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My wife and the slippery slope of FA-ism


lostonline040

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I had an idea for a meme. It reads "I prefer bigger girls." at the top, then two panels. The first reads "What that meant five years ago" with an old pic of Beccabae at like 180 pounds, followed by "What that means today" with a pic of her now at 400ish. I think that pretty accurately sums up what I've been feeling these past few years.

Really, I haven't been on Curvage much at all these past couple years in part because I feel that in many ways I don't need it anymore. Five years ago you all were my secret sounding board of like minded people with whom I could explore and examine what I had been feeling since I was atleast a teen: that I liked fat girls. Some of you may remember me from my old thread "My wife the reluctant BBW" about how my wife was gaining weight and it was driving her into depression. She was feeling all kinds of anxiety about herself and if I found her attractive and being actually bullied at work by coworkers and randos on the street. Everything changed when, after finding this site and embracing my true self and my preference for fat women, I told her that I would *prefer* if she gained weight. It changed our marriage, as Im more happy with myself as Ive come to terms with my preferences and she's become a much happier wife now at 240ish than she ever was before at 150 when we were younger. Fat talk has become part of our foreplay, part of our sex, and we even jointly fantasize about her being a "fat lazy housewife" who does little more than stay at home and get the two F's: fed and [loved].

The problem is me. I half joked to her the other night "You know what would be even better than one fat wife?" 'Two fat wives you jerk?' she joked back. "No, one *really* fat wife though two fat wives would be good too 'cuz then I could fatten them up to two *really* fat wives". At this point we're both 32 and not getting any younger. We've got 2 young children in the pre-tween age. We both know that her putting on much more weight wouldn't be good for her health. She already experiences shortness of breath and joint pain, I actively worry about her sugar intake as I want to avoid any complications from the D-word. We both *know* that she shouldn't gain more weight. Yet, here I am, finding myself looking at SSBBW porn more than anything (damn porn of any kind, ruins our ability to be satisfied) else and when I look at my wife as she is now at 5'3", 240-250lbs I feel "Y'know, she's not that fat" which is ofcourse only true in our world as Fat Admirers where Queen BoBerry and her contemporaries rule the land. If fantasies could be lived without consequences and I had a magic fattening-wand she would be 400 pounds of sexy rolls and belly easily. Ehh, why not make it a nice round 500.

Don't get me wrong, I love her, shes my best friend and we have a very candid honest relationship that only develops from knowing each other literally half our lives now. I find her more attractive now than I ever have and its not only physically but also because  shes happier and more confident than ever. But if Im being honest with myself, which in my mind is where coming to terms with being an FA began in the first place, I do wish she was different, better, or could change; I wish she was fatter.

We're dealing with it, and as Ive learned of most problems in adulthood: the problem cannot be solved, only managed. Thanks for reading.

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If this aint the truth. When I first started exploring this world, I generally gravitated to photos of girls in the 180-210 range. "I would never want my wife any bigger than 200". She's so dainty, barely 5'3" and was less than 100lbs at the time. Doubling her size would be more than dramatic enough for me. But here we are a couple years later, her at 180 - and now it often feels like it's "not even close to enough" for me. 225 would seem perfect - but I can already identify my eyes pouring more over women in the 300 range. Suffice to say, I'm certain I would feel a level of dissatisfaction at any weight.

 

The threads of men dealing with their SO losing gives me an attitude of thankfulness that she's still maintaining and growing at the size she's at.

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Guest Vladimir Putin

I guess this makes me glad my sexuality is not solely focused on weight and even my weight "fetish" is not based on sheer volume.

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2 hours ago, Vladimir Putin said:

I guess this makes me glad my sexuality is not solely focused on weight and even my weight "fetish" is not based on sheer volume.

Ditto. Out of my recent experience, at first I was a little disappointed that my wife did not end up bigger after pregnancy than prior to it - she actually lost 4 pounds - but she now has this super-hourglass figure, with big butt and thighs, wide hips, quite big breasts (now with a bit of extra thanks to nursing) and a quite narrow waist with a little bit of a soft belly in front. I mean sure, I'd still enjoy it a lot if she got fatter and even more so if a lot fatter, but when I see her with that 115-90-120, I really don't feel like anything's missing :D.

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Guest Bigasstaco

Yeah, I remember the first time I fell head over heels for a girl in my high school who gained weight, I thought she had gotten so fat. In retrospect she was maybe 5'7 150lbs.

Those days, anything over 200 seemed excessive to me. Then college came around, and anything over 250 seemed excessive. I started dating fat girls, and I used to be embarrassed by the ones around 200lbs (despite finding them incredibly attractive... I eventually got over that). Now my formerly skinny girlfriend is fatter than all my previous exes (whom I thought we're too fat) and I still want her fatter.

It's crazy man. You can't lose sight of your significant other as a person though, because, sure they can always be fatter, but for those of us who are a bit more mature, you eventually realize that comes at a significant personal/emotional cost.

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i totally get your point guys. we always want more because of the thrill of the gain, the excess of the eating and the bigger of the belly but yes, there are some reasonable limits to it... personally, my wife is really short, at 5'1 every pound is easy to note which is a good thing, for me anyway, she is not precisely happy gaining but she has a tendency to it, not a fan of exercise and a big appetite. she has gained some delicious weight since we started dating, going from 60kg to 85, with some yoyo diet in between, either way the long term trend is clear and i am happy with it so far. and while i do think she can gain some more i know it is better not to expect her to get to 150kg, or not to really push for it. im just happy that there is more than enough to grab and while she enjoys her food the pounds will probably continue to come in the near future, 

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Reminds me of a simpsons quote. Homer is telling Mr. Burns how rich he is and Mr. Burns replies "Yes, but i'd trade it all for a little more"

I think alot of FAs find themselves chasing that dragon of just ten more pounds. It kind of makes sense in a way, if this booty or belly or whatever is great, wouldnt it be even better just a little larger. 

I also think that many old ideas about whats too big can get thrown out the window when over time a person or model you are attracted to gains and crosses one of your old red lines.

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