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Wife has gained about 50 pounds in a year


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Long time lurker. I need some advice,  been with my wife girlfriend for about 10 years. She's always been overweight, 5'4 and about 180. Always been self conscious about her weight. She went on a crazy diet about 2 years ago. Dropped to about 145. Stop dieting...Put about 40 on in a year. Now has easily gained another 50 to 75 in the last year. Biggest she's ever been and keeps getting fatter. I love it. However she hates it but really doesn't do anything about it. I've told her multiple times i love her at this weight and i love touching her belly. But she hates it. Any advice for encouraging a girl who has hated her weight for years but loves eating but anytime i try to incorporate her belly into sex she freaks out? I think if she embraced the gain, she'd be so much happier because i would spoil her with snacks and fold all the time, but i don't want to encourage her to get bigger cause she freaks out when weight is brought up.  

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Couple questions:

Hiw old is she?  The reason I ask is because my wife was very similar to yours....but at an older age 40+ my wife began to not be as concerned with trying to stay thinner.  In fact at around 185 lbs. now at 5’ 3” she seems to act way less concerned than when she was 140 lbs.  she eats larger meals all the time enjoys wine and deserts almost every night and doesn’t make to much out of it when she can’t fit into her old sizes anymore.  She actually just had me bring several huge boxes of clothes to charity....when I asked her why so many....she simply said “they don’t fit anymore and I don’t think I will ever be that size again”.  

Even the ultra thin fri nds of hers now still telatively skinny by our thoughts now have a slight belly love handles, bigger asses and fatter arms.  A few of her skinnier friends are now bigger than her.

So depending on age you definitely have that tonlook forward to....with your wife not being as hung up on her weight gain.  My wife plops down on the couch now after eating as large of meal as myself and starts right in on a pint of Ben n Jerry’s with her belly bulging out lying on her lap.....doesn’t think twice about getting even fatter it seems....which I absolutely love her care free attitude now.  But trust me she used to be nothing like this until 3-4 years ago.

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37 minutes ago, Voluptuouslover said:

Couple questions:

Hiw old is she?  The reason I ask is because my wife was very similar to yours....but at an older age 40+ my wife began to not be as concerned with trying to stay thinner.  In fact at around 185 lbs. nowlo at 5’ 3” she seems to act way less concerned than when she was 140 lbs.  she eats larger meals all the time enjoys wine and deserts almost every night and doesn’t make to much out of it when she can’t fit into her old sizes anymore.  She actually just had me bring several huge boxes of clothes to charity....when I asked her why so many....she simply said “they don’t fit anymore and I don’t think I will ever be that size again”.  

Even the ultra thin fri nds of hers now still telatively skinny by our thoughts now have a slight belly love handles, bigger asses and fatter arms.  A few of her skinnier friends are now bigger than her.

So depending on age you definitely have that tonlook forward to....with your wife not being as hung up on her weight gain.  My wife plops down on the couch now after eating as large of meal as myself and starts right in on a pint of Ben n Jerry’s with her belly bulging out lying on her lap.....doesn’t think twice about getting even fatter it seems....which I absolutely love her care free attitude now.  But trust me she used to be nothing like this until 3-4 years ago.

Thanks for the responses ! 

 

So few more details. Shes 31. And she hates the weight. Shes sad because she thinks now is her time to be skinny.  Her eating habits are that she's a binge eater. Eats regular meal portions but will sit on the coach and mindlessly eat a whole bag of chips. She also will go to dunkin on the way home,  grab an iced cofee and 2 donuts.  She also also will never say no to eating out. So basically everything is working perfectly to her getting fatter but she has these emotional breakdowns all the time.  I want to just tell her about this community but i also don't what her to freak out because she doesn't enjoy the slightest idea of being fat. Basically just should i continue to let her go on the path or try to help her by encouraging her. So she can feel good about herself. 

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I'm a pessimist when it comes to these things.

Your girl is a fatty and she will continue her fattening because of her uncontrollable eating. This is nice but it would be so much better if she would enjoy it and, most importantly, allow you to enjoy it too.

When all you get is resentment and sadness/anger when you touch her fat well, that's a real bad sign. Give it time and not only will what turns you on turn her off, you will feel guilty about it too. So, guilt plus "no go zones" makes for a lifetime of crappy sex.

Most common FA problem out there- she gets fat but she hates it and you, for making or enjoying her fat.

Fatland is littered with such wreckage.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yep.... unfortunately, previous poster is quite correct.  I remember many years ago, briefly dating this gal I met on Craigslist personals who was a self-proclaimed SSBBW.  I quickly discovered she was very unhappy at her size, though, and constantly wanted to chat about her plans to lose weight. I tried to explain to her that I was actually interested in bigger women because that was truly my preference, and it wasn't necessarily a "bad" thing. But all that did was make her decide I had some kind of mental problem or weird desire to sabotage women. She stopped talking to me over it and I found out she even signed up to be a contestant on that "Biggest Loser" TV show shortly afterwards. (I was so put off by her reaction that I never did follow up to see if she actually made it on the show....)

 

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Hate to probably accidentally be the most PC response, but I do think this is something you can talk through in a marriage. Go to couples counseling if you have to—be frank that you’ve found her more and more attractive lately, you don’t want her to miss out on life, and ask what you can do to help make her feel good regardless of her weight. Be on the same team, even though you’re coming from different points of view on this. Ultimately, if she can feel good while being bigger, and you can be sympathetic to what it takes to get there, you both win. 

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taking the long view, you're not probably in a bad spot, easy to gain, hard to lose, easier to accept it and enjoy it, but in the mean time, it can be an emotional wrecking ball, nothing better than the girl who happily eats and accepts whatever comes, as for a true gainer, they are so rare that it is unfair to us to expect that they celebrate a bigger belly in these days

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