like 2 years ago about a girl who lost a ton of weight and got her life back and tried to encourage Summer to do the same but she never replied back to it (naturally). So I can say I tried to save her but to no avail.  There's a few other girls on that site who are on the brink of death right now if they don't do something about their health like Echo in particular! Something tells me it may be coming this year unfortunately. 

All in all though in regards to this topic I love plus size girls and will never stop loving them or stop finding them attactive and beautiful! It's a preference NOT a fetish! The whole weight gaining thing as we all know IS a fetish! We are not sick at all, it's just what we love and sometimes what we love will kill us. 

Madison died from complications due to cystic fibrosis, if I recall correctly.

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