PreyToGod

Yeah that’s what I was getting at, not necessarily mean spirited or disrespectful but just socially bizarre ‘Greetings my dear, a positively pulchritudinous physique you have! Might I ask you to count the number of stretchmarks you have acquired and log them via an excel spreadsheet so I may create various graphs depicting the data set? Best wishes, Randy’ I’ve just noticed so many comments like this especially which hyper focus on numbers and data and while they’re not aggressive or rude I think they absolutely unsettle a lot of ‘models’ enough for them to head for the door. Oh well. I sound really judgmental, I just wasn’t sure why it seemed so common here.

I agree it can get a bit boring and you need to have an excuse, but I must admit that's one of the driving factors for me to go solo. My friends aren't assholes or I wouldn't be friends with them, but I just feel like it could make things uncomfortable especially if it becomes really obvious that I'm going for chubby women, and might make me seem really superficial as well. I also just don't like hitting on women when my friends are there, never have. Yeah that's ideal but when I was out last time one or two women I had my eye on never left their friends side and when they went to the bathroom they went as a pack. No wonder the only guy who I saw approach them was some blind ** middle aged english man who they basically just laughed at. Good point. But It's so hard to have any conversation in most bars and clubs and it's tough to get most women to leave to go somewhere quieter with you. In fact I think I'll have more luck chatting to women outside the place, in the line etc. But I don't want to look like I'm lurking around trying to pick up women either Maybe clubs aren't for me after all. Why can't there be places where younger people go to mingle without the expectation of getting **, without the aggressive assholes, overpriced drinks, deafening music. Imagine like a big club/mansion with lots of chillout areas and comfortable couches and shit, quieter music playing, zero tolerance toward sleaziness or aggression and lifetime bans, maybe theme rooms and conversation prompts laying around to help people connect, maybe every half an hour everyone has to have a speed date with the closest available person or some gimmick. And an expectation that you are there to meet other people not just talk to friends the whole time. And a roughly 50/50 ratio of men to women. Maybe you pay $40 at the door and get a free drink or two. Surely something like that would do well with people who were more serious about meeting people.

Maybe a controversial opinion: fat has a feminizing effect. Through history across basically all cultures it was closely associated with fertility - look at the Venus doll for reference, and its no coincidence that being underweight impacts reproductivity. Many guys outside of this kink will still idolize a curvy, womanly body with some extra pounds. There are some tribes that glorify male obesity, and some masculine guys who are overweight, but generally speaking it's not viewed the same way on men, who's idealized body is generally lean and muscular. Fat on men tends to deposit around the belly and the pecs (or bitch tits as some call them) and conveys a sense of sloppiness, laziness, weakness, rather than fertility and womanliness that it does with women (to a certain point). Even just down to the fact that androgens promote muscle growth while Estrogens promote breast tissue and a more feminine figure. I'm probably biased because I'm a hetero man, but there's something to this I think

bellysimo 😍 Obviously I'm biased since I would be in heaven if most women allowed themselves to gain a bit but surely most women daydream about not having to eat like canaries and feel guilty for enjoying food with a partner who doesn't just accept but adores their body if they gain any weight. I've worked in gyms and hung out with gym junkies (when my pfp was taken)... they might seem cocky and upbeat but there's a definite hyper insecurity beneath it all... when I was most into working out I was at my most self conscious for sure. Sticking to the same bland meals everyday, feeling guilty or declining to go out and have a drink with friends... people trying to convince themselves that they enjoy getting up at 5am to do a HIIT class... it's not all bad, self discipline can be a virtue, but it's a pretty monotonous and depressing lifestyle after awhile unless you're literally competing and even then. So aside from the fetish It sucks to see so many women so self conscious sacrificing so much joy and indulgence to try and fit some bs beauty paradigm and look good for other overcritical women or some judgmental partner who really doesn't deserve them. Quite a few women in my extended friend cirlce are starving themselves and or taking ozempic, thinner than they were in high school, barely any boobs left, visible ribs, hollow heroin addict cheeks, or trying to get as muscular as possible. Trying to be anything but their natural feminine physique. It's a sort of prisoners dilemma, barely anyone actually enjoy this shit but feel like it's an expectation. You don't want to body shame thin/muscular women either, but a few of my friends (who don't have this kink at all) even commented that these women are looking sickly Where I live you wouldn't really know there ever was a body positivity movement. Sorry for this unsolicited ted talk but it's great to see you gaining...it just makes me think of what could be if social pressure wasn't so extreme

si senor

In an abstract sense maybe, but if I'm not physically attracted to them anymore that's a major issue lol. I don't feel any attraction to the idea of someone ruining themselves or anything like that, but I can't lie I do find the idea of a lady without any FA kink gaining weight out of pure laziness or gluttony to be almost sexier than one who gains intentionally.

On that note, it's often said that your compliments to women should be more about their style or things they've done rather than their body - do you think that's a fair bit of advice? I often struggle to think of compliments that don't sound cheesy, and I know a lot of guys just shower women in compliments without much meaning behind them and women are attune to this sort of thing Yeah I need to remember that sometimes, most women off these niche online FA communities are incredibly self conscious and problem a bit self disgusted with their fat. I do wonder how the hell some women who don't have any sort of kink for gaining manage to get to the point where they look 7 months pregnant though, I know everyone's bodies deposit fat differently, but it doesn't happen overnight and they have to look at themselves in the mirror everyday, plus they clearly put a LOT of effort into their hair and their skin and other beautifying things, meanwhile seem to neglect a major area like their actual physique. Unless they're all young mums who gained during pregnancy it seems so strange to me. But I'm not complaining. But I've realized I only get one shot at this because if they see me hanging around after it will ruin the whole story lol

I'm not OP but my problem is when I associate anything with work I tend to lose the passion for it. When I was teaching guitar I found I was rarely writing music in my free time, and I worry about losing these passions because they're not easy to replace. The other thing is I feel like there's increasing pressure to have a side hustle and if you don't you're seen as lacking ambition or at least you feel a bit lazy. 'What you work 9-5 and you're not taking night classes or working on your ecommerce business after hours? You'll never get ahead that way mate!

It's true that society has become more impatient and narcissistic but I'm just being realistic because I've unfortunately got narrow physical preferences and if they don't fall within them then I don't want to get sexual. I've tried multiple times and it only ends in frustration and some sadness. So now I only go for women who clear that bar from the start, then I see how we connect emotionally, it's superficial I guess but it seems to spare the most time and energy. I still haven't figured out the best places to meet women though. I'm exploring a few local bars and clubs, but the last few dates I've had have been from asking girls out at the mall while I was working in a pop up store that gave me an excuse to talk to them. I'm mainly an introvert and my social energy is limited so I need to be smart about it. While bars and clubs are the best places to meet women man they tire me out fast unless I'm on party pills, but I'm putting that lifestyle behind me

It definitely is but I guess going out somewhere to meet people is a whole different ball game to dating apps. The latter you can do whilst you're chilling at home watching tv, but going out takes a bit more effort and can be a bit expensive if you have to catch an uber and buy a few drinks and if you dont' want to go solo you need to rally a friend or two which makes things more complicated. The ideal thing is to meet people organically though interests but yeah I haven't had luck that way. I've met some really nice people but nobody I was sexually attracted to really. For instance I was volunteering at a community market. Most ladies were older, most were taken, there was only 1-2 single women in my age bracket. Same with mixed volleyball. I would go out more if I knew where. I don't really just wanna force myself to go to clubs and bars but they're easily the best place to meet single women and they're usually wearing tight dresses so you can actually see what their bodies look like and don't have to try and guess like you do with everyday work attire and stuff

So I was at a bar/club last night for a friends 30th...the first time I'd gone out in well over a year because I'm not about that scene but HOLY SHIT I was floored by some of the chubby women I saw. I'm mostly attracted to bellies and across the night there were at least 5 or 6 hot women who looked like they were 7 or 8 months pregnant but obviously weren't because they were drinking. The music was ungodly loud so couldn't really have a conversation, and we were in a group of about 20 sitting around drinking and shouting in each others ears (sort of ridiculous in hindsight) so it didn't feel right chasing after one of these women. As much as I fucking HATE night clubs and I'm trying not to drink much these days I feel like I need to go back there maybe even solo to shoot my shot with some women. I haven't seen ladies like this anywhere else lately - on dating apps everyone hides their belly, and the tight dresses that they wear on nights out are really revealing of their figure, whereas with most work outfits and things you really don't know what they look like underneath... especially with the high waisted pants and baggy fashion these days. I'm fairly handsome and sociable, but I need a bit of advice about the best way to go about hitting on a chubby woman. Not huge BBW just women with a belly or a few extra pounds. Should I treat it any differently to how I would a woman with a more conventionally attractive physique? Should I physically compliment them so they know that I find them attractive and aren't just trying to win them over to get to their slimmer friend? If we do get more intimate should I avoid drawing any attention to their belly or anything they would foreseeably be self conscious about? Also, while most women at clubs and bars are open to being approached, it's pretty daunting walking up to a group of 5 women especially by myself, but most my friends are in relationships and don't go out much either. I know how jealous ladies can get, and protective of their friends (fair enough) so I can imagine that hitting on the one who they deem as having the worst body could actually inspire some resentment and they might try to cockblock or screen me. If I'm going out solo my strategy could be to tell them that my friends were lame and left early and I'm on my way out but as soon as I saw them I had to introduce myself . I could even just give them my number and say I'd love to take them out for a drink some time so I don't get dragged into the whole bullshit of trying to connect with them meanwhile their friends are right there and the music is too loud to really talk anyway. Besides say the beach, can anyone think of places where it would be acceptable to approach someone and where you can actually see what their body looks like?

Goddamn you’re the sexiest thing since sliced bread and your gain genuinely suits you. honestly it makes me sad / mad to think how many women would look sexier with some extra pounds but there they are busting their asses trying to fool themselves into thinking they actually enjoy working out and eating like sparrows feeling guilty whenever they eat a meal that doesn’t taste like shit and getting subtly or not so subtly degraded by their partner if they gain any weight hope your partner appreciates every inch of you 🖤

I definitely agree but a few things 1) Most shows I go to are 80% men, and most women there have boyfriends with them 2) I like a lot of metal and hardcore techno and these genres aren't really conducive to having a chat with people at least not unless you can get them somewhere private. Often people just sort of turn up then leave after without necessarily mingling with many people 3) These shows can be infrequent, and expensive and I'm already struggling to make ends meet I've been struggling to think of the best places to meet women offline. Meet none at work. Friends all have partners and don't go out much. Gym doesn't really seem appropriate plus I'm not really attracted to any women at mine. coed sport, dance classes, volunteering etc can be great because you learn new things whilst getting to know people organically, but in my experience the chances of meeting someone single who Im actually attracted to is pretty slim. Less chubby women there too. Nightclubs are obviously the most efficient, lot's of single women looking to mingle, but I honestly hate clubs and bars these days, so I probably come across as though I'm just there to try and get women, because frankly I am, which isn't very attractive (even though they must know deep down that's why 90% of men go out). I'm also trying not to drink and trying to get into a good sleep pattern which doesn't play to well with going out to these places. I have approached a few women at the shops, park etc and it's gone alright, women generally seemed flattered not freaked out even if they weren't interested, and I got one date this way, but it can be a bit uncomfortable and tough when we have nothing obvious in common. But if a really sexy lady walks by and she doesn't seem to be in a hurry and the setting isn't inappropriate, I feel like I'm dumb not to take the chance. Anything is better than dating apps, but you can see why I end up crawling back to them

Yeah it seems that way. A lot of people attempt to normalize ghosting even after a date and the whole radical shameless narcissism movement where you don't owe anyone anything doesn't help. I think especially if you've got a plan in place or you've had a date you do actually owe someone a message. Like how fucking self-absorbed have we become that we think we don't owe anyone decency. I know sometimes guys don't react well to rejection and get aggressive but if that's the case then they can block. Without sounding too arrogant I try to remind myself that some women don't really know what's good for them. Including educated seemingly intelligent ones. One girl ghosted me after a date then ended up dating a biker single dad wannabe tough guy who goes on unhinged rants on facebook. There I was thinking I must not have measured up somehow while she winds up with that sack of shit.

Another woe is me post. But imagine this, Meet someone on a dating app (maybe that's my first problem) She's very cute, almost 6 foot, slender but holds extra weight in her belly, well educated, interesting hobbies weird taste in music. So she's basically my ideal body type and personality. She's enthusiastic and carries her side of the conversation as we chat so I get her on social media and we chat for a couple of days including a video call (her idea, I usually hate them). At one point she even sent me a link to a new pastry place that's opened up nearby and said as much as she wants a flat stomach she likes food too much. I was thinking holy fucking shit I might have hit a jackpot here. (I wouldn't encourage someone to indulge in feedism, but if they have that sort of relationship with food it's a good thing) We made plans to meet at a local thai restaurant. On Thursday she randomly stopped responding as we're talking, I heard nothing from her the rest of the night. I send her a message Friday at lunch time to ask if she's still up for seeing each other that night but got no reply. Friday night comes and goes, I check Saturday morning and she's disappeared off Instagram - I check with another account and see she's still there so she's blocked me. This is maybe the fifth time in the last year or two this has happened where someone I've been really keen on has either ghosted or in one case stood me up on a date or after a date, despite me being patient, respectful, engaging etc and choosing women who seem interested in longterm relationships not just hit and quit casual sex. I'm more confused than mad. What is going on with these people? Did their ex come back into the picture? Did they just meet someone they prefer? Did they get cold feet and feel awkward communicating it? Did they misinterpret something I said? I can understand if they realized they weren't interested but to block someone seems or even ghost without messaging them seems a bit extreme. I would think that a 6 foot well educated woman would have a pretty narrowed dating pool, if they're looking for guys who are really tall + also educated, respectful, interested in a longterm relationship, and I can't imagine what would cause them to pull the pin on someone who seems to be what they're looking for. Meanwhile women I'm half hearted about seem eager to meet me. It's like a curse where if I'm really into them I know something will get in the way. I know I will never know the reason behind this sort of shit but I just want to vent, or with anyone who's ghosted people at the last minute, why did you do it? Anyway I'm just exhausted with it.