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Sometimes the baby weight stays


oatmeal

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Been trying but she has been on to my game. Dosent let me fix her food. Thankfully she hasnt cut out drinking so i do my best to maximise her liquid calories. Trying not to over play my hand and let her give up on her own accord. I just dont want her to break all her bad habbits like late night carbs.

She bought a shit ton of vitamins to start taking and i tried to add feunelgreek but she caught that shit. Would opt for some higher cal protein powder but she does smoothies so rarely it wouldnt be worth the trouble.

We have some events coming up, birthday party, garage sale, valentines trip, and i hope the stress of making everything mom perfect gets her less focused on dieting and more on living life.

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Delectable observation: standing she turned 90 degrees and her thighs rotated closer to 100 degrees. Its hard to explain exactly but her thighs are so big and wobbly that the momentum of simply turning caused them to rotate past 90 and then jiggle back. I could tell by watching the cellulite.

In other good new we have a weekend planned where she is going to clean out the closet of everything that doesnt fit her. Some might say thats decluttering but i think its a step towards acceptance. "Im never going to be this thin again so might as well make room for more fat clothes"

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Not sure how i would capture that with a photo. Would need like a hi-def slow mo video camera and her help recreating. Considering she doesnt know i make these posts me providing video evidance seems unlikely.

I dont really feel comforrable posting other pics. If she ever found out then she would be super mad. Sure people here might appreciate it but i know she wouldnt want a bunch of guys gawking at her thighs. I would love to show her off but i would feel guilty too.

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31 minutes ago, oatmeal said:

Not sure how i would capture that with a photo. Would need like a hi-def slow mo video camera and her help recreating. Considering she doesnt know i make these posts me providing video evidance seems unlikely.

I dont really feel comforrable posting other pics. If she ever found out then she would be super mad. Sure people here might appreciate it but i know she wouldnt want a bunch of guys gawking at her thighs. I would love to show her off but i would feel guilty too.

It would be nice to see but considering its a privacy thing i get it..  just thought it was interesting and the way youwere talking was like out of Fan fic or something lol..  well that's awesome so congrats 

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As January draws to a close it seems dueting is off the agenda. She has been holding steady at 198 and over the last two weeks her attempts to reduce her portions and make smarter choices have stopped. The catalyst for the change was me being gone out of state for a wedding. She had to watch the kids by herself all weekend. She drank a box of wine and judging by bank statements lunch and dinner each day was fast food.

Since then carbs are back on the menu and she has been chowing down at dinner time. Last night she ate an entire plate of mac n cheese. She also drinks close to a bottle of wine in the evening which sometimes leads to 4th meal. Its been two weeks since she weighed in and im ki d of hopeing she ignores the scale for a while. Maybe she will sneak over 200 by Valentine's day.

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That sounds promising. Just a bottle of red wine already does 700 calories, easy. 

If you want to discourage her using the scale, besides putting it somewhere else you can drain a battery. Just put the AA's in a flash light, let it burn, then put them back. If she asks you "find out" that the batteries need changing and will buy some "next time" you go for stuff. Just delay and forget a couple of times.

 

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The past couple of nights my wife has been walking around in just panties and i have been able to really appreciate her legs. They are just so damn big! In her normal stance her thighs touch all the way to her knees. They are so big the top of her thighs partially obscure her panties in The front and stick out several inches on the side, these are XL panties.

They jiggle so much! Every step she takes causes a quake across those thighs. The front back and sides are covered in cellulite too which makes it easier to see the jiggle. Her legs are legitimately heavy too. When she throws a leg over me in bed its like a sandbag and not easy to move. Not that i would want her to move, i love those legs!

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Last night my wife was complaining about how hungry she was so i offered to make her a snack before bed. Unfortunately she was not receptive. She said "you're just trying to make me fat. I don't need food and you trying to fatten me up is not cute or funny". Suffice to say she is on to my game and not happy.

Realistically, given her activity level and diet, she isnt going to lose weight but its still frustrating. She is so close to 200 i can taste it! I want those two pounds! I'm sure when she has a belly full of food she probably is over the threshold but it's not the same.

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things are very similar on this end. she has probably lost some pounds in the last month, her usual after holidays diet... after a month she got frustrated and went on a binge weekend of pizza, burger, chocolates and pretty much everything that was on her sight it was amazing but yeah she is completely aware of my game and not really happy about it as she does want to lose some and i have to wonder if she is feeling a bit extra heavy, we live in a 2 floor house and she does gets pretty agitated after going up the stairs, which is hot for me but probably not for her... and thinking about wanting her to gain hundreds of pounds, not for everyone to enjoy the struggles that come with it, what is the key to that i wonder

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Last night my wife was complaining about how hungry she was so i offered to make her a snack before bed. Unfortunately she was not receptive. She said "you're just trying to make me fat. I don't need food and you trying to fatten me up is not cute or funny". Suffice to say she is on to my game and not happy.

It's that kind of situation I used to open the conversation. I told her I'm all for supporting her diet attempts but that I don't want to be a food cop; if she asks for ice cream I'm going to give her ice cream because I prefer her with a bit of meat on her.

That changed our discussion and discussions a lot because after that it was on her, not on me.

You too can say "look, you tell me you're hungry, I'm just offering food in response; I'm A-OK with you dieting but if you tell me you're hungry or you ask for food, don't blame me when I bring you food"

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we live in a 2 floor house and she does gets pretty agitated after going up the stairs, which is hot for me but probably not for her... and thinking about wanting her to gain hundreds of pounds, not for everyone to enjoy the struggles that come with it, what is the key to that i wonder

I think that is where you do more, take over more. As you know, I do as much as I can for my wife with two paybacks; she is as sedentary as possible and she has no reason to complain about efforts. A third payback is that if the efforts are getting too much, she doesn't notice it much, yet. 

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Cleaned out the closet this weekend and it wasnt a super fun experiance for my wife. She kept dwelling on how much weight she has gained and making comments about "never being able to fit into that again". I tried to keep it upbeat and encouraged her to keep anything close to fitting but even by those standards she is in dire need of new threads. "Keep your cardigans, those are lose fitting. No my arms are too fat for the sleeves now". Im taking her shopping this week so she can get new stuff to fit her expanded frame.

She made alot of comments about needing to lose weight but that didnt stop her from eatting pizza and drinking wine all weekend. She finished a large by herself between friday night and sunday lunch. I really think she accepts on some level that her bigger body is here to stay. Friday, after some love making that was esspecially good as she was pretty full of pizza, i was showering her with compliments and she seemed receptive. However, as i was pouring on the praise thick, she stopped me to clarify that she doesn think she is sexy and pretty and that the only reason i think she is sexy is because "I like bigger girls and now SHE is a bigger girl"

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She might not be thrilled by the prospect of filling her closet with a larger size, but getting her act together and facing her ghosts can be quite liberating. Besides, comfortable clothes do have their benefits.
If you succeed in keeping her spirits at least halfway up to ameliorate her shopping experience, she'll be making her peace all the sooner.
Her appetite seems to be alive and well, at least!
Oh, and there IS some enticing magic in the combination of food and sex...

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No idea about your income but if possible assign a monthly amount for clothes. Make buying new clothes a habit, a routine. She can go with a girlfriend or it can be a date thing with the two of you. "You said you needed some ABC -- wanna go now?"

By keeping the newer clothes coming in you prevent these watershed moments where you run the risk to trigger a serious diet attempt. 

Don't know about the climate at your place either but when Spring/Summer comes around you can bet a lot of stuff won't fit. Have money ready. 

When it's about not fitting tell her "that's true but now we're going to have the fun of buying something else"

Propose to store the clothes "for when you lose weight." This keeps the illusion alive.

As for her throwing it back at you, be open about it. Use the breast example. "Some men like big breast, some like them smaller, but when I talk about you I'm talking about how sexy YOU are"

And yes....this is the part of being a feeder too. You know this isn't her dream. Only thing you can do is make her happy, do as much for her as you can, and remember that she feels this way at 195...190...185...180...etc

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Yeah my current priority is establishing her current weight as a baseline. Get rid of all the clothes that remind her she used to be thinner. Gone are the S and Ms, It's size L or XL now. All the new stuff she is buying is size XL. She needs room to grow.

I also loaded up on wine. Nights when she sticks with a lighter drink like a vodka soda she tends to make smarter choices. When the wine flows she gets hungry and then i have a chance to fill up that belly right before bed.

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Guest MX8XV93
On 2/11/2019 at 6:29 PM, oatmeal said:

Yeah my current priority is establishing her current weight as a baseline. Get rid of all the clothes that remind her she used to be thinner. Gone are the S and Ms, It's size L or XL now. All the new stuff she is buying is size XL. She needs room to grow.

I also loaded up on wine. Nights when she sticks with a lighter drink like a vodka soda she tends to make smarter choices. When the wine flows she gets hungry and then i have a chance to fill up that belly right before bed.

Did you make sure to get lots of stretchy clothes, like leggings?

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@aspartamedoublesgains yeah she has a good supply of leggings. Her butt looks great in them.

Tuesday we took a little Valentine's day trip and spent a large part of the day shopping. New bras, jeans, and tops. However, it didnt really go how i thought it would. It was like pulling teeth to get her to shop for herself instead of the kids. She doesnt like acknowledging that she has gained weight and feels fat in everything. She was in a bad mood the whole time and at dinner she out right blaimed me for her being fat. Now at every meal she acts like i'm sabotaging her, trying to fatten her up.

All though its kinds of fun hearing her say "you're the reason I can't fit into my pants. You're the reason i gained 30 pounds!" It also sucks having her resent me. Do i enable, sure. Have i snuck a little extra butter into her eggs before, yeah. But she is being delusional blaiming the 5% effect i have on her diet and activity.

Seems like we always bicker in February so i am just waiting for everything to blow over and her to adjust to new larger clothes. Hopefully now that every morning isn't a struggle to find clothes that fit she won't be as mindful of her weight.

According to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine, women between the ages 25-44 gain about 5.2% of their body weight each year. If she ends the year 210+ i would be a happy man. Now if she wanted to gain another 30 pounds in 2019 like in 2018 that would be even better.

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The Feb of discontent continues. Lots of diet talk but not much follow through. Sunday she decided she wanted to run some laps around the back yard. A lap is 1/14th of a mile. Sfter the first lap she was winded and switched to run one walk one. She looked so awkward jogging around the yatd in her tight workout pants and top. So jiggly! Afterward she rewarded herself with wine and spent the rest of the day sitting.

I feel conflicted about the whole thing. It was good to see her get her heart rate up and she looked super hot plodding around the yard, however i hate to see her burning precious calories. Her inability to run even a 10th of a mile highlights two things. 1. Being overweight has a real impact on her life and encouraging her to be fat is kind of fucked up since she isnt into it. 2. Her inability to do basic cardio means she certainly wont be losing significant weight quickly or easily in the future.

33% of adults in my state are obese so she is in good company. At no point in our relationship has she shown interest in working out or doing adventures activities that require cardio. Her being able to run a mile isnt really impactful to her daily life as cutting out yummy food would be.

Ive also noticed she is becoming a secret eater. If i am in the kitchen she will decline another serving of pasta but if i am away she will finishe the bowl. Last night she declined my offer of food but heated herself up five taquitos. Not sure how to use this to my advantage.

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Being overweight has a real impact on her life and encouraging her to be fat is kind of fucked up since she isnt into it.

That's a hard one indeed because no matter how I turn it ("she could stop if she wants to") I enable and encourage her growing. So.... And god knows we're not going to be satisfied any time soon. When she has gained she has to get heavier, and when she's heavier she's going to have to get bigger. 

Besides just accepting you also have to remember it makes it nice for both of you. She would want to be able to eat without consequence. In a way being with a man who loves her big makes that her eating has no (bad) consequence so. there she goes!

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Ive also noticed she is becoming a secret eater. If i am in the kitchen she will decline another serving of pasta but if i am away she will finishe the bowl. Last night she declined my offer of food but heated herself up five taquitos. Not sure how to use this to my advantage.

Nice! Food-junkie behavior can only be encouraged.

Probably time to make sure you have leftovers to store in the fridge, if that is your household. Make sure she has things to grab & eat. And when you have a leftover like pasta, stir in some extra cheese before putting it away.

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I will come in with my 5 cents only because I have been feeling myself a bit guilty lately, if we are not 100% honest here where it absolutely doesn’t matter if we tell truth or lie then what is left. A bit of introduction, an FA fellow, just happy with a wife who has gained some weight, considerable weight to be honest. I’ll try to make this short so I can give you enough preview but go to the point quickly enough. When we started dating she was 125pounds, which was ok for the pettite 5’1 frame, and hope for me was that she has had a big appetite, not just for her size but for any size, on free mode she usually eats at least the same as me, and, me, being over 6ft, well, time should do its job I thought. And it happened just like that. Combining that with the fact that she is not a big fan of exercising, and a pregnancy in between she has now a fairly different figure.

 

Of course during these years, (6 to be precise) there have been several episodes of weight loss attempts, diets, shopping bigger clothes, refusing to throw away the smaller clothes, being really mad at food and then loving it, a bit of everything you can imagine. After the holidays clocking in at barely over 190 pounds she is safely in the obese category. Her beautiful frame has expanded like a work of art, almost evenly giving me a big ass, boobs and a belly to enjoy. With that being said… I have to admit that considering all the gain has been pure fat because she does not exercise, I have to admit that her long term health outlook could be better. The FA in me of course has enjoyed all of it, every failed diet and every pound that has come and for some moments her as well but not truthfully I think. The FA in me would love it if she went all in on gaining for a few months, get her weight to double and live the dream.

 

But the father and husband in me would like her to be able to chase our daughter around and not to be out of breath trying to zip some jeans and her to feel a bit more at peace with her body, that is a never ending quest and I guess I am not the only one with a situation like that.

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I dont feel guilty when she out grows clothes but i do worry about her long term health. If she were having health issues it would be a real problem. So far she just wont be running any marathons.

I'm just spit balling but if i was agnostic about her weight she would probobly be 10 - 20 lbs lighter. Still obese but just barely. If i told her she should be eatting less and exercising more i do t really know how much she would weigh today. Maybe she would be 50 lbs lighter or maybe she wod be upset about how difficult shedding the baby weight is and would turn to food for comforst from her jerk husband. 

Maybe the guilt comes from knowing that if she is unfit at the current weight she will really be in trouble when she grows to the size i want her at. I also recognise that as my tastes escalate ill be pushing her further and further in a direction she doesnt want to go.

News! Wife weighed in at 199 this morning. So close! I'm seeing some serrious potential for this hidden eating thing. Last night we had chicken alfrado and she ate a portion comparable to mine. I went to play with the kids and she ate another entire portion. Just need to keep carbs available every evening.

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@extra_m13 yeah what i would'nt give for her to embrace her body. Im not that stressed about her chasing the kidos as its never been an issue but i wish she would be like "cool i may be almost 200 lbs but my husband thinks im sexy, im still awesome, and ive got a good life" i mean when i was heavier i wanted to lose weight but not as much as i wanted to have fun and do good in school etc. She needs some body positivity stat!

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This weekend i accidentally wore her festival t-shirt she bought last year. She pointed out that i was wearing her shirt and let out a sigh. I asked her if it was a women's shirt and i needed to change and she replied "no it's unisex, i just can't wear it anymore because my belly is too fat"

She has been making smarter choices and eating smaller portions but offsetting those choices with late night snacking and over eating pasta. We went on a short walk saturday and planned a longer one Sunday but after the short walk she compained her foot hurt too bad and spent most of the weekend sitting. We went to a brewery sunday and on the way home she complained about how full she was. Then she said "ug, i need to stop gaining weight"

Could just be an offhand comment but i would like to think i have shifted the conversation. She still wants to lose 30 lbs. But considering she has been trying to lose weight since the beginning of the year and ended up gaining a pound or two, maybe she has adjusted her expectations to just avoiding more pounds. Baseline of 200ish sounds wonderful.

If mentally she is focused on maintaining her size instead of losing then that makes my job easier and hopefully makes her happier. Once she is used to this size five or ten more pounds won,'t seem like that big of a deal. Goal is still 200 but eventually i would like to get her to 225 so that she is over 50% body fat. Not in a rush though as she is lovely at this size and i want her to adjust to this size and be happy.

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