AM I A FREAK?

[tweeety]

Hi, I'm Tweety!

I have a feeling I think I share with alot of you guys in here. Here we go: I knew already in beginning of primary school that I was in to bigger women. A day when my former class was going for a little hike in the park, I noticed this big women and as people say about homosexuality(Something you're born with). I felt the same way about my sexuality towards big women. that day is probably the most embarrassing day of my life aswell. I got a stiffy in public and I was so small and didn't really know what it ment or anything, everyone was just laughing at me. I always think back on that day whenever I read the word "Sexuality".

I have a sweet girlfriend now and I love her so but I'm not satisfied. I am attracted to her but I've been trying to tell her I like women gaining weight but every time I try I bail out. I feel like a freak for having such a sexuality and I'm afraid of scaring my girlfriend. The last thing I want is for her to leave me. The dilemma is that I'd like to be honest with her and also for her to gain a few. I understand that she's the one to make the decision and I wont blame her for saying no(if that's the case) I also know it could be dangerous gaining weight due to health issues and such. But there is nothing in the world Turing me on more then that(gaining weight) and it makes me feel like a perv.

I'm a guy that normaly don't talk about such personal stuff but I know some of you might have been in the same situation as I am in now. This mean that this is a huge breakthrough from my end. I'm not planning telling my folks just yet but I might do it later in my life. I'm begging you to be humble and please respect me for being a feeder.

I was hopping for some advise and some feedback on this text. Note that English isn't my native language and that I have dyslexia and don't like being corrected for spelling bad because it makes me feel sad.

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

There's no solution to your problem, it doesn't get any easier, and you're certainly a freak to some people.

[A Saucerful Of Harry]

There's no solution to your problem, it doesn't get any easier, and you're certainly a freak to some people.

What he said^

[Guest Nachtwurst]

Are you a freak?

No.

You just like bigger women. It's not even something you should have to bring up with your parents. You're entitled to like what you want to like.

[biffsanderson]

After some fairly harsh responses I felt I had to throw in my opinion, for what it's worth. While, yes, some people will think your preferences are strange, they're certainly not outlandish or bad, and you should not feel ashamed of them. We all have our varying sexual preferences; there is no "normal."

My advice would be simply to be honest but not pushy. If it comes up, tell her you wouldn't mind if she gained some weight. Just don't try to force her to do anything (although it sounds like you wouldn't do that anyway). Don't forget, she probably has some kinks of her own, you might be surprised.

[Guest Atlya]

Note that English isn't my native language and that I have dyslexia and don't like being corrected for spelling bad because it makes me feel sad.

Wow, au contraire, I'm impressed. Haven't seen such an articulated post in quite some time.

Other than that yeah, having such a kink can be annoying. I think you'll have to tell her eventually. And even if you break up over that, better that than a poisoned relationship...

As for the details...

[Heart and Mind]

Why is TWEETY's avatar a dog/rabbit? 

[tweeety]

Don't forget, she probably has some kinks of her own, you might be surprised.

We've been together for 3 years soon and I don't have a single clue what she enjoys. We both have been silent about what do or don't like. Is this healthy? I think she don't really know what she's in to yet but on the same time she doesn't show any curiosity to find out.

[tweeety]

Wow, au contraire, I'm impressed. Haven't seen such an articulated post in quite some time.

Thanks! This made my day!

[tweeety]

Why is TWEETY's avatar a dog/rabbit? 

I sorry if I confuse you but tweeety is just a name that somehow just sticks to me. I think it originated from my minecraft-account. The picture is a picture of a cute rabbit from a yogioh card - "rescue rabbit". I dont really play yogioh but my friends does. So I don't know much about it other than that it's cute.

[Ayumi_Chan]

We've been together for 3 years soon and I don't have a single clue what she enjoys. We both have been silent about what do or don't like. Is this healthy? I think she don't really know what she's in to yet but on the same time she doesn't show any curiosity to find out.

On this point you could actually make it a fun conversation and say something like, "I really like having sex with you, but I though it would be fun if there was anything you'd like to try, or if there's anything that you are into?" This is a very good type of conversation because it literally opens the floor for that conversation. I think when you are having that conversation about what you would like or would like to try, you can say something like "I am a bit attracted to thicker girls and was wondering if you would be interested in maybe gaining a few pounds just to see what that would be like? If not I understand and won't pressure you into it, but I thought it could be something worth discussing."

I think as a couple, you shouldn't be afraid to have conversations like this. It's important to Be able to communicate with each other on all levels including sex because that is a healthy part of a relationship. Obviously you do love your girlfriend and care about her, so it is understandable why it is not easy to talk with her about gaining weight. It's important also to have this conversation because you should want to find out if this preference is something she can be okay with and not belittle you about even if she isn't wanting to gain weight.

I want to say that while it can be unhealthy to gain weight, there are ways to do it in a healthy way. Even 5-10 pounds won't be that drastic of a change to her health as long as she is eating healthy meals and still staying a bit active, like making sure to go on a walk a few days out of the week. Plus 5-10 pounds could be a good compromise for you and her as it's not much weight being added on to make her feel uncomfortable with it, and it's still 5-10 pounds of new weight for you to see on her.

I hope that helps!

[Guest coragg0]

Hi, I'm Tweety!

I have a feeling I think I share with alot of you guys in here. Here we go: I knew already in beginning of primary school that I was in to bigger women. A day when my former class was going for a little hike in the park, I noticed this big women and as people say about homosexuality(Something you're born with). I felt the same way about my sexuality towards big women. that day is probably the most embarrassing day of my life aswell. I got a stiffy in public and I was so small and didn't really know what it ment or anything, everyone was just laughing at me. I always think back on that day whenever I read the word "Sexuality".

I have a sweet girlfriend now and I love her so but I'm not satisfied. I am attracted to her but I've been trying to tell her I like women gaining weight but every time I try I bail out. I feel like a freak for having such a sexuality and I'm afraid of scaring my girlfriend. The last thing I want is for her to leave me. The dilemma is that I'd like to be honest with her and also for her to gain a few. I understand that she's the one to make the decision and I wont blame her for saying no(if that's the case) I also know it could be dangerous gaining weight due to health issues and such. But there is nothing in the world Turing me on more then that(gaining weight) and it makes me feel like a perv.

I'm a guy that normaly don't talk about such personal stuff but I know some of you might have been in the same situation as I am in now. This mean that this is a huge breakthrough from my end. I'm not planning telling my folks just yet but I might do it later in my life. I'm begging you to be humble and please respect me for being a feeder.

I was hopping for some advise and some feedback on this text. Note that English isn't my native language and that I have dyslexia and don't like being corrected for spelling bad because it makes me feel sad.

To some you are a freak and to others you are not. So welcome here enjoy the company and don't feel alone for what you like for many people here feel like you do about their own sexual likes.

[sirhumphredgumphries]

I  like being freakish. No sense in fighting it. Might as well embrace it my fellow freak...

[litmus]

On this point you could actually make it a fun conversation and say something like, "I really like having sex with you, but I though it would be fun if there was anything you'd like to try, or if there's anything that you are into?" This is a very good type of conversation because it literally opens the floor for that conversation. I think when you are having that conversation about what you would like or would like to try, you can say something like "I am a bit attracted to thicker girls and was wondering if you would be interested in maybe gaining a few pounds just to see what that would be like? If not I understand and won't pressure you into it, but I thought it could be something worth discussing."

I think as a couple, you shouldn't be afraid to have conversations like this. It's important to Be able to communicate with each other on all levels including sex because that is a healthy part of a relationship. Obviously you do love your girlfriend and care about her, so it is understandable why it is not easy to talk with her about gaining weight. It's important also to have this conversation because you should want to find out if this preference is something she can be okay with and not belittle you about even if she isn't wanting to gain weight.

I want to say that while it can be unhealthy to gain weight, there are ways to do it in a healthy way. Even 5-10 pounds won't be that drastic of a change to her health as long as she is eating healthy meals and still staying a bit active, like making sure to go on a walk a few days out of the week. Plus 5-10 pounds could be a good compromise for you and her as it's not much weight being added on to make her feel uncomfortable with it, and it's still 5-10 pounds of new weight for you to see on her.

I hope that helps!

As usual, I think Ayumi's advice is spot on.  Expressing interest in your partners desires is a perfect way to open up the subject. 

I have found that certain euphemisms are helpful in explaining this particular sexual preference.  I like to say that I prefer "curvy women".  "Curvy" generally has a more positive connotation than plump, chubby, or fat.  If she asks you why you like the idea of her gaining weight, I have found that saying you love the "softness" and "roundness" of curvy women is a good way to put it.

I would also recommend that you let her know that you have known that you had this preference since you were very young but that it has been hard for you to talk about, but that she makes you feel comfortable expressing your feelings.  Most women appreciate it when you are able to express deep feelings with them.  It lets them know that you care about them and trust them with your inner secrets. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[tweeety]

On this point you could actually make it a fun conversation and say something like, "I really like having sex with you, but I though it would be fun if there was anything you'd like to try, or if there's anything that you are into?" This is a very good type of conversation because it literally opens the floor for that conversation. I think when you are having that conversation about what you would like or would like to try, you can say something like "I am a bit attracted to thicker girls and was wondering if you would be interested in maybe gaining a few pounds just to see what that would be like? If not I understand and won't pressure you into it, but I thought it could be something worth discussing."

I'm a big fan of forplay and I know she's into it aswell. The way I see my intimate times with her is as a way of expressing my love towards her, I don't see it as a basic need even though it's healthy. Somehow expressing myself like that doesn't really make room for forplay and I think she would think I'm joking. or did you mean it like just telling her that But I'll try and see how she responds. I'd like to add that I enjoy carassing and touching her. She's fine with me stroking her belly aslo kissing it even jiggle it and normaly(in public) she likes to cover it up. To give you a picture of how she looks because I won't post a picture without her permission.

I'll explain it: A sweet and innosent face, blue eyes, brown curly hair with bangs, hourglass shaped body with a big chest and wide hips, belly that points out but isn't hanging. A lovely body, almost like Azismiss but with a smaller belly. She used to be ashamed of her body but I've given her so much credit that she's comfortable with it. She have actually gain some weight but not on purpose(as far as i know) and not that much like 5-10 pounds. I feel weird about not telling her that it's a fetish of mine. It's like she understands that its a fetish of mine and trying to give me hints but it could aslo be me who is desperate of telling her.

[Ayumi_Chan]

I'm a big fan of forplay and I know she's into it aswell. The way I see my intimate times with her is as a way of expressing my love towards her, I don't see it as a basic need even though it's healthy. Somehow expressing myself like that doesn't really make room for forplay and I think she would think I'm joking. or did you mean it like just telling her that But I'll try and see how she responds. I'd like to add that I enjoy carassing and touching her. She's fine with me stroking her belly aslo kissing it even jiggle it and normaly(in public) she likes to cover it up. To give you a picture of how she looks because I won't post a picture without her permission.

I'll explain it: A sweet and innosent face, blue eyes, brown curly hair with bangs, hourglass shaped body with a big chest and wide hips, belly that points out but isn't hanging. A lovely body, almost like Azmiss but with a smaller belly. She used to be ashamed of her body but I've given her so much credit that she's comfortable with it. She have actually gain some weight but not on purpose(as far as i know) and not that much like 5-10 pounds. I feel weird about not telling her that it's a fetish of mine. It's like she understands that its a fetish of mine and trying to give me hints but it could aslo be me who is desperate of telling her.

I meant that you could try talking to her about it. It's not really doing foreplay, but more about talking together about what turns you both on and if there is anything you both would like to try. This way you both also have new knowledge of what you both like and can introduce that later on when you do foreplay or have sex.

[tweeety]

Oh sorry, I missunderstood. It will be hard but I'll give it a go! I really appriciate the help! I'll wright a post when I've talked to her about it. But I think I will bring it up after an intercorse because that is one moment we really are intimate and we share our feelings.

Thanks again!

[Doom7951]

I'll be honest, for English not being your first language, you could've fooled me. I know people for whom English is their first language, and it feels like half of what they write is an incoherent mess.

Now, in regards to the question of: Are you a freak?

Not a chance. The way I look at things is that in order for there to be a defined "freak", there has to be a defined "normal". And since every human being is different, the only reasonable way to break things down would be on a personal level. The only confusion on the subject comes from feeling social pressures, such as the idea that, "liking heavier women isn't normal to these people, so it can't be normal for me." You like what you like; don't let what others think about what you like change your mind.

[tweeety]

I'll be honest, for English not being your first language, you could've fooled me. I know people for whom English is their first language, and it feels like half of what they write is an incoherent mess.

Now, in regards to the question of: Are you a freak?

Not a chance. The way I look at things is that in order for there to be a defined "freak", there has to be a defined "normal". And since every human being is different, the only reasonable way to break things down would be on a personal level. The only confusion on the subject comes from feeling social pressures, such as the idea that, "liking heavier women isn't normal to these people, so it can't be normal for me." You like what you like; don't let what others think about what you like change your mind.

First of all, thanks!

And second of all I'm breaking the norm of liking fit/slim girls but should I be quiet about it or should I embrase it like I'm comming out of the closet deals. What I mean is should I be proud of likeing curvy girls? Should I stand up for myself and fight for a society where being attracted to girl who gain weight is fully accepted! YES! You could say "that isnt your problem, it's someone else." but someone needs to step up for us. I don't like hidding who i am. I guess it would extremly hard doing it alone.

[Ayumi_Chan]

First of all, thanks!

And second of all I'm breaking the norm of liking fit/slim girls but should I be quiet about it or should I embrase it like I'm comming out of the closet deals. What I mean is should I be proud of likeing curvy girls? Should I stand up for myself and fight for a society where being attracted to girl who gain weight is fully accepted! YES! You could say "that isnt your problem, it's someone else." but someone needs to step up for us. I don't like hidding who i am. I guess it would extremly hard doing it alone.

Honestly, as much as this is like "Coming out." It's really not. Just like there are people who like girls who are in shape, or blonde hair, or green eyes, or long hair, liking fat/curvy girls is a preference in the same regards. Don't be ashamed that you like larger girls. And you know what, I'm sure there's more people than you think who surround you that may like curvy girls too.

[Guest myownway]

Hi, I'm Tweety!

Hello Tweety!

First of all - where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? I'm from a place where it is much tougher for big girls than, for example, in US or UK and preferences like yours or mine are also in a VERY serious minority.

I kind of was where you are now, except that my gf (and now wife) knew from the very beginning, that I like big girls and I like them getting bigger. Still, we never talked much about that and the most I ever said to her about gaining is that I like it when she gains weight, but she was a little freaked out by that, so I never came back to it and since then I only tell her how much I like her curves and size - but nothing about gaining. Nevertheless, during our 5 years together she gained about 30 lbs and is moderately ok about it. So I guess you can always try mentioning your desires in some kind of delicate way. Like, if she ever speaks about her weight gain during your relationship, you can say she was lovely when you met her, but now you think that with those few more pounds she looks even more cute, sexy and womanly to you and as long as her health is ok you see no need for her to start any weight loss. And that's basically it. If she likes food, has a tendency to gain and is not very much into exercising or sports, she will most probably gain more. And if you want her to gain - learn to cook or take her often for eating out (and I mean good food not some junk - junk is ok once a while, but otherwise food should be healthy - and, by the way, healthy doesn't need to mean small portions). Don't shovel food into her mouth, just provide a pleasant, warm environment for her to enjoy food. And then show her how you enjoy both her body and soul. Happy women tend to gain - even science confirms that. Do your best for this gain not to spoil their mood and she will keep the weight or maybe even put a few more pounds. But two key issues are - never pressure her and keep an eye on her health. If any serious signs of influence of her size on her health show - do your best to minimize or eliminate them, even if it means she will have to lose weight. Fortunately, often it's enough to do more exercise and alter the diet a bit, but if that is not enough, you know what you have to do.

[tweeety]

Honestly, as much as this is like "Coming out." It's really not. Just like there are people who like girls who are in shape, or blonde hair, or green eyes, or long hair, liking fat/curvy girls is a preference in the same regards. Don't be ashamed that you like larger girls. And you know what, I'm sure there's more people than you think who surround you that may like curvy girls too.

Normaly I'm a confident guy but when it comes to this I almost fear telling myself. I don't mean that I just enjoy a curvy lady but I like her to gain(sure there's a limit). I hope I'm not the only one feeling this way. I wish it was just as easy as saying "I preffer blond girls" to any of your friends. I'm not the guy how keeps secrets otherwise, I'm a plain and simple guy and having secrets is a burden for me.

I sure it's not accepted to like larger women in my contry or where I live for example in my college there was a girl that was quite big. She was picked on everday by several of the guys for being fat. Comments like "kill it with harpons". I was one of her few friends and I know how sad she was. So I'm pritty sure that being larger isn't appriciated here where I live which make's it even harder for me to tell my girlfriend that I'd like her to gain. I really feel like a outsider, a person people see on tv and say "How is it possible that guys like this exist". Also I don't won't my girlfriend to get picked on at work or anywhere else. I've never heard someone bullying someone for having blond or any other type of hair color(Mabye gingers but I've just heard that on internet).

[tweeety]

Hello Tweety!

First of all - where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? I'm from a place where it is much tougher for big girls than, for example, in US or UK and preferences like yours or mine are also in a VERY serious minority.

I kind of was where you are now, except that my gf (and now wife) knew from the very beginning, that I like big girls and I like them getting bigger. Still, we never talked much about that and the most I ever said to her about gaining is that I like it when she gains weight, but she was a little freaked out by that, so I never came back to it and since then I only tell her how much I like her curves and size - but nothing about gaining. Nevertheless, during our 5 years together she gained about 30 lbs and is moderately ok about it. So I guess you can always try mentioning your desires in some kind of delicate way. Like, if she ever speaks about her weight gain during your relationship, you can say she was lovely when you met her, but now you think that with those few more pounds she looks even more cute, sexy and womanly to you and as long as her health is ok you see no need for her to start any weight loss. And that's basically it. If she likes food, has a tendency to gain and is not very much into exercising or sports, she will most probably gain more. And if you want her to gain - learn to cook or take her often for eating out (and I mean good food not some junk - junk is ok once a while, but otherwise food should be healthy - and, by the way, healthy doesn't need to mean small portions). Don't shovel food into her mouth, just provide a pleasant, warm environment for her to enjoy food. And then show her how you enjoy both her body and soul. Happy women tend to gain - even science confirms that. Do your best for this gain not to spoil their mood and she will keep the weight or maybe even put a few more pounds. But two key issues are - never pressure her and keep an eye on her health. If any serious signs of influence of her size on her health show - do your best to minimize or eliminate them, even if it means she will have to lose weight. Fortunately, often it's enough to do more exercise and alter the diet a bit, but if that is not enough, you know what you have to do.

I live in Sweden, county known for the voluntary sector in sports and other activitys. I could easily make her bigger but I'd like her to know that im doing it. I'm a atually good cook/chef, I've worked as a chef about 2 summers now(I don't recomend it to anyone, it's Really stressful). Also she doesn't do any sport or activity. As I said before really care about her and wouldn't let her gain unhealthy because I want to be able to live my life with her without any problem or sickness.

[tweeety]

I didn't know how to start. I might fucked up.  :'(

I asked her "what turns her on" and she got irretated at me and asked me what I'm in to. Moron as I am I anwser "I asked first.." She anwser me with a rude "I like having sex.. now you". I didn't know what to say so I said "idk".

Clearly we came of at the wrong foot.

[Guest Atlya]

I didn't know how to start. I might fucked up.  :'(

I asked her "what turns her on" and she got irretated at me and asked me what I'm in to. Moron as I am I anwser "I asked first.." She anwser me with a rude "I like having sex.. now you". I didn't know what to say so I said "idk".

Clearly we came of at the wrong foot.

Uh, you asked what she likes and she gets irritated?

Damn, that is strange... and seriously, she appears to be the one who was rude, so no problem about that. Better clean things up anyway, maybe try to know why she reacted that way? You just wanted to know what she likes to eventually enhances her sex life... and she likes having sex, right?