Are we all just extremely sick? (trigger warnings)

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

It's a true rarity when I'm completely serious and somber around here.  The last time that occurred, it was for the sake of avoiding a perma-ban for "mocking" the Manchester terrorist attack.  I've been meaning to compose an editorial along these lines for quite some time, but the recent untimely passing of Big Cutie Summer has compelled me to finally voice a certain set of my opinions.

As someone who has had a lifelong fascination with psychology and human behavior, the entire concept of "curvage", "chubby-chasing", "FAs" - or whatever other buzzword you prefer - has been an immensely perplexing and increasingly troubling entity.

OK, you might say...it's a sexual preference.  Some guys like redheads, some like African-American women, some don't like women at all - if nobody is getting hurt, then what is all the fuss about?  Well guess what?  People are getting hurt.  People are dying.  Look at all of the SSBBW models who have been laid to rest within the past decade and a half, and well before any of their times.  And those are hardly a representative demographic.  My generation will be the first EVER to have a SHORTER average life expectancy than the the previous one(i.e. my parents) due to the rising obesity rates.

Of course nobody in this community, let alone ANYWHERE wants to hear any of this shit.  It's morbid, it's depressing, and for us, it's obviously a massive boner-killer.  But it's all true.

So why....why are those considered to be reasonably intelligent and sensible(myself hopefully included) willing to just essentially ignore all of the glaring red flags decorated with skulls and crossbones because it happens to tickle our fancies?  Moreover, why does it even arouse us in the first place??  If you look at the entire situation with utter objectivity, why would anybody who is completely sane and decent want to encourage or contribute to the slow and painful deaths of innocent men and women.  Souls who never did us any wrong.  Souls who were beautiful both on the outside and inside and deserved so much better than to be someone's "fetish" until their dying, immobile breath.

Are we actively choosing to turn the other way when it comes to the harsh realities of what we're doing here?  Or perhaps some of us are just so naive that we'll accept any of the far-left's rhetoric when it comes to 99% of women with a BMI of over 30 are literally incapable of dropping any weight and it all is purely the fault of a preexisting genetics-related medical condition....such as being born blind or without limbs.  But the darkest possibility is that not only do a lot of us know of the adverse health effects, not only do we not CARE about what they are, but for whatever reason, we ENJOY them.  We love the fact that a sex symbol is willing to put aside all discipline and eat whatever they want without taking any proactive steps towards physical fitness.  And we love that a woman or man will go in the polar opposite direction and put themselves through the extreme pain and discomfort of overfeeding/stuffing to become as wide and round as possible.

Where does this all come from?  Does it emerge from an underlying hatred of women and/or men?  Do we want to see our so-called love ones or online strangers suffer in the most perverse and sadistic manners possible??  A lot of feeders and other such enthusiasts have a reputation for being social outcasts, unpopular beta-types who can't really initiate a "real" relationship, so they feel forced to settle for less.  But is it far more sinister than that?  Could so many of these participants actually be doing this as an act of, say, revenge?  Revenge for all those rejections, revenge for all those times they felt like the weak, helpless and inferior ones?  Wanting to finally become the dominant one; the one in charge....the one who calls all of the shots and inflicts long-term pain and damage upon their unknowing victim(s)?

I'm fully aware of how preachy and "we all must examine our holy consciences"-esque I must be sounding, but most of these questions aren't exactly hypothetical in the sense that I earnestly don't really have any concrete, tangible answers.  The scenarios and examples I gave were based off of what I know to be true, going by how humans operate...and me attempting to conjure up a somewhat sensible answer for what is otherwise irrational behavior.

The constant factor is that weight gain in unbridled excess(which is more than abundant within our crowd) is 100% proven to be detrimental to a person's health.  So I'm just trying to figure out "WHY".

I am guilty myself of partaking in these harmful activities.  Whether it be clicking on a thumbs-up icon, or "accidentally" forgetting to buy low-fat milk for a lady friend, despite her repeated requests.  And then brushing off all of her worries when a doctor gravely warns her about having a 225+ lb 5'3" frame.

Are we all deluding ourselves when we just proclaim that it's only a matter of taste, i.e. one person's Van Gogh to another's Picasso?  Or are we failing to overlook the fact that our friend Pablo, while not appealing to everyone, lived until the age of 91 and was able to realize and enjoy his fame and fortune, while dear Vincent died broke, lonely, depressed and earless via a self-inflicted bullet wound to the chest without as much of an inkling that he'd one day be one of painting's giants?

Anyone familiar with my style might be wise to the fact that I'm not trying to gain popularity via disingenuity.  I simply observe, ponder, and then try my damndest to put my thoughts and musings into written words so that they can reflect my true inner feelings to the best of my ability; remaining faithful to what I believe in.  Or at least what I believe I believe in.  Whoa.

There are so many more avenues on this subject that I could and perhaps should explore.  There's also a lot I've covered that can be elaborated on.  But for now, I'd like to hear from YOU.  Do I have some valid points?  Do I have any valid points?  Am I an egotistical raving lunatic with a holier-than-thou attitude masquerading his desire to show-off as purported insight and poignancy just so he can incite yet another flame-war and troll again to his little heart's content?

Be brutally honest, but keep it on a generalized plane of open, thoughtful debate.  Instead of "Jabba, you are full of shit" please let it be "Jabba, you are full of shit because............."

This is how things move forward, instead of resorting to baseless insults.

[Gusto]

I personally just find certain body types beautiful and the health issues never enter my mind. It's more of an aesthetic appreciation for me. I don't watch My 600 lb Life on TLC because it's way too morbid and depressing, but I do enjoy Whitney Thore's show because she's all about body positivity. I don't like watching her struggle with a diabetes scare & other health issues, and would love for her to be able to remain 380 lbs for the rest of her life without any negative health implications, if that's what she desires.

People I've helped gain have told me that they are fully aware of the potential adverse repercussions and want to gain anyway (kind of like someone who has unprotected sex despite knowing about stds). Nevertheless, I sometimes feel guilty for helping them gain, and generally try to encourage them to eat healthy foods and exercise hoping they will be able to avoid getting obesity related diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol/heart disease, joint issues, premature death etc. I also feel bad because I've noticed that this fetish can trigger body dysmorphia where the girl feels "too thin" and pressured to gain to achieve a certain size/shape. I hate to think that I'm contributing to their low self esteem by encouraging them to get fatter rather than embrace their body as it is.

[Hirsch von Bork]

Sad, but true.

I wouldn't go to extreme of saying that we are all extremely sick, but nevertheless we should accept as a fact that  fat fetishism promotes an unhealthy lifestile, making it more harmful than other fetishes.

It is true, however, that you can't put at the same level the preference for curvier girls with encouraging a morbidly obese person to gain more weight, but where do we place the limit? 

 

[Gusto]

Whitney Thore is only 5'2", which means she'd be considered morbidly obese at 220 lbs. Yet if I was her bf I'd want her to remain at 378 because I personally love her at that size (she's also stated that she loves being huge). To be honest, when she lost 100 lbs I didn't think she was nearly as attractive. Something about her shape close to 400 is really appealing. 

[rickgm]

I have this same thought from time to time.  In fact I have mentioned it on several occasions while a crowd of other other people were cheering about a particular person's massive size.  I'm not sure what the reaction will be around here, but scoot on over to dimensions and bring it up and you will be attacked as a fat hater.  I'm personally not attracted to extreme morbidly obesity, but I've always had a preference for fatter women. I can't explain it, I can't change it, I know it isn't healthy, but it has always been extremely arousing for me if a woman gets fat on purpose.

[jestro]

sick? maybe..but i think most of this fet8sh comes from biological standpoint, the more a woman gains the more feminine she becomes, thighs , hips, butts, and bellies grow curvier and is idolize like a goddess. on the other hand if this fetish is not checked, it can come from a since of dominance and power......which some women don't mind

[naranja]

Whoch super bbw models have died?

 

im more into girls getting a bit fat, a gut etc. think Olivia Jensen 

[rickgm]

10 hours ago, naranja said:

Whoch super bbw models have died?

 

im more into girls getting a bit fat, a gut etc. think Olivia Jensen 

There have been a number of them over the years...  Betsy, Large and Lovely, Madison Aikers are a few.  I don't have a complete list of names but they all passed at a young age.  Granted there may have been other issues so no one can say unequivocally that obesity was the cause. I just read over at dimensions that someone else had passed.

[Weightwatcher]

It's a tough question. I must admit I do cringe inside when I see posts on here/elsewhere encouraging young women who are already 300-400lbs to gain much more weight and I do find the immobility fetish a bit sickening if I am honest. And when people try to deny the health risks as being a reality then I find that staggering. But then I think, if someone chooses to do this because it turns them on/to make money then it is their choice to do so. Just because I am not into SSBBWs doesn't mean I have the right to question the morals of those who are.

Plenty of people in the real world would find it weird that I can get turned on by a chubby/overweght woman being unable to resist stuffing herself with cake or even finding that aforementioned fat woman aesthetically appealling in the first place. We all like what we like.

[Guest An Optimist]

On 6/29/2017 at 8:27 PM, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

Where does this all come from?  Does it emerge from an underlying hatred of women and/or men?  Do we want to see our so-called love ones or online strangers suffer in the most perverse and sadistic manners possible?? 

I used to think so when I was much younger, and felt pretty horrible because of it.

However, I don't think it works like that. 

There is probably something that nudges you toward acquiring a fetish. But the rest of the way, it's just habits and 'learning it'. 

But the crucial thing is that human mind and reason isn't about doing the 'right' thing. Most often, we do what our drives (emotions, hungers) push us to do, and then we our rational faculties provide excuses or justifications for what we have done. Hence the crazy mentality about health one could observe at Dimensions. 


 

[cjk05]

This a great topic and something I'm glad someone else brought up. I have always felt bad for liking the idea of my SO gaining weight and getting fat, but I honestly don't think I would ever have the heart to actively promote this lifestyle. I study kinesiology in college so I am well aware of all the detriments that the excess amount of weight can cause on someone. I like what @An Optimist said when it feels like its part habits and learning it because when I first started out here I only liked chubby chicks but over the years I have grown more to accept larger women as something I find appealing. So, just by putting ourselves in a community that accepts and desires it I feel naturally changes our own preferences. I feel that the desire also stems from a more primal biological stand point because of course having extra weight, to a degree, signals that your well feed and would not struggle to raise a child. Of course that only works towards women and is completely a more subconscious drive at this point in human evolution.

Overall, though i still wouldn't say it stems from a hatred towards women or men or that it is because I am a sick person. 

Interestingly enough I feel like my initial fetish actually stemmed from my desire to be healthy and not overweight at all; almost creating a subconcious desire to experience any type of fatness through someone else, but I digress.

I guess at the end of the day who really knows why we all have this preference, and I'm certain plenty of us found our ways here for different reasons.

 

[rickgm]

On 6/29/2017 at 2:27 PM, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

Where does this all come from?  Does it emerge from an underlying hatred of women and/or men?  Do we want to see our so-called love ones or online strangers suffer in the most perverse and sadistic manners possible?? 

Oh no I don't think so.  Not for me anyway.  I think it is the total opposite.  It stems from an arousal by femininity.  Maybe pregnancy and a swollen belly play a part.  Maybe it is the fat, fleshy tummy on a woman after experiencing the most feminine thing of all... Child birth.  Maybe it is the fattening that accompanies contentment in a relationship.  Whatever the origin, I just find it incredibly feminine and sexy for a woman to gain weight.  Even prior to puberty, I had a fascination for fat.  After puberty, that fascination turned into arousal.

[Weightwatcher]

I sometimes wonder how it is that I came to be attracted to chubby/plump/fat women. I do remember that the first female I recall being attracted to/fascinated by was my baby sitter when I was about 10-11 years old. She was about 19 and absolutely beautiful facially with very large boobs which wobbled when she walked/ran. I never thought of her at the time as being fat but many years later when I saw some photos of her from that time in a family album I realised that she was indeed quite a big girl (probably about a UK size 18 at a guess) and she had the belly. thighs and backside to match the boobs. She would have made a very good plus size model.

I do sometmes wonder if encountering this beauty at such an impressionable age has help to shape my preferences. I also wonder what she looks like now!

[cupido]

To begin with: I have a fat fetish and a gainer fetish and am very much into most of the kinks that come with it.

After much consideration: I will date fat women and I will masturbate to images of fat women - but at no point will I encourage them to do so.

This whole thing is a fantasy and can never be realised in a safe and healthy way.

Unless you are dating someone who really gets off on it then I would say its cruel to encourage them to gain.

I also think its fucked up. I was thinking about my fetish last week and I realised that part of me is turned on by women who let themselves go and are no longer attractive to most men. It was the image of woodsgotweird that made me think of this because her looks took a nose dive when so became obese (she was conventionally hot when slim) and I was very much turned on by the fact that she would no longer be desirable to other guys. I also get turned on by seeing hate comments and insults to fat women in social media (though I do not contribute) and I love it when a fat chick is so unfit she gets out of breath just walking around.

I don't think I need to explain how fucked up the above is. But here's another thing: I know you cant get rid of the fetish and there is no point self hating. And thus I have decided to enjoy the content online, but at no point will I encourage it irl or on the internet

[Guest I don't fucking care about]

On 6/29/2017 at 0:27 PM, Jabba Desilijic Tiure said:

 

Jabba, my bra, you're looking too deep dude.

When you're in the heat of the moment, when you're about to bust a nut with a chick or Rosie Palmer and her five sisters, what are you thinking of?

Are you thinking of your hatred of the object of your attention with which your fulfilling carnal pleasures? Are you making the central requisite of your orgasm the physical damage to their bodies brought on by their diet and lifestyles? Or are you thinking of some behaviors, that while detrimental in the long run, currently make you sexually ravenous? You said it yourself, it's a boner killer thinking of the unintended/unwanted consequences, them being exactly what they are.

There are some people who get off on people hurting and dying due to their obesity. We're not that. Not saying we're better, either. But there is an explanation.

Evolutionarily it was preferable to have a women who was chubby as it was more likely to have surviving offspring in those circumstances of food scarcity. Usually, a woman gets chubbier with a successful pregnancy. Also, we shouldn't ignore the basic facts of pregnancy. A woman's physical presence increases, especially that of her stomach, breast, and hips.

So we have three things. Chubby women birth healthy babes. Women get larger with a healthy pregnancy. In the past, a woman getting chubbier during pregnancy increased the fat of the babe, increasing their survivability.

Then there's the social aspect. Species tend to survive if they do what others in their species are doing unless there's an environmental shift to something less preferable to survival.

Anyway, we have the hardwiring to like women getting chubbier as a species survival thang. I think us feeders have a disconnect from the societal part of attraction, at least in preference to adipose tissue, as evidenced by the popularity if some figures and faces over others in this forum.

Thinking that we're setting out to purposefully harm women isn't right. We can be better if we know better, but it's like any other potentially physically/morally disgusting fetish, this a fetish and it's ours, not exactly easy to rid one's self of.

Knowing the harm limits how far we can go within this fetish if we're good people. You are not a good person if you knowingly harm another, regardless of if they want it or not. If they doing, that's called enabling. If not, that's called manipulation. Both are forms of abuse and I am calling out and judging all of you that do that.

I'm down to just watch celebs get chubby because they can't control themselves. Doing it on purpose is harmful and I'm going to do my best to not encourage it.

Queue the QQ of the fat fanboys who don't want to believe the reality that there's no healthy overweight.

[Guest An Optimist]

3 hours ago, cupido said:

I don't think I need to explain how fucked up the above is. But here's another thing: I know you cant get rid of the fetish and there is no point self hating. And thus I have decided to enjoy the content online, but at no point will I encourage it irl or on the internet

I thought so, but then I saw some more, and it's more like: your fetish will never stop being attractive, somewhat, but at least some people can develop their sexuality so they don't need to rely on said fetish to achieve sexual satisfaction.

[rickgm]

12 hours ago, cupido said:

Unless you are dating someone who really gets off on it then I would say its cruel to encourage them to gain.

Encouraging someone to gain, who has no desire of their own to do so, is the "anti-arousal."  It is a complete "turn off" to me.  Almost akin to rape.

[rickgm]

On 7/2/2017 at 5:32 AM, rickgm said:

There have been a number of them over the years...  Betsy, Large and Lovely, Madison Aikers are a few.  I don't have a complete list of names but they all passed at a young age.  Granted there may have been other issues so no one can say unequivocally that obesity was the cause. I just read over at dimensions that someone else had passed.

Correction to my post above.  I meant "Huge and Hot."  Not "Large and Lovely." 

[cupido]

3 hours ago, rickgm said:

Encouraging someone to gain, who has no desire of their own to do so, is the "anti-arousal."  It is a complete "turn off" to me.  Almost akin to rape.

in the deeper recesses of my mind it is a turn on for me - I think deep down I would love to make someone fat against their will.

A lot of men and women have a rape fantast - or weird as fuck fantasies - we just have to chose not act upon them.

Humans and their sexual desires are weird, but if we chose not to behave badly then I see no grounds for guilt.

I used to beat myself up about it but then I saw some even crazier forms of porn and fetish and began to realise that feeders and fa's are unusual but not the weirdest by a country mile

[Handel]

I fatten women secretly. I've tried pretty much everything http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Appetite-Enhancing+Drugs but now generally stick to smoking pot with girls, then go to restaurants or have feasts at my house.

Going to a restaurant is the best, because I'll ask what appetizers sound good to them and order the highest calorie ones, then only pretend to eat them. I also recommend sugary alcohol drinks and order new ones as soon as they are nearing empty. Dave and Busters is a great place for this. They have tons of high calories foods and drinks, and you can go to the games section and continue ordering sugar drinks while they're distracted by silly games. You can also continue ordering appetizers back there.

Another great idea is to go to movies and order a ton of food, candy, and drinks. Girls will just sit there, shoveling food into their mouth while watching the movie.

Although everyone wants to fatten a really thin woman, this is much more difficult. It is better to go for a girl that show some signs of "ballooning" potential. Starter bellies, big arms, slight double chins, and a fat family are great signs.

Once you live with the girl, make sure to fill up the pantry and fridge and freezer with easy to eat fatty and sugary foods. Make the healthy foods a pain to find and eat. Keep bowls of candy out, and pastries on the table. Encourage her to quit her job so she could focus on her dream, which will really mean parking her growing body in front of the TV while she eats and eats and eats.

Make it hard for her to tell that she's gaining. The easiest way is to modify her clothes to be larger, and to switch our her clothes for bigger sizes and switch the tags to show the smaller sizes. Make her whole life as easy as possible, encourage pot smoking and drinking, and have fattening foods everywhere. When eating at home, figure out ways to make the food more fattening. Breading and oil, use sugar on everything, carbs carbs carbs, and buy huge plates that make the food seem like not much.

The results are staggering. Following this, it is _easy_ to make a girl gain 60+ pounds in a year. If everything aligns perfectly, you might even see a hundred pound gain in that time.

Boners!

[Avataг]

5 hours ago, Handel said:

I fatten women secretly.

[...]

Boners!

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think you got why @Jabba Desilijic Tiure started this thread...

[Handel]

it's fine, though, because they're making their own decisions and i'm just encouraging. it's not like i'm tying them to a bed an forcefeeding them. they're also over 18.

[gta]

37 minutes ago, Handel said:

it's fine, though, because they're making their own decisions and i'm just encouraging. it's not like i'm tying them to a bed an forcefeeding them. they're also over 18.

If you were to post this sentiment on an AA message board, you'd be called out for enabling. Don't act like an innocent bystander in someone's suffering, like most of those husbands/boyfriends/parents on that 600lb life show. Treat uncontrollable overeating like an addiction, for what it truly is. There's a reason why Overeaters Anonymous became a thing a few years ago.

 

Anyways, as for Jabba's post, I have to agree with the prior sentiment that you're thinking too hard about it. I had this attraction to fat/oversized long before puberty. Cartoons would make me feel funny when episodes featured weight gain or overeating as a topic. I didn't know the complex emotion of harming someone for pleasure by the time I stumbled across stuffed online all those years ago.

 

Liking curves isn't a crime. Enabling someone to gain beyond any point of control is cruel and manipulative. I don't believe in the "it's their choice" argument, I think that's a lame cop out on responsibility. We're a society just like mainstream, and we can pressure people into undesirable situations for personal gain.

[Dr. Feeder]

Good topic. I don't entirely agree with you and personally have doubts sure about many of these issues. But I do feel that feedists should consider these questions, paraphrased below. I've also added my take on them:

Stealth feeding equivalent to rape?

Pretty much! It's incredibly messed up to trick, manipulate, force or cajole someone to gain weight (or lose weight!) against their will.

Why are we like this? My theory:

In "The Day Before Yesterday" Jared Diamond describes some traditional societies (they aren't called "primitive" anymore) who experience periodic food shortages. They gorge themselves in times of plenty so they have enough fat to get through the lean times.

I figure in such societies feedism would be adaptive and thus a propensity towards feedism would evolve. This does not describe all societies at all times (after all, storing food in a shed or something, when possible, is much more efficient than carrying it around as fat). But I'm sure many of our ancestors lived in such places at one time or another. So some of this have these (arguable atavistic) feedist tendencies.

Is feeding ever okay?

I think if consenting adults (or adult in the case of self-feeding) want to do this in moderation it's fine. Some people are just happier fat. Happiness is good for your health and may mitigate some of the health risks of gaining. Gaining in moderation is safer than a lot of things people do, e.g. playing football, smoking, hang gliding, etc. Are you opposed to all such activities? 

Now, when the feedee gets really gigantic it's more problematic. Still, there are feedees who really want that.  If you find it immoral to even log in to a website that promotes or even tolerates those extremes, I don't know what you're doing here.

What do you mean, "moderation"?

A hard line to draw. My own feeling is that getting so big that it's crippling isn't worth it. Also binge eating disorder should be avoided. Though I've chatted with feedees who love to stuff themselves to the max frequently. I'm not sure that's the same thing as binge eating disorder (after all, if they don't want to stop, is it really a disorder?) but it's certainly dangerous. 

 

 

[Handel]

You are all some serious boner killers.

If it was really that bad, there would be a law against it. Plain and simple.

It's not like I'm not suffering as well: I have to pay for all of this. They get to sit back and live life to the fullest while I have to make the bacon that feeds them.

It is my bacon and I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it (as long as it's not against the law).

I bet you are all pretending to have moral qualms with feederism because you can't afford to make a woman gain hundreds of pounds, so in your eyes if you can't do it no one should be able to.

Sick. People like that make me sick.

Edit: btw, right now I'm fattening 6 different women. Half of them pretend to hate it but I tell them they look amazing and they don't mind after that. My most surprising subject is my mother-in-law, because for a long time she was crazy concerned about how fat her daughter got. Now she lives with us and is getting the most amazing obese body herself and stopped bitching about my wife's fat.