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Habituating my wife to weight gain [updates]


allgrownup

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Yeah I'm not into immobility but it is kind hot when they have trouble doing basic things. Visable proof they aren't the same fit girls they used to be. My 2 year old  chased my wife from the bedroom to the kitchen and back and she was visably winded. It really drives home what a lazy pamppered life she lives.

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She's behaving very nice, having a hard time to fight against her body's cravings. She has her breakfast (the usual, prepared by me, clocking in at 600 calories), and then tries to "diet" by simply not eating. As the day progresses she gets more and more hungry until she caves and asks what we have. I then suggest whatever I'd like her to eat, and she goes for that.

Cake isn't something I have to "force" on her by suggesting it; she asks for it or grabs it herself. When she grabs it, she takes a larger portion than I usually give her. Yesterday she asked for cake just as she was about to go to sleep; "I'm hungry, my belly is hungry - give me cake" Which I did and then she listed what other types of cake she'd like me to buy (BUT, remember, she doesn't want to get bigger than what she is now)

She's also asked for haagen dazs specifically, by name, where she used to ask for ice cream. Haagen dazs has twice the calories so I consider it a win that she's getting used to that.

Some days she eats more, some days less, but overall I manage to keep her at a surplus, above her 1934 maintenance calories. Not all of that is her own eating pattern of course. Any meal that has liquids in it, I replace the liquid with cream. I know she doesn't lose weight by herself, and that she's big and always going to be bigger, but I think we can speed that up a little bit; make that feeling of defeat a little bit more pronounced over time.

As for today, so far she had almost 1800 calories, 800 of which came from cream. She asked for cheese cake yesterday so that's what she's going to have for supper, then probably some chips in the evening.

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Although this journey of encouraging and enabling her is about 1.5+ year long now, the major changes have come in the past year since I had her break through 200 lbs as a gift to me.

Since then I've snacked together with her, reintroducing snack food and eating for fun, starting with small portions and packages, then working up. But your working with a reluctant woman then who firmly believes she's going to be lighter, not heavier. And if heavier, then not permanently. 

Over that time I've introduced complimentary remarks about her weight, touching and squeezing, encouraged her when she felt down for being "too" heavy, but have also increased her portion sizes. Sometimes the visible size, upping her breakfast size regularly enough until she didn't ask for less anymore, sometimes just the ingredients, like when I make her SiceKicks with 2 cups of cream and she eats most of it. That increases her appetite. Meanwhile I've been surrounding her more and more with snack food, indulgences. When she goes to bed a bag of chips is ready on her side. When she gets up cinnamon rolls are on the counter. Best one is of course that now there's always a complete cake in the house, and that she east on average one per week.

Making that environment and never being judgmental really changes how she acts. Today she continued very well by asking for Belgian waffles with butter and syrup, another portion of cheese cake, and then a bag of chips. All this in just the afternoon. 

Also changing; when I tell her she's beautiful she is resisting or arguing less. She now says something like "I'm happy you like it"

She's still reluctant, where it comes to weight gain, but she's become a willing eater -- or better said, an addicted eater; I don't think she can really stop or wants to stop. I wonder if over time I can mold her to see weight gain as a win. Maybe not sexy or exciting, but that she starts to flip her reactions to weight loss/gain.

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22 hours ago, allgrownup said:

[...] Today she continued very well by asking for Belgian waffles with butter and syrup, another portion of cheese cake, and then a bag of chips. All this in just the afternoon. [...]

Just chiming in to thank you for the regular updates. Makes for a fascinating, continuing read!

Besides... is her diet officially off?

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On 1/19/2019 at 3:49 PM, ronnie17de said:

Just chiming in to thank you for the regular updates. Makes for a fascinating, continuing read!

Besides... is her diet officially off?

Thanks Ronnie; sometimes I'm not certain the updates are boring.

In her own way she is on a diet. But take today, another completely sedentary day without any household work or anything. Breakfast hand delivered to her; 600 calories. Then she ate her way through a double portion of grits which I had prepared with cream, clocking in at 1100 calories. She regurgitated some but absorbed the brunt of the calorie load. Although she doesn't know it's cream, her body should feel the richness, and yet less than an hour later she asked (!) for a piece of cake. Just now she asks for pasta. So her body is asking for food and she obeys that call.

Yesterday evening she was already laying to go to sleep, then said "if I wasn't so ashamed I would ask for some food" I talked her into half a cinnamon roll (300 calories).

On average she overeats by 260 calories a day with peaks of 1000 calories surplus. 

She's gained 1 lbs in the past 2 weeks, according to my projections, and is soon to go to 213 lbs. If I keep it up like this she'll be grown at a rate of 2 lbs/month. Not sure that is too fast, that the shock will come too soon and too hard. 

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Guest MX8XV93
7 hours ago, allgrownup said:

Thanks Ronnie; sometimes I'm not certain the updates are boring

I follow this thread a lot too and find your stories and observations quite fascinating.  Yes; please keep us updated. : D 

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Manipulating her environment to promote weight gain isn't just surrounding her with food. Another important aspect is portion distortion.

I was thinking about that today as I prepared her a package of instant risotto, subbing a cup of water for a cup of cream, and then served her the whole thing in a large, wide bowl. Even made with just water the whole thing in 640 calories (the cup of cream adds 400 but that's another affair).

Normally you'd have a part of this as a portion. As a side dish to maybe some vegetables, a small piece of meat. And would I have fed her this bowl with ALL the risotto even as recent as a year ago she would balk at it and wonder why I give her so much. But I've consistently enlarged portions of what's good for her growth.

Sometimes I begin when she has a strong craving and feels reckless. She asks for something, like risotto, and instead of bringing her a portion I just bring it all. If she says something I say "well, no need to eat it all -- but you're hungry so just eat what you want and I'll put the rest away"

Another time she'll ask for something like pasta and I prepare one of those SideKick packages, with cream usually, and just give it all to her. In a larger bowl it looks like a normal portion, even though one package isn't meant to be eaten by one person.

Breakfast was a careful toast with a fruit. One day she wanted two toasts; I never asked and never went back to one toast. That's a golden rule: when she ups her portion once, keep that as her new baseline.

Toast with a slice of cheese became toast with spreadable cheese and a slice of cheese. Then, because we had slightly larger bread, spreadable cheese and 2 overlapping slices of cheese. Always up, always add. I've been feeding her that for months now and she would be shocked if I gave her just one slice of bread. This is her normal portion now.

Chips were a gateway snack for her. So, start with small portions. Make it seem reasonable. A controlled indulgence. Then, one day, I'm just too lazy and bang, there's the whole bag. Let her eat as much as she wants, as much as she can. Go from every now and then to putting a bag of chips on her side of the bed every evening. If she eats part of it but not all, take the leftover away the next day and put a new bag ready; always have her dig into an abundance of never ending food so she has the illusion she stops at a certain point....but in fact has eaten more than she would have had there been portion indicators.

If you need a fallback position, say you're eating as well. Bag of chips out. "I don't want all that" "No but I want to snack too". Eat at a slower pace then her. For every bunch of chips she grabs, take 1-2 and bite them. Then, slowly, stop eating or put more time between grabbing. You'll have eaten some while she is digging in. This strategy works very good in restaurants as well.


 

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Her belly is really protruding pregnancy-style but since 1-2 months some of the weight is also going to her breasts. They're much larger in the hand, heavier, fuller. 

Somewhere November she had bought a kind of sport bra that attaches with a zipper in front. The past two times when she wants to put it on, I need to help. She needs to pull both sides close together at which point I can zip them. If you don't lock the zipper by pressing it down, it just straight unzips right away.

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No, I won't be posting a photo as I've explained above.

If you think this is made up, just don't read it.

I've been writing about this way before, on Fantasy Feeder and before that on Tumblr. It's a long journey, a 1.5 year ongoing endeavor. You don't just get to "here, have your cake because it makes you beautiful" just like that. Hundreds of little steps precede it. Something said in jest here, something said half-seriously there. A topic becoming more and more open, slowly.

But I fully get you if you suspect this is fake. It would be very pathetic of me, or for me, to be doing that though. Come here and instead of just enjoy the beautiful things, come mainly and foremost to share what's going on on my side.

Anyway - enjoy the forum!

Edit/added: ah, I see you post along the same lines in oatmeal's thread. Well, I'll leave this reply for others who may come along and wonder "is this even real?!" but dude...get some style or stop trolling.

Edited by allgrownup
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Guest superbacon7

Yeah I've questioned it myself but I believe and this thread is always amazingly written and a great read, so if you do ever want to post a pic that'd be great but even if it stays text only this is a great thread, thanks for keeping us updated

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Progress and not.

She told me this morning that she has to be on a sort of mini-diet. She calls it a mini-diet because the past 6 months or so whenever diet comes into the talk I describe it as bad, a step back, we don't want to lose the hard work we did, etc. So this is like to calm me down. 

She said that when she orders clothes in her size (read: her updated, larger size) she now starts to receives clothes that don't quite fit or barely fit. And, like she said the other times, that she doesn't want to become bigger.

That wouldn't be bad, if she concedes to maintaining her weight at around 210-212 lbs. She has a reasonably puffy face this way, a very good double chin, and a pouch of a belly that's really there. She would be round but not super fat.

I know that these diet attacks are always short lived. When you read back you'll see I write about one one day, and 2-3 days later describe how she's having her cake and eating it too. But although she's eating good she dipped just below 213 again, according to my predictions.

So I think what I'll do is slow down her loss by continuing to give her her enhanced breakfast + one partly boosted meal a day. That brings her to about 1400 calories. Then let her graze in the evening on snacks; she just started her bowls of dry sugary cereal habit again. Then it's just a case of waiting it out. It strikes a nice balance between giving her a chance and keeping her fat.

Adding 1: ok, bought some cookies. A few "regular" ones that clock in at 220 cal each but also a few super cookies like you can buy at a gas station. 400-450 calories. Got her lasagna too, one of her favorite foods. Let's see how the evening and tomorrow goes :)

Adding 2: those sugary cereals sure are nice too. She snacks on them to cut down on her chips intake.... But 50 grams of them are 210 calories (vs chips 250). I just brought her a bowl worth 340 calories. I love healthy snacking ;)

Edited by allgrownup
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On 1/24/2019 at 2:16 PM, allgrownup said:

So I think what I'll do is slow down her loss by continuing to give her her enhanced breakfast + one partly boosted meal a day. That brings her to about 1400 calories. Then let her graze in the evening on snacks; she just started her bowls of dry sugary cereal habit again. Then it's just a case of waiting it out. It strikes a nice balance between giving her a chance and keeping her fat.

Adding 1: ok, bought some cookies. A few "regular" ones that clock in at 220 cal each but also a few super cookies like you can buy at a gas station. 400-450 calories. Got her lasagna too, one of her favorite foods. Let's see how the evening and tomorrow goes :)

Adding 2: those sugary cereals sure are nice too. She snacks on them to cut down on her chips intake.... But 50 grams of them are 210 calories (vs chips 250). I just brought her a bowl worth 340 calories. I love healthy snacking ;)

 

Doesn't sound like her diet is going very well ;)

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Yes, "healthy"  snacks can pack in a lot of calories. Granola bars (regular and chocolate covered) and granola cereal with raisins, nut mixes (especially the ones with chocolate), "low carb" editions of carbs (for example, Cheezits or chips), veggie pasta covered in Alfredo sauce, smoothies.

You can even find online dieting articles that list "healthy" foods that are really fattening, so you can get more ideas.

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Let's see where we are with her at the end of this month.

She was 211.8 when we started. 

Food intake has been controlled by me every day, providing the meals, suggesting the snacks, etc. Her calorie needs started at 1934, now at 1942. 

As much as possible she's been kept sedentary. Twice a day about 20 steps to get from our bed to her favorite chair.  A handful of times 10-15 steps to go to the toilet. If it is a day where she feels active and does the laundry you can add another 10-15 steps 2 or 3 times. Food, coffee, tea; everything gets brought to her by me. And if she forgot something, I get it for her and bring it to her.

She averaged a daily intake of 2173 calories. Her lowest intake was 1600, highest 2922.

According to my projections that puts her at 213.54 lbs today; an increase of 1.74 lbs.

She's been helped maintaining by some boosted meals where she would have 1 to 2 cups of cream in her food. The rest is her own doing and increasingly her own choice.

Around the middle of the month when she got a piece of cake she requested I buy cheese cake the next time. This week she called from her bed and asked for a cinnamon roll as a breakfast follow-up.   I brought some pie and she finished it in two sessions, asking I buy pie more often. The next day when I went out she said "and bring me back pie! Two!" I serve them by quarters with 1-2 tbsp of cream.

Yesterday was an especially inspiring day where she couldn't silence her cravings. She had salad without dressing, cake, pie with some cream, ice cream, chips.

Today she asked for pie again in the afternoon, then for chips as follow-up; one of the rare times she has those during the day.

Psychologically she's in between denial and acceptance. At least twice this month she said she wanted to lose weight. Yesterday before her cravings she said "it's time we eat normal and healthy again" When her bra was difficult to close and I suggested buying a new, larger one she said she was NOT going up in clothing size. But she did buy 2 new leggings "that's the only thing that fits me, I have no more jeans" and just today "I bought 2 pair of jeans that fit me"

She loves her body creams and loves me creaming her; she doesn't complain about the attention her belly gets and listens to and accepts compliments or remarks about it.

Sometimes she moves her own hands over her belly, moving and sizing the fat mass.

My own take on it is that on the one side she hates the idea of being big & ugly (as she sees it) while on the other side this is all different and acceptable this time around because I encourage it and talk with pleasure and compliments about it. 

Physically it's amazing what a difference 1.74 lbs of fat can make. Her face is more bloated more often; almost consistently now. Her belly, when she bends over, is a large hanging pouch.  When I lay on top of her there is a big ball pushing against my belly, pushing me away from her. Her belly is really a work of art; a food baby. A woman pregnant. That kind of sticking out. Breasts are growing too now but not much or not fast. The sideboob tiers have grown a lot and stick out very nicely; sometimes when she walks she extends her arms away from her body because of it. Backfat hasn't changed a lot. Legs neither. She has a very square build and the majority of growth seems to be in her belly.

I have some cream left and will use that in 1 or 2 SideKicks meals in the coming month but my plan is to leave her to her own food intake. That might help in bringing the speed of her growth down a bit: almost 2 lbs per month might be a bit too much too fast. As she tends to not want to go up I keep thinking it's maybe better if it sneaks up on her over a longer period.

The scales are still put away and so far she has made no use of them. Out of sight out of mind.

I still enjoy the process of growing her. She enjoys the lifestyle and the attention. There is no nervous breakdown so to say. She's learned to ask for her own crap food and finds an abundance of chips, pie, cake, cinnamon rolls, and large cookies a normal thing now. So I think I'll continue coming month and see where we go from here.
 

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Good question indeed.

She's around 5 feet 6. I usually err on the side of caution and calculate her at 5 feet 7. So she's either 33.4 or 34.5. In both cases she's inching closer to 35 "severely obese"

She can easily do a BMI of 40. She's been there before (see the start of this thread). Due to her square build it also takes a long time before she really looks fat fat. 

You know how it is with this addiction; you go up gradually. For now my goal is to have her at 215-220, hopefully followed by 230.  The end goal is to grow her back to 250 but we'll see if we ever get there.

Thanks for asking!

 

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This process takes serrious determination. Great attention to detail in your posts. Also lots of helpful ideas. 

I know we wont ever see a picture of your lovely wife but is there anyone you think she looks similar to. You said she has a square shape.

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Guest MX8XV93
7 hours ago, oatmeal said:

This process takes serrious determination. Great attention to detail in your posts. Also lots of helpful ideas. 

I know we wont ever see a picture of your lovely wife but is there anyone you think she looks similar to. You said she has a square shape.

I'm not sure I know what you mean by a "square" shape either?  What parts of her are bigger than usual for her weight--and what parts are smaller?

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Today she announced she's 220 lbs and needs to lose weight now; it needs to go down.

I don't think she's weighed herself as there's no record of it (I use a wifi scale and can see her weigh-ins).

I told her I understand that she wants the weight to go down. That I'll get salad, some snap peas to snack on for the evening. And that I adore her face. That I'm thrilled by how beautiful she is. That I love cuddling with her at night. "I love how you look, I love how you feel"

She asked for apple pie. With ice cream. Then for chips (she ate half the bag). Then for french fries & chicken strips.

I wonder if she was just testing to see if I will like her if she's heavier or still like her heavier?

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Another one I can read in two ways.

She said she's ordered 2 larger pair of jeans because she has no jeans that fit her anymore. Then she said "so either they'll fit or they'll fit me later"

I'd love to understand that like "if they're too big I'll fit them later" but maybe she means "if they're a size too small my diet will make me fit them later"

Don't know.

But... She woke up last night to go to the kitchen and have a piece of pie (as we all know, a piece of pie is a quarter of a pie). This afternoon she had some again. Last couple of days she's basically been eating half a pie a day. These are fresh made so I have no calorie counts on them but I'm estimating it at 300 calories per quarter.  And although there is salad, she hasn't had any, didn't ask for it, nothing. She did have a regular meal though, a frozen dinner kind of thing at 350 calories. Maybe she'll snack tonight, not sure yet.

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