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Spouses and weight loss / gain


willngrace

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First time posting. 

I was wondering if any of you could discuss their experience or had any advice regarding this. 

I enjoy my girlfriend’s curves and softer body. She is not very big 5’7, usually around 165-70, lately perhaps around 185. She is joining a gym and wants to lose weight. I want her to be healthy and active but am also a worried about her body changing, selfishly I know.

I would not say anything to stop her from doing what she wishes. I’ll encourage her if it makes her feel better.

I was wondering how those who have dealt with similar situations felt or if you had even discussed it with your partner.

Also, maybe the other way around can be discussed. About weight gain.

 

Thank you

 

 

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I met my wife 9 y ago, she was pretty slim 5'6 130. 2y later we moved together and she gave up smoking. I was in heaven she blow up 174 and I loved it. She kept her clothes, so it was so much fun everything to see her having all these arousing issues :)

She tried to do sports but never was successful. The drama began when she tried weightwatchers and succeded ending at 130-ish again. 
For me that killed a lot of sexual attraction, but also the way of her doing it - weighing sausages slices and sweats. She kept drinking her glass of wine. Still 0 sports. Honestly that was really tough for me and she also stopped talking to me about the weightloss obviously.

2 years later on a 4 weeks holiday I surprisingly descovered a roll of fat above her skirt. Wow could'nt believe that. 

Back home she worked on weightwatchers again - again I felt shitty about it., but realized she did not get down to 130. Hope.  Next years holiday she had to wear her bikinis more often and she was definitely flabby. gain and lose is not good without sports (still). she jiggled all over despite the relatively low weight and was sporting a jiggly belly (small) as welll. 

The good thing is she has no feeling for clothes so always kind of unsupportive of her figure and looks even slim chubby.

Then she got pregnant, was relatively slim after childbirth and really blew up while breast feeding (funny shoudl be the other way round) - after my kid was 1,5y - at this time I loved her look, a 4weeks holiday helped again, she barely fit into her clothes again. She even backbited at that time on women wearing to tight pants while she just looked ridiculous herself. 
At that time she told a friend on the phone  " i only need to go 11 down for christmas - only chocolate there despite all vegitables in summer" - selfview totally screwed  - good for an FA ... 

It took her indeed 3 weeks to get down 11 or so ... again it turned me totally down... but .. she again started to where very small pants - far to small so she look due to her flabbiness super fat in these as all the untrained skinn and fat hang over ... . :) I still dont get it why she sees herself so different compared to other women she backbites on.

Since yesterday I see her belly again and she wears bigger pants again ... - so long story short it seems it is getting more dfficult each single time to keep the weight and she turned 40 now. 
so I hope no sports and her longterm inconsequence keep the fat coming. 


But for me each time it is a sexual turn off - cannot do anything about it though :( sure sad also for her. But seeing her fat spilling over her pants is just too sexy...

 

Have I talked with her about it - not clearly but she clearly knows that I like her fat , she was 2x pretty upset me complimenting her curves. a few weeks ago she said "I am not cury" once I said "I love your curves" - which is a lie as she is curvy and even her friend does not understand ... 

So you need to be patient - diet is better than sports - if mine would do sports she would keep her weight down - but I will never tell her ... 

 

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Very recognizable. This is our story. When we started dating, she was around 155 lbs (5.7 ft). Started working and she steadily packed on 20 during first year of marriage. This is where is discovered my FA fetish but I kept it for me.
Then the kids came and it was a blessing for her body. At 187 her hourglass figure was plush all over, with enormous tits (she went from E to H).
But still not at the end of her journey. There was a short fallback to 175, what made me panic. Not for long as she went up again fast due to medication. She was always craving for snacks. In one year she pasted the magic 200 and peaked at 202. I was so in love with my ‘new’ wife that I opened up about my preferences. She couldn’t understand how that was possible. She was charmed by all my attention and compliments and she was happy how I enjoyed her body.
For her it was a nightmare seeing herself in the mirror like that. She detested every pound and decided to start dieting. I love her so much so I supported her in her decision. Slowly all the goodies started to fade away. I felt the sand slipping through my hands everyday. I stayed supportive off course but I was torn inside. She was so happy and full of confidence what made me happy but at the same time I was still mourning. At 159 - rock bottom so far - her figure was a faint memory of her once voluptuous goddess’s body. Everything was so formless and tiny. No more soft thighs and saddlebags, no more back fat, gone belly rolls, bye H cup, welcome E, ...
We talked a lot about this because I had a hard time feeling attracted to her. In my mind a kept comparing to what was before.
Luckily time brought some changes physically. As her weight stabilized, her body started to reorganize. It was like the fat was reallocating to match her body’s hourglass blueprint. Hips started to widen again. Her belly stayed flat though. Her girls went up a cup size again
Her weight kept hovering around 162. Until last weeks. She rediscovered chocolate and cookies. And as I’m the shopper, I make sure to replenish the cupboard. Resulting in 165 at the beginning of December. As we were talking about our Christmas gifts for each other, the FA devil in me dared to say: please gain to 170 by Christmas. She didn’t promise anything at that moment but didn’t reject the idea too. She didn’t slow down with the munchies either.
Can you imagine how my heart skipped a beat when I checked the scale app and read 169? There were signs all over. Her face is a little rounder, she’s overflowing her bra, her back is softening, she’s wearing more often a dress and pantyhose that stretch along (although accentuating her rounding bum).
So I think I know what I’m getting under the tree because there’s nothing labeled for me.
I feel blessed and I’m enjoying these small unexpected changes. I won’t be pushing for more. We’ll see what the future will bring. Never despair, what goes up goes down and vice versa.
Happy holidays folks!

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the diet-sport or exercise talk may be a good one. i think i concurr with the general idea. as long as there isn't a habit for exercising the hope is always on the side of the FA because diets are by definition temporary and if the lady of any human , like to eat and doesn't exercise regularly they will gain weight eventually, but for sure, it is a matter of time, also, lack of sports gives a very sexy softness on the curves which we tend to appreciate as well 

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Gentlemen-

What we need to do, and what I have done, is find a woman on one of these sites who is turned on by the thought of getting fatter, even obsessed, and hopefully has had that thought even when she was a thin or chubby adolescent.  That's it. My mistake was finding someone who was fat,  but being dishonest about the extent of my obsession. When that ended, I found someone who not only loves to hear "Oh, my God, you are so fat!" during sex, but pretty much requires it to have an orgasm.

They are out there ,and they are numerous. 

 

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On 12/26/2018 at 5:58 PM, extra_m13 said:

the diet-sport or exercise talk may be a good one. i think i concurr with the general idea. as long as there isn't a habit for exercising the hope is always on the side of the FA because diets are by definition temporary and if the lady of any human , like to eat and doesn't exercise regularly they will gain weight eventually, but for sure, it is a matter of time, also, lack of sports gives a very sexy softness on the curves which we tend to appreciate as well 

That's what exactly happens to my wife all the time. Only negative thing about no sports is that each time she lost weight, it really looks not very attractive... all loose and hanging. .. funny enough she wears then her slim jeans and tight tops which looks, for non FAs just unreal and not acceptable :) 
But as mentioned it is hard to cope with as an FA.

My wife lost 10 pounds before Christmas and blew up nicely in 2 weeks now .. still cannot belive how fast she manage to put on the pounds. With workout and resulting muscles this would not happen - so that's nice :)

So if your wife has no ambition to do at least regular sports than there is for sure much hope :)

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On 12/27/2018 at 10:04 AM, CarlGnarl said:

Gentlemen-

What we need to do, and what I have done, is find a woman on one of these sites who is turned on by the thought of getting fatter, even obsessed, and hopefully has had that thought even when she was a thin or chubby adolescent.  That's it. My mistake was finding someone who was fat,  but being dishonest about the extent of my obsession. When that ended, I found someone who not only loves to hear "Oh, my God, you are so fat!" during sex, but pretty much requires it to have an orgasm.

They are out there ,and they are numerous. 

 

i think that is easier said than done but yeah there must be out there ladies who are closet gainers for sure. who would be more than happy to be with us

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56 minutes ago, extra_m13 said:

i think that is easier said than done but yeah there must be out there ladies who are closet gainers for sure. who would be more than happy to be with us

Sure. But somehow to see your wife struggling and failing with weightloss is also arousing. :)

My wife f.e. often educates friends of her how to loose weight easily and blows back up all the time herself.... . Also for me it is nice to see that she gets compliments on the beautiful weightloss success and you as a husband know how flabby she still is under her clothes due to lack of any kind of sport.

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On 12/29/2018 at 10:08 AM, extra_m13 said:

i think that is easier said than done but yeah there must be out there ladies who are closet gainers for sure. who would be more than happy to be with us

Go to (this website that rhymes with "Heebie Jeebie") and they are all over the place, and may shock you with their frankness. I'm talking about the very young ones just coming up, they are enormous and they are unabashedly growing fat, eating what they want, sleeping with as many guys as they want, and basically are quite open with getting fatter and having dudes fall down before them. Yes, some are looking to get paid (a lot, actually) but if you are a gentleman, and patient, you can make friends with them and then when they happen to come to your town, you can meet for a date and who knows where it may lead? There are some more mature ones as well into this fetish or preference or whatever you wish to call it. :)

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Just now, CarlGnarl said:

Go to (this website that rhymes with "Heebie Jeebie") and they are all over the place, and may shock you with their frankness. I'm talking about the very young ones just coming up, they are enormous and they are unabashedly growing fat, eating what they want, sleeping with as many guys as they want, and basically are quite open with getting fatter and having dudes fall down before them. Yes, some are looking to get paid (a lot, actually) but if you are a gentleman, and patient, you can make friends with them and then when they happen to come to your town, you can meet for a date and who knows where it may lead? There are some more mature ones as well into this fetish or preference or whatever you wish to call it. :)

PS It's my thing, but I love "Fat sluts," a plus-or-supersize woman who eats what she wants, sleeps with who she wants..I think women should be able to be plowed (safely) by as many men as will have them, as long as they are honest about it, same as men have the right to have a different girl each night should they be lucky enough to have so many women attracted to them. 

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The exercise/diet rollercoaster is something a lot of us can connect on. It sucks when it happens but atleast for my wife, it's always a good thing. Primarily because it inevitably crashes and burns and she's reminded that she hates it and mentally accepts she's going to be a "bigger girl". And then this mental acceptance that she's never going to be a "skinny girl" anymore leads her to normalize even more gluttony which balloons her weight > to the point she feels her body is out of control with ultimately cues another diet > crashes and burns > and on and on.

My wife starting at an ultra-skinny figure needed these cycles to slowly accept her phases: I guess I'll be a "thicker" girl. Now I'm a "chunky" girl. I guess I'm going to be "fat...I'm just not going to get super fat".

Mentally she needed these cycles to slowly accept she loves the lifestyle of being fat. With each new phase, new pants, she gives in and eats more calorie dense food and snacks more, lays around more. She never used to eat fast food, but now her belly is big enough that, in her mind, "honestly, who's going to even notice it at this point? Fries sound so good right now."

But in reality, she slowly keeps growing and her will and self-control decreasing. 

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6 hours ago, BindsThatTie said:

Mentally she needed these cycles to slowly accept she loves the lifestyle of being fat. With each new phase, new pants, she gives in and eats more calorie dense food and snacks more, lays around more. She never used to eat fast food, but now her belly is big enough that, in her mind, "honestly, who's going to even notice it at this point? Fries sound so good right now."

But in reality, she slowly keeps growing and her will and self-control decreasing. 

Sounds like my wife.

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I don't feel my wife learns the lesson and keeps the chub :)

So diet before Christmas ... 5kg ... perhaps. Now really managed to gain all back in two weeks. But claims to a friend that she only gained perhaps a kg and "fast fat" goes away easily.
:D after controlling herself like hell for 3 weeks to get rid of 5kg. That's just stupid somehow to starve and explode right after. I feel like it is really getting harder for her to keep the weight down - so there is hope.

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So much of it is mental and their perception. My wife doesn't "diet" – she only exercises. And she continually gains while exercising and will say things like "look at my tummy now, how much flatter it is!".... even though she was up 10lbs and clearly fatter. Her hips were simply wider making her gut appear a little flatter. :rolleyes:

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  • 2 weeks later...

i think this is the right place to vent some frustrations. my wife, as most ladies, has delightfully gone up a few sizes since the wedding and that of course has not been a steady journey but one filled with diets and weight loss and weight gain after it. now, after the holidays, she is back to diet. and... i have to concede during the holidays she went all in on eating everything that was on hand and a bit more. in fact i am pretty sure she has never been so heavy, now at 200 pounds, up from 133 in 5 years, on a 5'1 frame i cannot really complain but it is always unpleasant to see her counting calories and looking for the proper ingredientes for her keto diet. it does put me in a bad mood, specially since i told her clearly that this was the hottest she has ever been to me, i was expecting that to deter her efforts of losing weight. so... best case scenario for the next few months. i guess she will lose some, hope that it will be just a few pounds, and then come back with force not sure how or when but hopefully by the end of the year we are exactly at the same point, 200 pounds, and ready get a new record, a man can only hope. well, i just shared, again, i think this is the best place for that rant.

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Yeah similar boat. She is at 199 at 5 ft 4. A few years ago i would have given my left nut to have her gain 50 pounds. Now that she has im greedy and dont want her to lose an ounce. 

Even when she has a pig out day that would sabatoge any chance of her losing weight that week it still hurts watching her refuse a second helping or drinking water instead of wine. I want more of that women not less.

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I like it, love it, when she gains weight. And no matter how many times a diet has been a waste of time, when she starts one I feel like I'm losing "everything"

But....at the same time trying to break her will, enable her bad eating practices, nudging her towards gaining fat instead of losing it, is also hot. It's 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but it keeps you going.

Mine gained 20 lbs over the whole of last year, but there were numerous "diets" in that year. There's even one already in this new year. She can live with this size but doesn't want to be bigger. OK, what does that mean guys? Moderate your eating. Well, back one week from our vacation she has already nicely finished her first cake of the year. In that same week, where she is eating "smarter", she's gained half a lbs. 

So yeah, that too is a hard-on; that no matter what, she's going to get fatter.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just an observation how new weight settles. My wife gains almost 10 lbs in 10 weeks. Those extra pounds didn’t show until the last 2 weeks. Suddenly she starts widening all over. Her love handles and belly are returning. And for the first time I see a hint of a folding belly button. Her hips and bum are accentuating her pear shape again. The left boob is overflowing the cup. I’m so enjoying this gain after a long period of weight loss.

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Guest Rockmachine

Mine hasn't gained much, maybe some 5-10 pounds. But she's much flabbier than she was at the beggining. Than she was kinda soft but not juggling much. Now she jiggles with every step.

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On 1/26/2019 at 3:34 AM, empee said:

Just an observation how new weight settles. My wife gains almost 10 lbs in 10 weeks. Those extra pounds didn’t show until the last 2 weeks. Suddenly she starts widening all over. Her love handles and belly are returning. And for the first time I see a hint of a folding belly button. Her hips and bum are accentuating her pear shape again. The left boob is overflowing the cup. I’m so enjoying this gain after a long period of weight loss.

Interesting. Same observation on my wife. After loosing weight, she gains slowly, but all of a sudden she starts looking much wider.

Also this time it feels it went to her hips, tighs and ass instead of her belly where it has been before.

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13 hours ago, foamface84 said:

My wife was very skinny when we met which now is more than 16 years ago. After very rapid gain the first 1-1,5 years she settled to gain at a "slow" but steady pace. Sounds ideal right? Well, she is now too heavy for all the activities we used to do together and I really miss it. So it is not always only positive. Just some perspective :) Be happy with what is now and stop dreaming about what could be.

I can imagine this would also be the same with us. But so far she keeps the weight with loosing and gaining. We walk a lot in Holidays and weekends so that would definitely limit us. 

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Once my wife gained around 80lbs, she started to lay around all the time and when we had to do activities, her joints started hurting. When she went bare foot, her arches weren't accustomed to the added weight and this ultimately led to her injuring a tendon in her foot. She was couch bound for months which really helped pile on even more weight. But she now tries to exercise regularly to avoid the plagueing issues of a sedentary life.

That said she has steadily gained over this entire period. She may go burn 200-300 calories in the gym, but it's really nothing in the big scheme of things - she then comes home and pigs out more than ever. So the exercising doesn't anger me like it used to.

And there's a guilty part of me that enjoys her working out with these massive 300lb women at the office gym who also continue to gain and "just can't seem to figure out why". They take my wife out to Mexican restaurants for lunch and stuff her silly and then get on the treadmill for 20min after work. :rolleyes:   1,400cal lunch in... 200cal workout, do the math. 📈📈📈

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On 1/29/2019 at 10:09 AM, BindsThatTie said:

That said she has steadily gained over this entire period. She may go burn 200-300 calories in the gym, but it's really nothing in the big scheme of things - she then comes home and pigs out more than ever. So the exercising doesn't anger me like it used to.

On top of that, exercise doesn't really help with weight loss:

"Working out a lot doesn’t appear to burn more calories than doing a little. In fact, going mad in the gym doesn’t seem to burn any more calories than moderate activity a few days a week and taking the stairs, for instance."

But THE thing I find funny is that they think these changes only need to be made until you've lost whatever it is you want to lose. No lady; this is your new life. Get full on salads and veggies, never feel fully satisfied or a bit stuffed, and deny yourself this this this and that.

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 exercise doesn't really help with weight loss:... true story and for that reason i do encourage or support the wife when she decides to do some exercise, i know it will be good for her and for me because appetite goes up and overall health and strength improves which will make it easier for her to eventually gain more weight without feeling the aches that go with it. right now she is on a diet that... with no exercise whatsoever i am sure she is losing muscle mass, it suits me because she is getting softer but i think it is not the best way for her to go, let see what happens

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