Jump to content

The gaining "C U R S E"


Maria Alive

Recommended Posts

  • Curvage Model

Well ehm, I've been putting the idea of asking for help on and off the past 4 month's. I'm having trouble gaining the weight back... That's why I'm making this a separate thread from my weight gain updates, I know not everyone wants to know the story and just wants to enjoy imagery - and there's nothing wrong with that! But I actually want some opinions, theories, experiences or just anything really as I feel like I've tried everything within my knowledge. 

Hi I'm Maria Alive and started my weight gain journey by the end of 2016.

A brief summary of the month's prior: 

mod2.thumb.png.96c7e5f2ea104a93778e7b79d08a64fa.png   mod1.thumb.png.5d6c707608e26744c6c7fcf8d6112031.png mod3.thumb.png.ba9e5270e00b1f882f176042ffea4760.pngmod4.thumb.png.f508ce00dbea07846b5967404524080d.png

before getting into the shadow 'fetish realm' I worked 30 hours a week in a supermarket, did heavy lifting/stocking up the shelves and used it to pay for college. I also did weight lifting from the ages 16 to 23, cycled 10 miles everyday from age 11 - 18 and was also into part time modelling since the age of 18. Lastly.. I was also vegan for almost 4 years but look where we are now. I was always super slim and could eat anything I want without gaining until I started bulking/lifting accordingly and got to 65 kilo's / 143 lbs ( and stayed that way for 2+ years. ) Suddenly more photographers said it wasn't flattering on camera... So, I decided to lose weight cause modelling was something I enjoyed and wondered if they were perhaps right. I lost 10/22 lbs within 2-3 month's a little before becoming 'Maria Alive'. I did it the 'healthy' way - ate 1800 calories a day, exercised once a day, sometimes twice and got more photo-shoots as a result - but I've never been unhappier with my own body and never felt more TIRED - so I quit modelling and wanted to start something on my own. 

The result - I weighed 54 kilo's / 121  lbs at the beginning of my gaining journey, I got professionally measured at a clinic and had a measly 16% body fat.

Since I pretty much crash dieted myself into losing the weight I bounced back within a few month's to 65 kilo's / 143 lbs...

65.thumb.png.d6eb4cd089156bb7e1124a6bbaa3ad7d.png65-2.thumb.jpg.4b4f16b5e7faa01b3f3cf0f880b4d469.jpg65-3.thumb.gif.9ea742c5bcef2bdf15a27652a0fbed89.gif

....especially as I stopped doing cardio and started lifting again 3 times a week. Then the sudden plateau came and people started questioning my legitimacy as I openly talked about exercising as well as eating a mostly vegan diet. I quit exercising and started to introduce animal products back into my life. A part of me still thinks that not only because of the crash diet, I was able to gain as quickly as I did..but I do wonder if I continued weight lifting if it's maybe the push that I need? A part of me likes the lazy piggy lifestyle, eating, living in sweat pants and tiny shirts but so far that lifestyle doesn't help me gain at this point. And you can't gain muscle without gaining fat in the process. 

By the end of 2017 I gained up to 69 kilo's / 152 lbs and finally had a healthy amount of body fat - 25%! 

3.thumb.png.607c61e08dcdac046307a96d94d62b74.png2.thumb.png.037aece1b917ec227ff8358409a26f03.png

What I noticed my first time gaining is that it's actually not thattt difficult to get from 122 lbs to 143, once I hit 143 I get stuck at that weight and have a hard time going higher then that. I had to eat almost 5000 calories a day to upkeep 71 kilo's/ 156 lbs and I've never been able to break this curse. 

Back to 2018, I got incredibly sick which caused me to go from 71 kilo's / 156 lbs to 55 kilo's / 122 lbs within a span 6 weeks. I got super emotional about my loss as I worked incredibly hard to get there, giving up my passion for cycling, weight lifting and spending a lot of time, money and effort everyday to upkeep. Once I lost the weight I didn't recognize myself, my movements were foreign to me and every time a mirror would pass me by I'd get a little emotional. I wouldn't go as far as body-dysmorphic but I felt like a big girl stuck in a skinny twig's body. 

926376208_thumbnail-feedermaria.thumb.png.3ececebb2c4dcc28ab3552ae04a6ba78.png - recent thumbnail at 120 lbs 

I enjoyed every step of the way of my weight gain journey or I'd have never done so in the first place, I feel a lot more confident, sexier and just the person I expect to see in the mirror once I'm above 143 lbs - my ultimate goal would be 200 lbs but I don't dare to dream of it now. I was always excited to hop unto the scale or to measure myself in the morning/during video's. I also enjoyed getting degrading comments from work, friends, classmates and even family. I remember my aunt commenting every time I'd grab food during Christmas, saying that my thighs were already too big and that no men with self-respect would enjoy an ass as big as mine 😶 I got news for her but ehm.. let's continue! 

I've been trying to gain again since September 2018 as I started to feel better, my lowest weight this summer was 116 and got up to 127 by the end of October but..sadly, I was just ( TMI; constipated ) from getting used to bigger portions again. Now my body is used to the bigger portions, I'm eating about 3500 calories a day, sometimes it's more or a little less if I've been busy. I do stuffings during the weekend and have supporters that sometimes send me extra food in exchange for pictures during the week.

So my current problem is: I've been trying to gain non stop since September 2018 and this morning I was back at 120.3 lbs with 18% body fat even though I've been eating nothing but extra take-outs the last 6 days and getting an average of 3900 calories a day. I feel stumped, what am I not doing correctly? Calories in vs calories out has never worked for me and I'd love insight from whoever has an idea. 

To give a summary of my current daily intake (on a budget)

  • Breakfast: Soy yoghurt 150 grams, muesli 60 grams, raisins 40 grams.
  • Shake: 4 large banana's ( roughly 600-700 grams ), strawberries 100 grams, blueberries 100 grams, flax seeds 15-25 grams, almond milk 250 ml.
  • Lunch: 2 cooked eggs, 4 slices of whole wheat bread with 60+ grams of hummus. 
  • Shake: 2 kiwi's, 1 orange, mango 40 grams, 2 banana's ( about 200-250 grams ) and avocado 90 grams.
  • Dinner: potatoes 500+ grams, broccoli 300 grams, champignons 150 grams, mozzarella 25 grams, kidney-beans  90-160 grams, fish-sticks ( 7-8x 75 grams) 
  • Snack: I'll often have a whole Tony Chocolonely bar, Milka, Reeses, eggs waffles with Nutella, salted nuts 😏, take off; burrito, quesadilla, taco's, fries but it depends on my mood 🤷‍♀️

That was one of my diary entries this week, my breakfast is always the same, lunch changes up a little but I'll most often have a vegetarian option so I won't feel too heavy/sleepy if I have to go anywhere/have to work. Dinner changes everyday, but the general idea is that I have that amount of carbs, protein and fat and when I'm eating out for dinner I'll just have as much as I please/can afford. This is what I can do for now, I'm also slowly adding more meat into my diet and hope that speeds thing's up. 

This is also mostly how I've started gaining, I've tried a lot of thing's along the road to speed it things up:

  • Fasting: I tried 20 hours fasting with 4 hours eating windows and I've tried a couple of 3 day-water fasts to see if it could possible slow my metabolism.  Results: It was horrible and actually caused my metabolism to go overdrive instead of slow down and made me feel plain miserable. 
  • Macro-nutrient focus: I'd mostly focus on getting more protein, or more fat-based or even mostly carb/sugar based to see where my trigger was. Fat/protein based created an illusion of gaining but, just got me feeling icky/constipated and carbs made me feel good but didn't add anything significant to the scale either so I continue to stay sort off..balanced? 
  • Schedule + meal prep: I did this for a quite some time, I'd meal prep my dinners and most of my lunches on Sunday and prep my breakfast/shakes every night before bed. I even went as far as setting timers on my phone to remind me if I was still a little full from my previous meal and I'd take a cool-box to wherever I was heading. It did help but the results weren't baffling enough to continue the effort + eating only 1-2 different meals gets very boring, I know a lot of people are like 'Just drink cream or olive oil every night or chug vanilla ice cream.' but thing's get boring quickly if you do eat them. every.single.day with no change - try it!  
  • Protein shakes: I got pretty sick off them and like I said above even had to throw away a full batch because asbestos was found in a lot of protein powder brands in the Netherlands. I remember whenever I'd drink them I'd keep having hiccups, burps that I couldn't control.. it was embarrassing to say the least :') at home it's all good fun and once i find a safe option I'll jump on the bandwagon again. 
  • Supplements: I've tried, fenugreek, maca, and I used to have some kind of tea that'd stimulate your appetite but it's been so long, I can't remember.. I had a good experience with all 3. I think fenugreek was the most effective and had the least disgusting taste. It just wasn't a major difference in weight but I did notice my chest being slightly fuller. 

Allergies + sensitivities: 

  • I'm very sensitive to milk, cream and raw butter. I can handle most cheeses, ice creams and yoghurts without a problem but I try to not make them a big staple in my diet. Of course I'll have pizza, cheese burgers or a big tub of ice cream once in a while but, realistically it's not something I can do day in day out. 
  • I'm interested in apetamine but due to some health issues and medicine being based on 'healthy DNA' I have about a 99% chance of having side effects. They're not too bad as I've read but I'd love to hear real experiences from anyone and if it's worth the possible temporary discomfort. 
  • Lastly, I try not to eat 2 hours before I go to bed, I used to do that a lot but I actually damaged my teeth from silent reflux - so that was an expensive mistake during my first round of gaining! 

Other possibilities ?

I'm seriously open to try anything. Like I said I'm slowly getting my body used to more meat again, hoping heavier proteins, saturated fats and added hormones will help. I'm motivated to try anything as long as it's within my given boundaries. I know it isn't ideal and I'm probably crazy for trying to get all my micro's in whilst gaining, I just hope it's a way of maintaining any form of health while simultaneously destroying it with my kink . Weight gain is never healthy, unless you're underweight or you're adding muscle mass - but even then there are limits to what's healthy. 

Conclusion

Imgur-chr-03.thumb.gif.03f636803f524c3b3fbd5c362af4946a.gif

I'm a whiny little b**ch but believe me when I say that I'm dedicated. I know I don't eat as much junk food as most feedee's/bbw's. I try to save that for most of my video's or special occasions as 1. It should be achievable with healthy foods and the same amount of calories 2. I get bored quite quickly, as easy as that 3. I used to have really, really, really bad cystic acne until I changed up my diet at 16 and 4. I'm hyper-mobile and gaining weight is heavy on the joints ( hello extreme lumbar curve~ ); I hope by maintaining my micro-nutrients/energy levels that I can maintain a good posture and strong bones. I just want to be my fat plump self again but have enough energy to go about my day. I never got to the point where my belly was sticking out naturally but got massive thighs and a 42 inch booty instead. I miss being a 85-D (EU) and I miss having chubby cheeks. I also had very chubby upper arms and non-existing elbow, but I loved every inch of myself and.. actually never truly felt like a part of the community because so many said I was nowhere big enough and not gaining as fast as I should. I want to be chunky Maria by the end of 2019 and to whoever took the time to read this massive rant, thank you for listening and I hope we can find a way around this! Feel free to ask for any additional information. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: I'll openly answer every question people have as I hope it'll not only help me but others who are also struggling to reach their goals. But if there's something you might want to share with me and wouldn't feel comfortable having it out here - feel free to dm me. 

PS: Sorry for the wall of text but I wanted to get everything in here

PPS: To anyone who's still questioning my legitimacy on gaining, if I wasn't into this I'd hop on the bandwagon of selling foot- fart- or any other fetish that has a bigger customer base, but I want to show thing's that I actually enjoy. There's nothing more miserable then watching a model do something they're not genuinely getting off to IMO. 

TLDR; I'm the worst feedee ever, help me gain plz. 
 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe you got an overfunctional Thyroid. I am not a nutrition Specialist, but I think with 3000+ colories a day you should gain weight at some point. So what does the overfunctional Thyroid mean? Its a gland at your throat, and it is controls kind of your metabolism. If its overfunctional you losse weight quickly. The other way round you will gain fast. But the Thyroid needs Iodine to produces its Hormones. So when you where eating less Iodine in the past. The thyroid would grow bigger as a result of not having enough Hormones. Since you changed your eating habits. You now get far more Iodine, and the larger Thyroid produces more Hormones to spped up your metabolism. Your are lacking much other symptoms for that i think, but you maybe check up on that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At your age/height/weight, you should be gaining more than 2 pounds per week eating over 3k calories a day - and that's if you're moderately active.  I would never recommend trying to radically increase the amount of food you're eating because it's not sustainable in the long term, especially if you're maintaining eating over 3,000 calories a day.  I mean, there are many bodybuilders who have to eat upwards of 4k calories to gain, but they don't bulk long term so it's more doable for them.

Your diet is so full of fiber, I wonder if your body is over-eliminating or something, not giving your body time to absorb all of the calories? It does seem that people who eat processed junk food are able to eat more and gain easier/faster due to the way the body processes that sort of food. It's sad that healthy gainers have such a hard time gaining in comparison.

The only thing I might try is adding some canned coconut milk, avocado, olive oil, and/or nut butter to your shakes to increase the calories - but because your diet is so high in fiber, the addition of these items might make you feel overly satiated the rest of the day and cause you to under-eat during your other meals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • S77 featured this topic
Guest MX8XV93

Try diet soda (aspartame).  Though it has no calories, it reduces the feeling of fullness (making you want to eat longer), increases cravings for sugar, and slows down the metabolism significantly (if you drink enough of it).

Also, weight lifting increases your metabolism.  (i.e. the more muscles you have, the more calories your body burns while at rest).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are a hard working woman and you are a real fighter when i read your text be proud of yourself and make sure you enjoy your life as if you want to do. If you gain or loss some weight that dont matter your are a natural beauty in all ways. Hopes you enjoy your goals you are a real fighter in my eyes. Make sure to take care 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@Trebreh This is actually what my home doctor thought since the weight loss was so drastic and fast, so you weren't that far off. I immediately got tested last April and luckily no thyroid issues. I also got tested on my pituitary gland, kidneys and I always request a blood checkup every 6 month's to see if I'm doing well nutrition wise - It was all good.

Later on I also got my gall bladder checked, also no issues to be found there. I absolutely get what you're saying about iodine but I get about an average of 80-120 μg a day from food intake, I'm no absolute expert either but to me it doesn't sound dangerous? and the only time I do get an overkill on iodine is when I eat sushi..but who doesn't really 😅

I should've probably added some of the tests I got done last year but it's been so many, I can barely keep up with it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@Gusto 

You're absolutely right, I should almost gain more then that I'd say. For people who don't know I'm 5"2' / 160 cm and 25 years old. I do have to add that from my entire exercise history, my highest muscle percentage was 43%. Now I'm moderately active and I'm still on 37.4% muscle mass..I know my scale can be off by 3% but even then it's probably higher then the average starting gainer. 

I'm personally not sure, fiber does of course have effects for weight loss and has been shown in several studies that people who eat fiber have slimmer waistlines compared to those who don't. So in a way it's counter productive BUT... There's nothing worse then trying to stuff yourself while you're all backup either so I probably need to find a better middle ground. 

I also don't know if people notice but I go from a vegan breakfast to a vegeterian lunch and to animal products at night. I do this latter so I'm almost always hungry for my next meal because it leaves your stomach faster. 

And to get back to a mainly junk food diet, I've actually been there when I was together with my 'first feeder' I think 80% of my calorie intake was junk. We even had Burger King twice a week before classes started in the morning...Great times but I was actually at my skinniest ( and he was incredibly frustrated..😶). I can't post pictures as I was under 18 but I've never been able to gain from junk food on it's own. Also worked at Mcdonalds when I was 16-17, ate most of my lunches/dinners there for a year and actually LOST an unhealthy amount of weight back then and came back when I stopped working there. I also don't exclude the idea of added stress maybe? 

I'm not sure if it fiber can inhibit calorie/fat absorption but I've always remembered this article from dr. Michael Gregor https://nutritionfacts.org/2014/09/23/will-the-real-paleo-diet-please-stand-up/ I know there was also a short video summary of 5-6 minutes somewhere but I can't remember the title... TLDR; within the article it's shown that the original paleo diet almost had more then 100 grams of fiber a day and people averaged on 3000 calories a day - of course these people were a lot more active then we were but are our digestive systems so much different then those of our ancestors?  I can't tell for sure. 

I remember mentioning coconut milk, avocado and almond butter smoothies somewhere in my thread or old blog, who knows if it helps but it's definitely something I'll continue as it tastes delicious :P .

PS: I try not to come across as a know it all, but by eliminating certain theories we can perhaps find the source/cause of this all? Just want to tell everyone who already commented that I appreciate the help and effort 💕

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@>_< 0_0 I'm going to look into a gym nearby again since I'm going nowhere at this rate, if I'm not able to gain fat I'm at least able to give myself a little push to gain muscle and fat combined.

+ a bigger appetite has never hurt anyone 😉. It just slightly collides with my kinks but..booty gains..🍑

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@John Smith I didn't know they also had it in oil form! Definitely picking it up this week and see how it goes. I'll update this thread with any diet changes, product reviews and perhaps pictures as well. 

I studied 2 years of dietitian/lifestyle in college, couldn't finish it because I had a bad cycling accident on my way to one of my exams..so yeah.

I always have the internal struggle of knowing what the consequences are but..Being too turned on to care in a lot of cases. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@aspartamedoublesgains  I actually know this, I don't know if you've seen my video's but I always drink Cola zero or ice tea that has aspartame or ginger in it so indeed I'll feel hungry for longer AND it bloats like nothing else combined with food. Is it correct that aspartame also increases carbonation maybe?  

If only young me knew I had to gain fat, to gain curves but I was a dumb teenager that thought it had to be hiding somewhere in my bone structure  :P  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guzzledownsweets

I think you’re being too hard on yourself, you lost weight due to something completely out of your control which is frustrating but it can be gained back. The important thing is to enjoy yourself on the journey to regaining weight.

Reading through your posts I can recommend a recipe that is great at anytime of day, I often have it for breakfast or lunch and it is blue cheese (I go for St Agur or Gorgonzola dolce), avocado and Parma ham on sourdough bread. I don’t like butter either so I drizzle the bread in olive oil. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@henke26 Thank you so much, I had a hard time accepting my 'new body' but I'm finally there after months of grieving. I know it sounds dramatic but that's what I experienced, weight shouldn't be an identity but it's such a big part of what gets om off sexually.. So myeah.

I'm just happy to hear there are people who find me pretty no matter what ❤️ I'll continue to work hard and hopefully I'll have something to show for it this year. 

@Guzzledownsweets That's true but still, I made promises to not only my followers but also to myself and felt like I let everyone down. I had all these video's planned, I had customs waiting ( almost finished my queueso I can get back to public video's @S77 as well as FINALLY create content on this amazing welcoming platform ;) I was hesitant as well because if I'm making stuffing video's here, there also need to be weight gain results... but I'm just gonna go for it and more importantly, enjoy the journey like you said. 

Also that recipe sounds simple and delicious! Parma ham is probably one of my obsessions and used to order it every day during my holidays in Italy. I also use olive oil or colza oil with herbs on bread and toast it for a little while 😋

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's actually nice hearing about your trouble with gaining weight. I mean, not that trouble gaining weight is nice, but you opening up and asking for advice. Like, you're not pretending to be anyone or adopt some model personna, and that's very refreshing. Also, before I forget again, you're insanely good at photography.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/12/2019 at 3:37 PM, Maria Alive said:

Well ehm, I've been putting the idea of asking for help on and off the past 4 month's. I'm having trouble gaining the weight back... That's why I'm making this a separate thread from my weight gain updates, I know not everyone wants to know the story and just wants to enjoy imagery - and there's nothing wrong with that! But I actually want some opinions, theories, experiences or just anything really as I feel like I've tried everything within my knowledge. 

Hi I'm Maria Alive and started my weight gain journey by the end of 2016.

A brief summary of the month's prior: 

 

   

 

 

before getting into the shadow 'fetish realm' I worked 30 hours a week in a supermarket, did heavy lifting/stocking up the shelves and used it to pay for college. I also did weight lifting from the ages 16 to 23, cycled 10 miles everyday from age 11 - 18 and was also into part time modelling since the age of 18. Lastly.. I was also vegan for almost 4 years but look where we are now. I was always super slim and could eat anything I want without gaining until I started bulking/lifting accordingly and got to 65 kilo's / 143 lbs ( and stayed that way for 2+ years. ) Suddenly more photographers said it wasn't flattering on camera... So, I decided to lose weight cause modelling was something I enjoyed and wondered if they were perhaps right. I lost 10/22 lbs within 2-3 month's a little before becoming 'Maria Alive'. I did it the 'healthy' way - ate 1800 calories a day, exercised once a day, sometimes twice and got more photo-shoots as a result - but I've never been unhappier with my own body and never felt more TIRED - so I quit modelling and wanted to start something on my own. 

The result - I weighed 54 kilo's / 121  lbs at the beginning of my gaining journey, I got professionally measured at a clinic and had a measly 16% body fat.

Since I pretty much crash dieted myself into losing the weight I bounced back within a few month's to 65 kilo's / 143 lbs...

 

65-2.thumb.jpg.4b4f16b5e7faa01b3f3cf0f880b4d469.jpg  112   98.86 kB 65-3.thumb.gif.9ea742c5bcef2bdf15a27652a0fbed89.gif  78   2.85 MB

 

....especially as I stopped doing cardio and started lifting again 3 times a week. Then the sudden plateau came and people started questioning my legitimacy as I openly talked about exercising as well as eating a mostly vegan diet. I quit exercising and started to introduce animal products back into my life. A part of me still thinks that not only because of the crash diet, I was able to gain as quickly as I did..but I do wonder if I continued weight lifting if it's maybe the push that I need? A part of me likes the lazy piggy lifestyle, eating, living in sweat pants and tiny shirts but so far that lifestyle doesn't help me gain at this point. And you can't gain muscle without gaining fat in the process. 

By the end of 2017 I gained up to 69 kilo's / 152 lbs and finally had a healthy amount of body fat - 25%! 

 

 

What I noticed my first time gaining is that it's actually not thattt difficult to get from 122 lbs to 143, once I hit 143 I get stuck at that weight and have a hard time going higher then that. I had to eat almost 5000 calories a day to upkeep 71 kilo's/ 156 lbs and I've never been able to break this curse. 

Back to 2018, I got incredibly sick which caused me to go from 71 kilo's / 156 lbs to 55 kilo's / 122 lbs within a span 6 weeks. I got super emotional about my loss as I worked incredibly hard to get there, giving up my passion for cycling, weight lifting and spending a lot of time, money and effort everyday to upkeep. Once I lost the weight I didn't recognize myself, my movements were foreign to me and every time a mirror would pass me by I'd get a little emotional. I wouldn't go as far as body-dysmorphic but I felt like a big girl stuck in a skinny twig's body. 

 

 - recent thumbnail at 120 lbs 

 

I enjoyed every step of the way of my weight gain journey or I'd have never done so in the first place, I feel a lot more confident, sexier and just the person I expect to see in the mirror once I'm above 143 lbs - my ultimate goal would be 200 lbs but I don't dare to dream of it now. I was always excited to hop unto the scale or to measure myself in the morning/during video's. I also enjoyed getting degrading comments from work, friends, classmates and even family. I remember my aunt commenting every time I'd grab food during Christmas, saying that my thighs were already too big and that no men with self-respect would enjoy an ass as big as mine 😶 I got news for her but ehm.. let's continue! 

I've been trying to gain again since September 2018 as I started to feel better, my lowest weight this summer was 116 and got up to 127 by the end of October but..sadly, I was just ( TMI; constipated ) from getting used to bigger portions again. Now my body is used to the bigger portions, I'm eating about 3500 calories a day, sometimes it's more or a little less if I've been busy. I do stuffings during the weekend and have supporters that sometimes send me extra food in exchange for pictures during the week.

So my current problem is: I've been trying to gain non stop since September 2018 and this morning I was back at 120.3 lbs with 18% body fat even though I've been eating nothing but extra take-outs the last 6 days and getting an average of 3900 calories a day. I feel stumped, what am I not doing correctly? Calories in vs calories out has never worked for me and I'd love insight from whoever has an idea. 

To give a summary of my current daily intake (on a budget)

  • Breakfast: Soy yoghurt 150 grams, muesli 60 grams, raisins 40 grams.
  • Shake: 4 large banana's ( roughly 600-700 grams ), strawberries 100 grams, blueberries 100 grams, flax seeds 15-25 grams, almond milk 250 ml.
  • Lunch: 2 cooked eggs, 4 slices of whole wheat bread with 60+ grams of hummus. 
  • Shake: 2 kiwi's, 1 orange, mango 40 grams, 2 banana's ( about 200-250 grams ) and avocado 90 grams.
  • Dinner: potatoes 500+ grams, broccoli 300 grams, champignons 150 grams, mozzarella 25 grams, kidney-beans  90-160 grams, fish-sticks ( 7-8x 75 grams) 
  • Snack: I'll often have a whole Tony Chocolonely bar, Milka, Reeses, eggs waffles with Nutella, salted nuts 😏, take off; burrito, quesadilla, taco's, fries but it depends on my mood 🤷‍♀️

That was one of my diary entries this week, my breakfast is always the same, lunch changes up a little but I'll most often have a vegetarian option so I won't feel too heavy/sleepy if I have to go anywhere/have to work. Dinner changes everyday, but the general idea is that I have that amount of carbs, protein and fat and when I'm eating out for dinner I'll just have as much as I please/can afford. This is what I can do for now, I'm also slowly adding more meat into my diet and hope that speeds thing's up. 

This is also mostly how I've started gaining, I've tried a lot of thing's along the road to speed it things up:

  • Fasting: I tried 20 hours fasting with 4 hours eating windows and I've tried a couple of 3 day-water fasts to see if it could possible slow my metabolism.  Results: It was horrible and actually caused my metabolism to go overdrive instead of slow down and made me feel plain miserable. 
  • Macro-nutrient focus: I'd mostly focus on getting more protein, or more fat-based or even mostly carb/sugar based to see where my trigger was. Fat/protein based created an illusion of gaining but, just got me feeling icky/constipated and carbs made me feel good but didn't add anything significant to the scale either so I continue to stay sort off..balanced? 
  • Schedule + meal prep: I did this for a quite some time, I'd meal prep my dinners and most of my lunches on Sunday and prep my breakfast/shakes every night before bed. I even went as far as setting timers on my phone to remind me if I was still a little full from my previous meal and I'd take a cool-box to wherever I was heading. It did help but the results weren't baffling enough to continue the effort + eating only 1-2 different meals gets very boring, I know a lot of people are like 'Just drink cream or olive oil every night or chug vanilla ice cream.' but thing's get boring quickly if you do eat them. every.single.day with no change - try it!  
  • Protein shakes: I got pretty sick off them and like I said above even had to throw away a full batch because asbestos was found in a lot of protein powder brands in the Netherlands. I remember whenever I'd drink them I'd keep having hiccups, burps that I couldn't control.. it was embarrassing to say the least :') at home it's all good fun and once i find a safe option I'll jump on the bandwagon again. 
  • Supplements: I've tried, fenugreek, maca, and I used to have some kind of tea that'd stimulate your appetite but it's been so long, I can't remember.. I had a good experience with all 3. I think fenugreek was the most effective and had the least disgusting taste. It just wasn't a major difference in weight but I did notice my chest being slightly fuller. 

Allergies + sensitivities: 

  • I'm very sensitive to milk, cream and raw butter. I can handle most cheeses, ice creams and yoghurts without a problem but I try to not make them a big staple in my diet. Of course I'll have pizza, cheese burgers or a big tub of ice cream once in a while but, realistically it's not something I can do day in day out. 
  • I'm interested in apetamine but due to some health issues and medicine being based on 'healthy DNA' I have about a 99% chance of having side effects. They're not too bad as I've read but I'd love to hear real experiences from anyone and if it's worth the possible temporary discomfort. 
  • Lastly, I try not to eat 2 hours before I go to bed, I used to do that a lot but I actually damaged my teeth from silent reflux - so that was an expensive mistake during my first round of gaining! 

Other possibilities ?

I'm seriously open to try anything. Like I said I'm slowly getting my body used to more meat again, hoping heavier proteins, saturated fats and added hormones will help. I'm motivated to try anything as long as it's within my given boundaries. I know it isn't ideal and I'm probably crazy for trying to get all my micro's in whilst gaining, I just hope it's a way of maintaining any form of health while simultaneously destroying it with my kink . Weight gain is never healthy, unless you're underweight or you're adding muscle mass - but even then there are limits to what's healthy. 

Conclusion

 

 

I'm a whiny little b**ch but believe me when I say that I'm dedicated. I know I don't eat as much junk food as most feedee's/bbw's. I try to save that for most of my video's or special occasions as 1. It should be achievable with healthy foods and the same amount of calories 2. I get bored quite quickly, as easy as that 3. I used to have really, really, really bad cystic acne until I changed up my diet at 16 and 4. I'm hyper-mobile and gaining weight is heavy on the joints ( hello extreme lumbar curve~ ); I hope by maintaining my micro-nutrients/energy levels that I can maintain a good posture and strong bones. I just want to be my fat plump self again but have enough energy to go about my day. I never got to the point where my belly was sticking out naturally but got massive thighs and a 42 inch booty instead. I miss being a 85-D (EU) and I miss having chubby cheeks. I also had very chubby upper arms and non-existing elbow, but I loved every inch of myself and.. actually never truly felt like a part of the community because so many said I was nowhere big enough and not gaining as fast as I should. I want to be chunky Maria by the end of 2019 and to whoever took the time to read this massive rant, thank you for listening and I hope we can find a way around this! Feel free to ask for any additional information. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: I'll openly answer every question people have as I hope it'll not only help me but others who are also struggling to reach their goals. But if there's something you might want to share with me and wouldn't feel comfortable having it out here - feel free to dm me. 

PS: Sorry for the wall of text but I wanted to get everything in here

PPS: To anyone who's still questioning my legitimacy on gaining, if I wasn't into this I'd hop on the bandwagon of selling foot- fart- or any other fetish that has a bigger customer base, but I want to show thing's that I actually enjoy. There's nothing more miserable then watching a model do something they're not genuinely getting off to IMO. 

TLDR; I'm the worst feedee ever, help me gain plz. 
 

 

 

Ever try Mass Gainer shakes morning and evening. Goddess Shar has serious results with those shakes 😁😍

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@Chimaira10 Whey protein sadly doesn't do it for me ( They're absolutely delicious though so I can imagine! )

 I've tried several in the past while bulking up and all they gave me was acne and stomach aches. I've been on 2-3 vegan protein shakes a day the first time I was gaining. I've been looking at an alternative one which has 394 calories per 100 grams. 

Here's a little info 

Ingredients: Ultra Fine Scottish oatmeal (gluten)  (42%), pea protein isolate (22%), brown rice proteins (7%), quinoamine (5%), medium chain triglycerides (MCT oil), flaxseed powder, maca root powder (Lepidium meyenii), skimmed cocoa powder, natural flavors, emulsifier (sunflower lecithin), natural sweetener (stevia), thickener (xanthan gum), DigeZyme ® enzyme complex (amylase, protease, cellulase, lactase, lipase).

Nutrition per 100g Serving per 100g
Energy kJ / Kcal 1659/394 1659/394
Fat of 
which saturated
9.5g 
2.0g
9.5g 
2.0g
Carbohydrates of 
which sugars
43.7g 
1.7g
43.7g 
1.7g
Fiber 6.4g 6.4g
Egg whites 30.2g 30.2g
salt 0.82g 0.82g
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest MX8XV93
8 hours ago, Maria Alive said:

I studied 2 years of dietitian/lifestyle in college, couldn't finish it because I had a bad cycling accident on my way to one of my exams..so yeah.

I always have the internal struggle of knowing what the consequences are but..Being too turned on to care in a lot of cases. 

Wow!  You're a dietician who wants to gain weight!?  Amazing! 😍

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if you have something going on with your gut microbiome. Small intestine bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) can cause malabsorption. I suspect that I myself have something like that. Times that I have actively tried to gain weight/bulk up, it required a lot of effort and as soon as I went back to "normal" eating my weight dropped again. It can be tricky to diagnose and "fix", but it might be worth looking into

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow! You've thought about this a lot and I'm learning quite a bit, myself, from reading your posts here. In my humble opinion,a gainer doesn't need to grow ad infinitum to be hot. Indeed, I (and I expect many others) find just a little extra padding on an otherwise tone figure to be very exciting. The most important thing, in my view, is to see you at a weight where you are comfortable with your body and your body is curvy but healthy. More booty *does* look really great on you, but I'd say ignore the haters and get to where you are feeling good about your size. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@throwaway56342 I got my stool samples tested twice last year since and did a stomach endoscopy. I haven't had a colonoscopy yet but also haven't had any lower-abdomen issues either. The funny thing is I've been able to put on muscle, I just can't seem to put on fat on it's own! I've never really gone back to normal eating because I'd indeed get the same effect; I'd lose a little muscle and drop all the fat within weeks. 

( Is there any way to place spoiler..? I know not everyone wants to read about doodoo 💩~ )

Stools are very important to look at from a health point of view and can actually tell you a lot about what's going on... but aside from when I just got sick my stools were a little dry but they're normal now. No signs of malabsorption/undigested food or a rim of fat that'd show gall bladder problems. 

Also when I do notice having some digestive issues, this is what I do and hopefully some other people will have benefits from it.

We all know about probiotics/prebiotics, there still aren't any studies that I know of that show any improvement in pill/supplement form. So instead, I get it directly from the source: Jeruzalem artichokes! If I'm in a hurry I'll juice them together with (get fresh ones if possible!) ginger, turmeric, beets and celery and if I didn't have any other dinner plans or people coming over I'll eat them instead. IF you've never ate them be prepared for the worst gassy experience of a lifetime..but believe me if you have any type of stomach discomfort caused by digestive issues, this has always helped me within 24-hours. I do have to add, this is all my own experience, haven't found studies supporting my theory either - just that it's a lot cheaper and doesn't have side effects ( aside from farting 🤷‍♀️

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Curvage Model

@dcc Thank you and that's what I'm hoping for. It's a long rant but I hope to put this all together at some point and that it'll not only help me but future gainers and perhaps feeders. When I started feeding one of my partners at the time I was always in this endless cycle of getting turned on to feeling guilty. I hope this somewhat helps because no one needs to disable their loved ones ( unless they've consent ) all in the matter of sexually gratification. 

I was dumb, young and very inexperienced when I came to this scene, I didn't know any better in the beginning and listened to anyone who'd message me for the first 6 month's :P . Now I know that it's way more important to find a stable way to gain for myself because I don't want to disappear like that again. There are so many models that have a lifespan of 2 years and then disappear because they're gaining so quickly or doing it in a way that isn't sustainable for the long run. 

This afternoon I'm going to get myself a gym membership and focus on growing my booty. My appetite will increase and I put on muscle quite easily, I'm just going to do this my way and the way I feel good physically. Plus, who's doesn't like a big round chubby booty..? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Maria Alive said:

@henke26 Thank you so much, I had a hard time accepting my 'new body' but I'm finally there after months of grieving. I know it sounds dramatic but that's what I experienced, weight shouldn't be an identity but it's such a big part of what gets om off sexually.. So myeah.

I'm just happy to hear there are people who find me pretty no matter what ❤️ I'll continue to work hard and hopefully I'll have something to show for it this year. 

@Guzzledownsweets That's true but still, I made promises to not only my followers but also to myself and felt like I let everyone down. I had all these video's planned, I had customs waiting ( almost finished my queueso I can get back to public video's @S77 as well as FINALLY create content on this amazing welcoming platform ;) I was hesitant as well because if I'm making stuffing video's here, there also need to be weight gain results... but I'm just gonna go for it and more importantly, enjoy the journey like you said. 

Also that recipe sounds simple and delicious! Parma ham is probably one of my obsessions and used to order it every day during my holidays in Italy. I also use olive oil or colza oil with herbs on bread and toast it for a little while 😋

Hello again thanks to respond to my posting i appreciate that. I not write often but i like you very much you are a very great woman you are a very beautiful woman and i dont care a thing about wheight or gaining and even loss weight you are perfect exactly as you are and i know there are very much women and girls thats be treats very ill and all is about how they looks. Whats makes you beautiful comes inside from your eyes and how you are as person your goals is what matters. I hope you understand me and listen to my words i care about them around me and we most see and respect each other thats so importand. Take care Maria 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Looking at your diet, you're clearly not getting enough fats. Olive oil, peanut butter, heavy cream, cashews/nuts. Fat is 9cal per gram compared to carbs and protein 4cal per gram. Like a bodybuilder, when you make your shakes, add peanut butter and olive oil to them. There are 954 calories in a half cup olive oil and you can't even tell once blended in a large shake. 376 cal in 4Tb of PnB.  A few shakes a day and you can see how dramatically more calories you'd be consuming. 

If you're not gaining, you simply need to be eating more. Guys go through the same thing when trying to put on muscle, they're often shocked how much you have to eat to gain a large physique. As famous bodybuilder Kali Muscle says to skinny guys constantly whining about the scale not moving:

"There aint nothing fuckin' complicated bout putting food in yo mouth."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.