Wife/girlfriend vs porn/fat websites

[littlewanderer]

I am a feedee and my boyfriend is a feeder. We met on ** several years ago. I feel really lucky to have found him. We are complimentary in so many ways. I always wanted to meet and fall in love with a feeder and if we get married I would like to let go and get really big. Ive gained about 30 lbs in the years we have been together. 

Here is my issue. I recently found that he has profiles on **, ff, and a couple other dating websites. His profiles list his location, height, weight and age. He does not have pictures posted or say that he is single. 

You may wonder how I found these profiles. Lately he goes through periods where he disengages from me. He does not text me as much or show affection. It is very hurtful to me and makes me feel unwanted and I cared for. I can feel his mind is somewhere else. I just had a hunch and signed up on ff and ** and found his profiles. I know it is him by the screen name, location, etc. 

A lot of men on here are married or in relationships. How do you reconcile being in a relationship and looking at other women online and even jerking off to them? I know the majority of men do this, but I guess what I am asking is, how do you feel about your wife/girlfriend vs the women you look at? Do they occupy different spaces in your mind? Does your wife/girlfriend know or care about your online proclivities? Do you feel it affects your ability to connect with her? Are you looking for someone new or just blowing off steam? 

I guess to me it is very hurtful. I feel I cannot compete with the plethora of “perfect” seeming online models and women who hold a mysterious allure. Also, I am also concerned if he is having intimate sexual conversations with other women. I am not sure what to do. 

[John Smith]

@Jabba Desilijic Tiure @Avataг

I thought the majority of men here are bachelors.

[littlewanderer]

I think this should have been posted in the lifestyle forum.. is there any way it can be moved? 

[Avataг]

52 minutes ago, littlewanderer said:

I think this should have been posted in the lifestyle forum.. is there any way it can be moved? 

1 hour ago, John Smith said:

@Jabba Desilijic Tiure @Avataг

I thought the majority of men here are bachelors.

[maybejames]

In answer to one of your questions, I agree with you, I think for most guys being in a happy relationship and looking at porn online is fairly normal. Guys don't normally form emotional bonds to the plethora of “perfect” models they sees online, not in the same way that your boyfriend has formed a bond with you. I think you are close to the mark by saying he is probably 'just blowing off steam', by acting out fantasies in his head with a little help from the 'net.

If he is having sexual conversations with other women online then that is obviously crossing the boundary of trust a couple in a relationship have together. Without hard evidence you have to assume he isn't, if you start wrongly accusing him you risk becoming the overly paranoid girlfriend.

The best solution is probably to talk to him openly about this. Communication & trust are the foundation of a healthy relationship. If his involvement in this community is hurting you then let him know. Try asking him those six questions 😋

[extra_m13]

i think i understand the situation and yes, as in any other relationship communication is key and a talk must take place in order for you to address those issues... personally i think it is very normal but if you are in a serious relationship there something must be said, specially since you are willing to gain... sometimes we looks for women gaining weight on the internet because we can't find any of that at home but you seem to have a gem in house, make sure to keep the conversation honest and civilized... best of luck !

[Voluptuouslover]

Littlewanderer....I can see your concern....but I think it is best you talk to him about it.  It may be hard for you to formulate thoughts of what to say and start the conversation with but you may find out it is not as big of a concern as your mind started wandering and escalated.  Also, talks and even slight arguments can be good for a relationship.

It is hard but you should have more open dialogue together....I don’t  know if you already have with regards to your gaining....how much you both would like you to gain, what are both of your biggest arousals with gaining etc etc.  Open communication is the best and I know it isn’t easy for most couples.  I am married and come to these boards when there is a void of weight gain in my relationship or if my wife happens to be on a down trend with weight.  I only am interested in her and can be reflected a lot of times in my posts.  My wife isn’t interested in gaining but she does because she has a big sweet tooth and tends to over eat....and I am as happy as can be when she continually gains weight or even maintains her gains.  She thinks she is Fat already where as I would love her to get much bigger.  I don’t discuss that with her because I do t think she could relate to why I would want her that big....I just let things happen naturally and hopefully she keeps gaining and getting bigger.

So there are a million different scenarios but I would imagine most of the men who are in a committed relationship or married that come to these boards is because there wife isn’t as Fat as they would like or they come for the stories of others weight gain for weight gain arousal and many of them tend to discuss their own wife’s while they are gaining because they live it so much.

hope this helps!