Need some help figuring things out

[Newgirl 12345]

Hello, I am very new to forums of any kind especially this one but I am a little lost and don’t know where to turn. So here’s a little background

I dated a guy for 5 years that constantly told me I was to heavy for him (long story short i finally broke up with him) which was great I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and was a little worried I was gaining to much weight, and then I meet my current boyfriend we have only been together a few months but about a month into our relationship he told me that he was a FA and he was into “all of it” and to be honest i had no clue what that was and was a little upset when he told me. Since then I have done a lot of looking things up online and figuring out some of what this is all about and certain aspects of this really turn me on but I don’t know what he is into or how to get him going and he doesn’t like to talk about it. But there are so many different things that I would be open to trying and he seems to want to just ignore it. I want him to be satisfied in bed and like the way I look. I am not sure if he is just uncomfortable with it or if it’s something I am doing wrong. I am not to big right now about 175lbs, I was about 165lbs when we started dating.  but I have been told since a young age that I had a curvy body type. And never thought to embrase it, I was always a little embarrassed by it.  Anyway I could just really use some help I have so many questions and I am just not sure where to look for answers. 

Should I just be blunt and ask him straight up, like I know he likes to play with my stomach which really turns me on but i wanna show him he can be himself with me and I want to see if I am turned on and into other things involved. 

Thanks in advance for any advice! 

 

[>_< 0_0]

He sounds pretty shy -- really shy actually. Like, he's admitted he's an FA and now he's all quiet, so I think he feels like he's accidentally admitted too much about himself and feels like he's too weird. If you tell him it's not that weird after all, he might open up (slowly, I think). I reckon he's secretly read/watched a lot of rather extreme stuff on the internet and thinks it's too extreme for most people. If you're patient, I think he'll warm up to you 🙂

[Guest M_ustang1]

So he told you he likes big girls, he tested the waters with you by opening up. You did some searching an on line and think alright some of this stuff might be kinda fun. Take him by the hand and take him to pleasure town. Show him what your comfortable with and then you can test the new waters together

[Newgirl 12345]

24 minutes ago, >_< 0_0 said:

He sounds pretty shy -- really shy actually. Like, he's admitted he's an FA and now he's all quiet, so I think he feels like he's accidentally admitted too much about himself and feels like he's too weird. If you tell him it's not that weird after all, he might open up (slowly, I think). I reckon he's secretly read/watched a lot of rather extreme stuff on the internet and thinks it's too extreme for most people. If you're patient, I think he'll warm up to you 🙂

What is to weird? I try to be a very open non judgmental person everyone is different and entitled to there own feelings and turn ons, and I have told him this and opened up to him about some of mine, so what would some of the extremes that are to extreme for most people? I’m trying to be patient I just have so many questions, and intend to be one of those people who doesn’t really know if I like it till I try it. Idk I guess I feel a little weird about the whole thing too and the more he doesn’t wanna talk about it the more confused I get. 

 

And thank you for responding ☺️

[>_< 0_0]

2 minutes ago, Newgirl 12345 said:

What is to weird? I try to be a very open non judgmental person everyone is different and entitled to there own feelings and turn ons, and I have told him this and opened up to him about some of mine, so what would some of the extremes that are to extreme for most people? I’m trying to be patient I just have so many questions, and intend to be one of those people who doesn’t really know if I like it till I try it. Idk I guess I feel a little weird about the whole thing too and the more he doesn’t wanna talk about it the more confused I get. 

 

And thank you for responding ☺️

Ah, well, everyone has their own definition of what's weird and what isn't, and the internet shows them all if you look hard enough (ahem, DeviantArt). For example, some people are sexually stimulated by bondage, which is what made Fifty Shades of Gray so successful (not that I've read it). Others are obsessed with being eaten (I don't understand this...). I think the trick is just to roll with it, discover new things, think about it, and decide what's titilating and what isn't.

I got an idea! Has your boyfriend discovered Curvage yet? This place has plenty different types of people. Maybe when he sees all this, he can get a little more used to the FA concept as well as give you more hints of what he's into (like, is he into this type of FA, that type, this story, that story, this model, that model... stuff like that).

[KillerRamer]

Basically he seems unsure/ nervous as most things relating to this stuff kinda goes against the grain. And he probably doesn't know where to go from here and is unsure of how to continue or tackle the road ahead. He may have even had a bad experience or two sharing his preference. While you may be understanding and accepting of his desires a fair amount wont be as well and I'm sure he appreciates your acceptance. He might try and talk to you more about it if you back up a little and reassure him if he does want to try something new.  But if he doesn't want to talk about it there's nothing much to be done to understand and learn what it's about. Which you're doing which is another fantastic step. However all of it is quite a large spectrum to be honest and even he may not be aware of all it's facets. 

 

Hell he may be into things such as teasing, feeding, encouraging you to gain more, or even crushing? Honestly it's all up in the air about what "all of it" entails. That's something only he can clarify unfortunately. Maybe try and see what it is he likes about your body? Not entirely sure to be honest. 

[Newgirl 12345]

8 minutes ago, >_< 0_0 said:

Ah, well, everyone has their own definition of what's weird and what isn't, and the internet shows them all if you look hard enough (ahem, DeviantArt). For example, some people are sexually stimulated by bondage, which is what made Fifty Shades of Gray so successful (not that I've read it). Others are obsessed with being eaten (I don't understand this...). I think the trick is just to roll with it, discover new things, think about it, and decide what's titilating and what isn't.

I got an idea! Has your boyfriend discovered Curvage yet? This place has plenty different types of people. Maybe when he sees all this, he can get a little more used to the FA concept as well as give you more hints of what he's into (like, is he into this type of FA, that type, this story, that story, this model, that model... stuff like that).

I have been thinking about that a lot lately, I haven’t told him that I have been on this site or posted anything but maybe getting him to look through stuff with me will get him to open up a little bit? 

[>_< 0_0]

13 minutes ago, Newgirl 12345 said:

I have been thinking about that a lot lately, I haven’t told him that I have been on this site or posted anything but maybe getting him to look through stuff with me will get him to open up a little bit? 

Who knows? Maybe he is here. Ask him if he's ever heard of this site 🤔

[Guest high]

I think it's great you're willing to work with him, even though he sound painfully shy about it. He must really appreciate you if he opened up to you about it. Good luck, I hope you can both blossom.

[sanduskyfalls]

What are you into in regards to this stuff? It would help if we knew. 

[Newgirl 12345]

5 minutes ago, sanduskyfalls said:

What are you into in regards to this stuff? It would help if we knew. 

So I don't really know 100% because I have never done any of these things but from the research I have done, the stuff I am into I would say would probably gear more toward the person eating or over eating and gaining weight, (not sure what that falls under) although I really like when he gets really full too although he is very skinny. Ever since I was young I loved to over eat the phrase "you eyes are bigger then your stomach" was always said to me I just really like eating, somedays I literally just eat and its kinda nice to be with someone who doesn't judge me every time I eat something, and I guess since I already love eating and love my body (which after my ex took a while to love again) I want to be able to indulge his needs and wants with everything as well. I don't know if that helps. there is a lot involved and I just don't know how to approach it but ever since he told me every time I get to full I get turned on. thanks for trying to help me out and sorry if its to much information I am not good at these things or talking about this stuff :-P   

[sanduskyfalls]

Okay, now take that and tell it to him  

I will say right now, as you have this kink it matures. So imagine how many things about it turn you on now, and think of having been like that for years and years. Maybe that's why he's a little more shy about talking about it, because he's got so much time on you as far as being into this stuff. From reading your first post, it sounds like you got a little upset when he first told you, something you might want to address and say sorry for how that might have made him feel. That will hopefully make sharing things easier for him.

If you really want him to tell you everything, just say that. Don't be judgmental, no matter what you hear, because if there is stuff like that chances are that's not *all* he's into and what you are giving him in regards to that is quite enough! 

Your approaches to the kink are going to be like a Venn Diagram, you won't know what you're missing until you open up to each other.

[extra_m13]

for once i think i can give some helpful advice. you have been together a few months and you have gained 10 pounds, to 175 which is yes, curvaceous unless you are really tall or athletic. so yeah that is some weight, how has he reacted?, if he literally told you that he is an FA, aka... fat admirer i think there is no more to it but to feel how he reactions to your curves and added weight. as for you or the whole scene yes as you correctly mentioned there are many sides of it. here we have member that are in for the gain, other for the food and the pleasure, others for all of it... as for you, i think you have to identify that. because is not the same to gain weight than to help your boyfriend to gain weight. but... for what you have said i think you are in for a fantastic ride. i mean, i thin you have done the most difficult part and there are some finishing details to really take off and enjoy it all. of course you are more than welcome here and i think youll find this a very good place to talk all things curvaceous feeding gaining and some more. 

[oatmeal]

Props for making the effort to better understand your BF. Ive been on the other side of that convorsation and it isnt always fun. If you're into stuff thats considered abnormal by society its hard to openly talk about it. Everyone here knows most people arent into FA stuff so he probobly assumes you arent and feels weird talking about it. If you try to talk it out with him it can feel like you're probing to find out how much of a freak he is instead of what your actually doing which is being open and nonjudgemental. 

My davice, keep eating and if he brings it up again they say "yeah i was thinkung i might want to get a little thicker" if he doesnt take the bait then you might need to be more direct.

[Guest MX8XV93]

Or you could try just stuffing yourself all day (maybe even have him get/prepare some of the food) and watch his jaw drop to the floor...  That should be a good conversation starter.

[Newgirl 12345]

On 12/17/2018 at 10:18 AM, oatmeal said:

Props for making the effort to better understand your BF. Ive been on the other side of that convorsation and it isnt always fun. If you're into stuff thats considered abnormal by society its hard to openly talk about it. Everyone here knows most people arent into FA stuff so he probobly assumes you arent and feels weird talking about it. If you try to talk it out with him it can feel like you're probing to find out how much of a freak he is instead of what your actually doing which is being open and nonjudgemental. 

My davice, keep eating and if he brings it up again they say "yeah i was thinkung i might want to get a little thicker" if he doesnt take the bait then you might need to be more direct.

How did it go when you had the conversation if you don't mind me asking?  Have you ever been with someone willing to explore it, that wasn't into it at first but then as time went on really wanted to indulge everything about it? 

He told me when we were very drunk, and then we talked about it a little the next day and it was only a few weeks into our relationship so I wasn't the most understanding person until I looked it up and spent some really time figuring out what it meant and I am still not sure I know what it fully is.  I do think that maybe I come off probing but how else am I supposed to figure it out? he doesn't talk about eating or my curves or any of it and I want him too I like my new curves and my old ones, I don't know if I am doing something wrong in the gaining process. Speaking of which do you have any tips for gaining? 

We did sleep together recently and it was pretty awesome ( we had just had a big meal and then dessert, and then other random foods) but I was so full and it was a big turn on and the first time he actually grabbed my stomach during sex and played with it and it was great.  but what else can I do to try to get him going I feel like he shy's away from sex because he is shy about what he likes. 

 

Anyway thanks again! 

[Newgirl 12345]

9 hours ago, aspartamedoublesgains said:

Or you could try just stuffing yourself all day (maybe even have him get/prepare some of the food) and watch his jaw drop to the floor...  That should be a good conversation starter.

haha I wish it was that simple, I am not sure how to stuff myself, I have done it unintentionally many times but I don't know how to do it intentionally or in an attractive manner, any suggestions would be helpful,  

[oatmeal]

So years ago i had a 2nd Myspace profile where i was more active in thr FA world. My girlfriend, now wife, found it and was incredibly upset. She said it was disgusting, that i was gross and threatened to break up with me. Once she calmed down she had question after question. Some were easy to answer and others were hard because i didnt have an answer or was ashamed.

Easy: what's attractive about fat girls?

Hard: why are you like this? Whats attractive about cellulight?

She spent weeks asking questions, sometimes angrily, sometimes curiously. Eventually we just kind of buried it and it doesny come up unless im complementing her and she feels particularly fat.

She wasnt into exploring it but has put on 80 lbs and weighs around 200 lbs. I think knowing i like her big takes the pressure off losing weight. 

As far as advice on gaining, i know late night wine and carbs fueled her last 30 pounds but she isnt gaining on purpose, wine and taquitos are just yummy. Check my post if your interested in more detail.

[Guest MX8XV93]

11 hours ago, Newgirl 12345 said:

haha I wish it was that simple, I am not sure how to stuff myself, I have done it unintentionally many times but I don't know how to do it intentionally or in an attractive manner, any suggestions would be helpful,  

I suppose there are ways to do it "efficiently", like with heavy cream and gainer shakes to boost calories or diet soda to boost appetite and delay the feeling of fullness.  But really, you don't have to "try" to do anything.  Just go get a bunch of your favorite foods (or have your boyfriend get them for you), start eating at a pace you can sustain, and don't stop...  And if you get too full, give yourself a fifteen minute break.  Then open up a bag of snacks, keep it close to you at all times, and just keep slowly munching on it.  If he's an FA as you claim, he'll find that irresistibly attractive...