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Old flame has gone from skinny to bbw


gLs3

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So recently an old friend of mine from about 4 years ago started talking to me again. I really liked her back then and still do today since we’ve been talking. But she kept telling me I’m out of her league now. I was trying to get her to tell me why. She was saying that I wouldn’t like her. After some fishing and kind words I got her to tell me why. She said I’m actually fat now. I said how that’s ok and everything but she wouldn’t send me a recent picture. I said a little chub is ok and she said it’s more than a little. Also said let’s just you wouldn’t be able to bench me. We talked about the gym and she showed interest in wanting to get Back into it. Asked what her goals would be and she said to be less fat. Asked how much less fat and she said 62 pounds. So from everything she has said I know she has gained quite a bit. Not sure I’ll see her. I hope so. But how do I get to show me or tell me more about her weight? 

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7 minutes ago, Weightwatcher said:

Don't pretend you haven't noticed she's gained so much weight. Just tell her she looks good.

I have been saying that. Just not sure what she actually looks like. Can’t get a pic. She said for me to remind her tomorrow tho. So maybe 

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9 hours ago, Weightwatcher said:

Does she live near you? You could ask her for coffee/lunch/to the pub etc

I’m trying to get her to go to a movie with me but she is nervous I want to see her so soon. Said she will check her scheldule. Just hope she doesn’t put it off 

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So I was able to get her to send a pic and wow she certainly gained. More than I thought it was. I might share a before and after pic with her face cropped out. But I do really like her and want to remain respectful but at the same time would love to read people’s reactions. Oh the delimas of life 

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4 minutes ago, jff86 said:

But she wants to lose all that weight and you want her to keep it all, yes?

She has hinted she wants to loose weight but seems uncommitted. Saying things like i like I should get back into the gym but we will see. And she gets super excited when I start talking about food 

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1 minute ago, jff86 said:

I think most people do!

She seems very interested in eating. Even challenged me to a pizza eating contest lol she keeps calling herself shamu or tells me not to moo at her when I see her. At least she knows she’s gained quite a bit of weight but it looks good. She looks better now! 

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Pizza eating contest while referencing her weight with terms like shamu?  And after admitting she's gained over 60 pounds? Sounds like she's fishing for acceptance by you of lifestyle choices she has already made. This is typical when, at one level, one is enjoying freedom from their own sizeism and feelings of guilt but, at another level, not yet totally comfortable with the uniqueness it brings in regards to judgmental third parties.

Since you seem to totally approve of the change I feel the two of you will be off to a good start.  I recommend letting her set her own pace when ordering or eating, then build the relationship on other common interests.  Please keep us posted.

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20 minutes ago, Observer10 said:

Pizza eating contest while referencing her weight with terms like shamu?  And after admitting she's gained over 60 pounds? Sounds like she's fishing for acceptance by you of lifestyle choices she has already made. This is typical when, at one level, one is enjoying freedom from their own sizeism and feelings of guilt but, at another level, not yet totally comfortable with the uniqueness it brings in regards to judgmental third parties.

Since you seem to totally approve of the change I feel the two of you will be off to a good start.  I recommend letting her set her own pace when ordering or eating, then build the relationship on other common interests.  Please keep us posted.

Thank you I will keep that in mind! And I will keep updating 

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5 minutes ago, le_gone said:

Yeah ! She blossomed nicely, she should be proud of such change, you should tell her !

I’m trying to without coming off weird. I keep telling her she looks good. Trying to build her confidence without over complimenting her if that makes sense 

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1 hour ago, gLs3 said:

I’m trying to without coming off weird. I keep telling her she looks good. Trying to build her confidence without over complimenting her if that makes sense 

Yeah let it come naturally and be chilled  talking to her, asking her out and being out with her. I know you really liked her before and therefore also do now, and that you find her looks super attractive, but don't continuosly talk about her looks and their awesomeness, talk about other stuff too, and when it naturally comes to you, compliment her. Obviously compliment her when she talks about her weight, which then you would have to comfort her about :)

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25 minutes ago, schumacher said:

Yeah let it come naturally and be chilled  talking to her, asking her out and being out with her. I know you really liked her before and therefore also do now, and that you find her looks super attractive, but don't continuosly talk about her looks and their awesomeness, talk about other stuff too, and when it naturally comes to you, compliment her. Obviously compliment her when she talks about her weight, which then you would have to comfort her about :)

Thank you for the insight. This scenario is new to me so doing my best to approach it right :)

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