Are we all just extremely sick? (trigger warnings)

[Guest DailyDose]

On 5/1/2018 at 8:13 PM, Clam_ said:

I've been lurking for a while and I've been interested in chubby girls for a few years but this is my first time posting here. Around daily for the past few years I've been pleasuring myself on strictly the bellies of chubby women and skinny women who've gained a slight bit of weight. There's a certain point for me where the weight is too much and I don't get turned on. Probably around the threshold of overweight. So Im not interested in BBWs or the unhealthy aspects of weight gain.

What is compelling me to write for the first time ever is really beyond me. Only within the past few weeks have I really been questioning how this fetish is affecting me. Nothing has changed in my life and I haven't altered my intake of material. I've stayed away from nudity the whole time I've been interested in chubby women and I am not even in the slightest compelled to view anything involving teens. 

What I worry about relates to spirituality. I've been a Christian my entire life and I know that this fetish obviously isn't accepted in the Christian lifestyle. I've found it really easy to live other parts of the Christian life and otherwise stay really close to God, staying away from alcohol and sex before marriage and viewing nudity. I have no desire to change my faith and wouldn't even consider it. 

So I say all that to say that my struggle has stemmed from a contradiction in the lifestyle that I try to adhere to. Plus the fact that I'm worried about how unhealthy getting off daily can be. I do it simply because it feels good. I have this fetish because it feels good.

I've never opened up about how I feel about this before and I've probably made it sound confusing, but I guess I'm at a point where I'm not sure what to do. I know I can stop, but I don't exactly want to. Reading everyone's replies has been very helpful as I've lurked for a few months and I'm glad that I'm not the only one worried about the effects of this. 

I'm just concerned with how I should stop or if I even should. It's probably better for me to get rid of this habit, but I think that everyone has something that turns them on that they can't shove aside. I just want to be healthy while dealing with it. 

Believe it or not I feel very similar to you in your story. I have been struggling a lot with this fetish especially recently for various reasons. However I get tempted much farther sometimes - I have been a gainer at times and sometimes like huge women - and in a way I feel like there are demons swirling around me when I get these dark thoughts about women getting fat and unhealthy. (This is more literal than you think, the Earth is filled with truly innumerable incorporeal demons - and this is only 1/3 of all the angels apparently)

I tend to like girls who are socially awkward, reclusive, clingy, innocent and nonthreatening - this mix of criteria and more seems to produce naturally a subconscious predilection for women on the softer side. It's probably a subconscious idiosyncracy too given my severe anxiety, I want a girl who is basically a security blanket. Whether or not that's good to seek is another subject, but sometimes I feel my preferences get corrupted into dark fantasy. Darkness that leads to death, that is essentially what feederism is beyond the most gentle and mild of its forms. And as we know, Satan loves that and wants everyone to die in body as well as spirit.

I still think its good for a woman to have some feminine softness but i cant endorse obesity in good conscience anymore. Likewise  I want to have a more masculine, fit body for the greater good of my ideal future family.

I'll pray for you my friend. I sincerely wish the best for you and it's good to read someone with a situation similar to me. Thank you.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

I'm well aware that this forum is first and foremost about pushing acceptance.  Acceptance in a world where so many overweight people are treated like utter shit for no reason whatsoever; becoming the butt of many a cruel joke and made to feel like 2nd-class citizens, or even non-human.

I am behind that plight 100%.

But acceptance, acceptance, acceptance....that's all we hear about when it comes to body-positivity sites like this.
But there comes a point when certain niches and personal endeavors should NOT be accepted, embraced, or normalized.

Yeah, I fucking get it.  I'm not here to habitually shove medical advice down anyone's throat.  We'd all be goddamn hypocrites if we preached purely healthy living after joining curvage.

But sometimes it reaches a point of extremism.

I can't bring up specifics for obvious reasons, but I just was on a week-long hiatus for "breaking the site rules" when it came to calling out an exceptional case of self-sabotage in the name of feederism/WG fetish(or whatever the correct term is).

A woman who claims she will be dead within a few years regardless wants to become the fattest person ever, and apparently she genuinely aspires to be listed in the Guinness book as such.  She has pretty much every clip/image/video/benefits/gift/webcam/donate account imaginable, and is promoting her content as though there is no tomorrow(er, perhaps a selection of words?).

This is where it's basically impossible to argue against this being an "extremely sick"(as per the thread title) crowd, consisting of an attention-seeker and a vast flock of enablers.

I understand that those in control are often in a very uncomfortable and sometimes difficult position when it comes to governing this website.

I wholly appreciate that even the posts that got me temp-banned were not deleted or altered in any way, as censorship can be quite toxic.

I totally get that having a viewpoint clashing with a sea of raging boners is a major burden on what is essentially an online community devoted to eroticism.


But I also believe that sometimes enough is enough.....the fantasy/role play goes too far when the nature of an online relationship is tantamount to aiding and abetting in someone's suicide.  Yes, then you can bet your ass that I will judge your tastes, as your tastes are worrisome and downright fucking perverse.

It's frequently a slippery slope when it comes to moderating what should and shouldn't be allowed, especially considering when pretty much the brunt of it is technically harmful in its own rights.
But when something so outstanding comes into light, I don't think it's such a grey area anymore....and even *if* such activity is allowed, a voice of "reason" should not receive punishment for becoming the proverbial party-pooper.

This is one of those instances when I feel(and with solid rationality) that a lot of folks need to come back down to earth after getting caught up in some seriously messed up and uncouth shit.


 

[mrx]

i have also been struggling with this. I always had this fetish. My wife was skinny when i met her and after we had our kids she just never lost the weight and i loved it. After a while i got the encouragement to tell her i was into weight gain and chubby girls. She let go for a little while to satisfy my little fetish and it was fun but then she hit almost 230 pounds and wasnt happy with her body and decided to diet. I was selfish at first and she ended up losing 30 pounds. This is where i kind of realised i might be messed up in the head. I literally was destroying her body because lets face it, its not healthy to be obese. 

For everyones information, the diet bombed and she gained that weight back and she's probably near 230 again and i can tell its her breaking point. Although im loving it. Why should i encourage her to gain. I dont know. it feels right but its really wrong.

 

I also refuse to show pics because i have a ton of them and the progression is really hot and i know you fuckers will just jerk of to that shit. lol

[Guest Vladimir Putin]

There's no greater homage to your significant other than having a bunch of strangers jerk off to her and you know it. At least admit the idea turns you on. Come on, spread the joy. 😀

[Guest grateful]

When I give in to actually encouraging poorer habits in another person because of "a fleshier" outcome, I have noticed there is "no end in site" and I want to "ramp up" my feeder inspired actions and I personally think incarcerating myself in my personal vice does not make me a better person.

It is almost with relief that my own physical difficulties as of late have made me more empathetic to the impending difficulties of others and that my limitations may be an opportunity to reform my behaviors.

That being said, I am totally opposed to censorship of this board and I applaud those who make careful posts on weight related issues regardless of whether I might agree or disagree.

This site is such a valuable resource for us all to work out our relationship to and our feelings relevant to the "fat attraction phenomenon". There is simple no other place like it. Thanks 707!

It was hilarious to see your recent punishment Jabba.  I cannot totally disagree with your "time out", however I always look forward to your posts and I am grateful that you are bold enough to express what I feel is genuine content even if it might be unpopular.

I am grateful to anyone who takes the time to post, especially with regard to social implications of "our thing" and the introspection required to get to know ourselves better in relation to this phenomenon.

 

[bluetech]

The problem is that health is far too complex to say with absolute 100% certainty whether something is healthy or unhealthy. All you can say is that something is associated with a risk to health. For example, even things like smoking and working with asbestos can only be said to have a very high risk of causing lung cancer. The statement “smoking causes lung cancer” implies that everyone who smoked is guaranteed to get lung cancer, which the existence of a few old geezers who smoked their entire life disproves. 

So as we are talking about risk rather than direct cause, I think it helps to compare weight-gain-for-pleasure to other risky things. I have used the analogy of sky diving here before. It is something that is inherently risky, but people still do it for fun, and the risk can be greatly minimized if you go about it the right way and take steps to minimize that risk. 

Relevant to this topic, the analogy holds in that it is only ethical to encourage someone to do the thing if they already enjoy it or are open to it. And only they can make the decision for themselves to assume the risk and do the thing. 

[bluetech]

To take the analogy to an extreme, if you enjoy skydiving so much that you get a thrill from watching videos of terrified people accidentally falling out of planes, then yeah, you’re pretty sick. 

[Avataг]

10 hours ago, bluetech said:

get a thrill from watching videos of terrified people accidentally falling out of planes

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

11 hours ago, bluetech said:

The problem is that health is far too complex to say with absolute 100% certainty whether something is healthy or unhealthy.

Numbers don't lie.  There's a fundamental distinction between being 100% unhealthy vs. 100% guaranteed to kill you.
 

11 hours ago, bluetech said:

All you can say is that something is associated with a risk to health. For example, even things like smoking and working with asbestos can only be said to have a very high risk of causing lung cancer. The statement “smoking causes lung cancer” implies that everyone who smoked is guaranteed to get lung cancer, which the existence of a few old geezers who smoked their entire life disproves.

No, no, no....the establishment of a direct correlation is enough to emphatically proclaim that smoking causes lung cancer.  In fact, it's the LAW to have such a disclaimer on the cartons in the form of a Surgeon General's Warning.  Again, your notion of an ambiguities surrounding a 100 percent certainty of being "unhealthy" would only ring true if you were to conflate it with some given variable being advertised as 100 percent FATAL.  You can't chalk up the statistics to being coincidental.  Especially when scientific studies provide all of the supportive facts.
 

11 hours ago, bluetech said:

So as we are talking about risk rather than direct cause, I think it helps to compare weight-gain-for-pleasure to other risky things. I have used the analogy of sky diving here before. It is something that is inherently risky, but people still do it for fun, and the risk can be greatly minimized if you go about it the right way and take steps to minimize that risk.  

Don't distill this down into a simple risk versus direct cause.  Everything in life has varying levels of risk.  Sure, if we want to remain as safe and healthy as humanly possible, we wouldn't ever leave our houses for fear of a freak accident inflicting a mortal injury upon us.  But we need to function in a calculated manner.  Playing 'reverse Russian roulette'(one empty, five in chamber) isn't a surefire(pun intended) death sentence, but of an extremely high risk.  When you talk about a "right way" of doing these sorts of things in hopes of minimizing any risks, I'm reminded of Susanne Eman's Katy Perry Doppelganger of a kid sister:

 

11 hours ago, bluetech said:

Relevant to this topic, the analogy holds in that it is only ethical to encourage someone to do the thing if they already enjoy it or are open to it. And only they can make the decision for themselves to assume the risk and do the thing.  

Again, don't oversimplify the situation...a lot of things are only "risks" in name only.  Like I said, practically everything decision we ever make is technically a "risk" - because of how little in control we are.

I don't want to start condemning anyone again, but there's having a relatively benign daredevil streak...and then there's just being a fucking idiot.  I can't stand it when health advice given in the environment of a medical setting becomes "body-shaming" or "judgemental".  Why even bother to see a doctor then?

[Guest fb1]

I feel like moderation is always best with most things, including weight gain. Yes, its not exactly healthy, but if someone gains with healthier food and not just junk and they do some sort of exercise, I think that mitigate some problems. It would also require having limits. 

To me, I've always regarded 300lbs as a high limit - basically there's no need to go beyond this, it's plenty fat enough. I'd say my preferred range is roughly 200-275lbs-ish, although its highly dependant on the woman's height, where and how to fat builds on them, etc. its strange, you can have 2 women, both the same weight and height, but I'll find one attractive (maybe even wanting her to gain more) and thinking the other one should stay as they are or lose weight. 

However, I have come across women bigger than this and found them attractive, which is always very weird for me; its too big, but its attractive. Its a weird thought to have - maybe I'm restricting myself and I actually women far bigger than say, i don't know.

Ultimately, I'd love to have a gf/wife who shared this fetish with me (but the opposite - I like looking at fat girls, she wants to be a fat girl), but I always consider how that would affect health and frankly, if I ever find someone I love, I want to be with for as long as possible.

Maybe thats a problem with the community, a lack of restraint? I have thought to myself that it doesn't really matter if someone I'm looking at is bigger than my limit, because I don't know them, they're half a world a way, its like a fantasy - theres no consequences, for me. I realise the pretty awful way I thinking about it, but generally forget about it in the moment.

Maybe people need to say to themselves that "x" lbs is the high limit and restrict themselves to it, even if they're attractive bigger women. For the women's health and maybe even their own; doesn't this sort of thing generally creep up, you start liking chubby girls and with a few years you're liking ssbbw?

This is a bit all over the place and a bit long, sorry. I hope this still has a place in this discussion.

[Guest hateobesity]

dont you realize tho, the only consequences are for you. giving in to a fantasy of degeneracy bc of lusts we can't control. we give our life energy to the toilet paper and for what? a couple girls busting out of some outfits? no girl dies or gets fat because of you, but you are jacking off to literally girls gaining fat which would be detrimental to their survival from a pragmatic standpoint. WHO SUFFERS, YOU MIGHT ASK?

well its a mix. if you can get a real positive relationship, whether she shares you fetish or not she will be indirectly or directly affected by it. and either way you are affected by it. i mean think it about it, your dick might get harder thinking about some girl putting on weight than thinking about some sexy girl giving you head and then riding you all night. believe or not we're desensitizing our heads to something arguably unnatural

[Guest hateobesity]

to answer OP, yea personally i think we're all extremely sick. 

[Dr. Feeder]

On 5/1/2018 at 1:13 PM, Guest Clam_ said:

I've been lurking for a while and I've been interested in chubby girls for a few years but this is my first time posting here. Around daily for the past few years I've been pleasuring myself on strictly the bellies of chubby women and skinny women who've gained a slight bit of weight. There's a certain point for me where the weight is too much and I don't get turned on. Probably around the threshold of overweight. So Im not interested in BBWs or the unhealthy aspects of weight gain.

What is compelling me to write for the first time ever is really beyond me. Only within the past few weeks have I really been questioning how this fetish is affecting me. Nothing has changed in my life and I haven't altered my intake of material. I've stayed away from nudity the whole time I've been interested in chubby women and I am not even in the slightest compelled to view anything involving teens. 

What I worry about relates to spirituality. I've been a Christian my entire life and I know that this fetish obviously isn't accepted in the Christian lifestyle. I've found it really easy to live other parts of the Christian life and otherwise stay really close to God, staying away from alcohol and sex before marriage and viewing nudity. I have no desire to change my faith and wouldn't even consider it. 

So I say all that to say that my struggle has stemmed from a contradiction in the lifestyle that I try to adhere to. Plus the fact that I'm worried about how unhealthy getting off daily can be. I do it simply because it feels good. I have this fetish because it feels good.

I've never opened up about how I feel about this before and I've probably made it sound confusing, but I guess I'm at a point where I'm not sure what to do. I know I can stop, but I don't exactly want to. Reading everyone's replies has been very helpful as I've lurked for a few months and I'm glad that I'm not the only one worried about the effects of this. 

I'm just concerned with how I should stop or if I even should. It's probably better for me to get rid of this habit, but I think that everyone has something that turns them on that they can't shove aside. I just want to be healthy while dealing with it. 

Sounds like you have a porn addiction or are worried about having one. Your issues are independent of the particular fetish. There are support groups to help with that. You also might talk to your religious adviser.

[mrx]

On 6/15/2018 at 6:19 PM, Vladimir Putin said:

There's no greater homage to your significant other than having a bunch of strangers jerk off to her and you know it. At least admit the idea turns you on. Come on, spread the joy. 😀

Meh just one.

[mrx]

16 minutes ago, mrx said:

Meh just one.

 

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Telling her my secret was extremely hard but the best thing I ever did. She had no idea.

[TomBoyDeviant]

I know this thread is fucking old but i think it's interesting: finally people discuss like fucking human being explaining their own opinion...analyze your own self for me is really important if you do it correctly.                                     I can say that i try to do this with every problem and everyday and i can say that you guys are quite good at it😂.

It's obvious that living with a fetish (especially this type) is hard as hell but i feel like we need to be analytic and try to act the best: it's wrong to say that we need to repress this fetish because of course living with it it's hard but with a repression the thing get worse and worse...you'll pass your life trying to cancel who you actually are.

But of course it's unhealty to follow the fetish until the problem will become fuckin dangerous for us and a supposed wife/girlfriend or life in general

In the end i think that some people like us need to have more self-esteem about this strange thing called fat fetish/feederism/feedism (it depends) cause the repression will cancel your fucking person itself...sorry for my english it's not my mother language

[Mik654]

Let me just say this... Loving a big girl is NOT A FETISH!! IT IS A PREFERENCE!! Like some guys like/prefer blondes or brunettes or skinny girls or small breasted women rather than one with big bazooms lol. It's all preference and what we are attracted to and what turns is on..... Now feederism, being into weight gain/wanting to become bigger and bigger/immobile etc, liking sucking on a girls feet/toes etc THESE ARE EXAMPLES OF FETISHES!! Dony get it confused

[TomBoyDeviant]

@Mik654I know...i know there's a difference beetween a preference and a fetish, and let me tell you that a person who lives with a fetish knows perfectly the difference😂...a preference is just a "taste", a fetish is something you NEED to satisfy in your sexual life

[Chevalier]

I'll sum this up as quickly as possible:

People like exaggerations of beauty and are quite narcissistic in this online age.  Underneath all this pride are the tears of a clown, who find occasional guilt for disappearing on their lovers, fans and children (like with the cable guy).

Despite the race against father time and mother nature, people want to hold onto imaginary ideals at all costs, and are willing to break up over a few pounds faster than if someone hurt/stole from them or became secretive.

[Mik654]

Donald Trump is an IMAGINARY IDEAL lol. Liking fat over skinny or muscly is not an imaginary ideal

[extra_m13]

there is some truth about this being a dangerous fetish i have to admit it. my wife just hit her heaviest weight, at 200 pounds, standing tall in a pettite 5'1 frame i have to admit she is in the obese category and she looks that way. i mean, i love it and she carries it with grace in a very hourglass figure, almost evenly distributed but mainly on her lower part. in the last 5 years she has gained the equivalent of 50% of her weight at the time, and she is not exercising so it is almost pure fat. so in 5 years to go from 133 pounds to 200, of pure fat, and it looks, i mean, big ass, hanging belly, amazing lovehandles, but you have to concede it is not the ideal healthwise. and i just want her to get bigger. so yeah, there is some point in which it can become a somewhat dangerous fetish, but oh my, how much pleasure is there for the ones who have the joy to live it.

[CarlGnarl]

The human race is insane for a variety of reasons, the biggest being that we do not see ourselves as insane, What we are and have always been is a violent, thieving, raping, torturing race that should probably just be wiped out as we will most likely do in the next century when some GOD IS GREAT-screaming country finally gets the bomb and uses it, rendeing humanity moot. In the meantime, pet some kitties and doggies and be nice to your mother! 

I wouldn't worry TOO much about it, although you are obviously a nice person for not wanting to cause your partners undue pain/sickness. However, I recently visited a relative in a vast assisted-living facilty and out of the hundreds of 65-years-old-and-up population, I didn't see one fat or obese person, and this facility is right in the middle of one of the most obese states in the country.  

It's not the means to a long life, that's for pretty certain. What kills me is seeing people in their 80s or 90s smoking, and no ill effects. (Not in the assisted-living place, I mean in my town.) Would be great if some 300, 400 and more-pound people could just be that was into later life with little or zero negative health effects. Dream on, I suppose. 

[CarlGnarl]

On 12/18/2018 at 1:54 PM, Mik654 said:

Let me just say this... Loving a big girl is NOT A FETISH!! IT IS A PREFERENCE!! Like some guys like/prefer blondes or brunettes or skinny girls or small breasted women rather than one with big bazooms lol. It's all preference and what we are attracted to and what turns is on..... Now feederism, being into weight gain/wanting to become bigger and bigger/immobile etc, liking sucking on a girls feet/toes etc THESE ARE EXAMPLES OF FETISHES!! Dony get it confused

The "preference" thing is up for debate, so I ask you - can you get a huge, throbbing erection for a chick who is 110 pounds, has almost zero behind and no boobs, visible collarbones? If you can for this woman as well as a big, beautful, billowing, obese, flabby, overblown, sagging lady, then it's a "preference." However, if you struggle in bed with a skinny partner, your dick constantly dying, wanting, needing FAT to get aroused to the point of insanity, then it might be a fetish, without which you cannot get and stay aroused. 

"Fetish" is seen as a bad word, but it's just another part of society's hypocrisy, shame and traditional unwillingness to even acknowledge the vast and varied aspects of human sexuality until very recently. 

Also, why the need to SHOUT??  e.g. "Loving a big girl is NOT A FETISH!! IT IS A PREFERENCE!!"  Do you think you're talking to stupid people who need to be shouted at? 

[TomBoyDeviant]

@CarlGnarl i agree with you...we can't say that for most of us this is not a fetish, because it actually is. If you get turned on by a fat chick and not by gigi hadid (it's just an example😂)...yeah you are a fat amirer and i'm not saying this to offend someone (because i am a FA too) but because it's fucking reality and you have to embrace it

[John Smith]

This thread is still active.

**Heavy sighs** I would be so amused the day I'm gonna lurking for any counterpart to he same topic on platforms such like Bodybuilder-dot-com, The Chive or 4chan.