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litmus

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  1. litmus

    Rockyroo's Thick Shake

    Looking so sexy! Would love to rub that soft tum!
  2. litmus

    My ED is Ruining My Relationship

    So a few thoughts: performance anxiety is a real thing. Once you start worrying about getting an erection it can completely inhibit your response. Your partner's reaction is putting you under a ton of pressure and making the situation far worse. Any sex therapist would tell her to do the exact opposite of what she is doing. She should tell you it is fine when you are having trouble, you should cuddle, and it is great for you to use other methods to please her: manual stimulation, oral stimulation, vibrator, dildo, whatever floats her boat. I am decades older. I learned early on that being skillful at oral sex made everything else work better in bed. Most women are much more responsive to oral stimulation, perhaps accompanied by a dildo or a finger in her vagina stimulating her g-spot. She wants to be satisfied, and that is a reasonable demand, but her unwillingness to try to accomplish that in other ways is unreasonable and is likely making matters worse. Second, you may have physical issues that are inhibiting your response. Are you overweight or diabetic? Getting your T level tested is a good idea. I would encourage you to ask the doctor for a sample prescription of Cialis. Eating as little as 3-5 mg should give you a much stronger erection. Once you have had some success and gotten your performance anxiety issues a little more under control you can try taking smaller and smaller doses. There is a book I would encourage you to look at, it is called Come As You Are. I can't remember the authors name. She is a sex therapist and the book is primarily about female sexual response but it may help you please your partner and the section about pressing the brakes and the gas at the same time may very well explain what is going on in your own head. Finally, your partner's response is concerning. It suggests a general lack of empathy and understanding for others. It seems very self-centered and possibly narcissistic from your description. Is she like this in other areas of your relationship? If so, I really caution you. Trying to have a relationship with a partner who lacks empathy and often puts their own needs first is not healthy. Perhaps she is just young, inexperienced, and insecure. If so you should be able to talk to her about how her reaction makes things more difficult for you. If she can't see that, I would see that as a bright red flag that she is not a healthy partner who is going to be able to love and support you. Don't allow yourself to be emotionally abused. If she is toxic, your penis may be saying "no thank you" as a form of self-protection. Some of us have dicks with a conscious that don't work well when they are put in unhealthy situations. Best of luck! Keep us posted.
  3. Have you actually read either book? You dismiss them as "hacks" without providing any argument or evidence. Linda Bacon has three Masters degrees in Nutrition, Biology, and Psychology. I'm not saying that there aren't different points of view, but you can't just dismiss the extensive scientific evidence presented in these books with a wave of your hand. I didn't purposely ignore anything you said. I thought my friends personal experience helped illustrate some the points I was trying to make. I acknowledged that you did qualify your comment about BMI. But BMI as a measure of fitness or health is deeply flawed. My friend was extremely unhealthy when she weighed #150 and was struggling with bulimia. She is far more healthy at #195, restricting less, and training more. The same is true for many people who are better off getting off fad diets and relearning to listen to there body's hunger and satiation signals, even if they gain some weight. I have tried to engage you in thoughtful exchange of ideas, that is how we all learn and grow. So far you have responded with closed mindedness, personal attacks, and almost no substantive response to any of the arguments I've made. It seems to me that this "discussion", if you can call it that, is a perfect illustration of how our politics has gotten so screwed up. Everyone has a right to there own opinion, but they are not entitled to there own set of facts. Facts matter. Reasonable people with different points of view should be able to talk about important subjects with civility and mutual respect. But instead, clinging to our pre-existing opinions seems to be more important than actually trying to have a meaningful exchange of ideas.
  4. Let me share a little more about my friend. You are right that she is unusually muscular for a woman. But it isn't just a matter of muscularity. She is far from lean. I'm sure her body fat percentage is quite high, higher than most BMI proponents would find "acceptable". My point is that trying to be "thin and healthy" made her very sick. She is much healthier now that she restricts less and has gained nearly 50 pounds during three years of recovery. Hers is not an unusual case. There are many people who are not genetically predisposed to be thin. If we fat shame all these people into trying to force their bodies to be thin, these folks often end up fatter and more unhappy than if we just let them be.
  5. What makes people unhappy is the tremendous dissatisfaction they feel with their bodies because they do not meet our very narrow standard of beauty. This dissatisfaction leads to yo-yo dieting by pre-teens and adolescents. It leads to depression and self harming. It leads about 10% of young women into what is often a lifetime of struggle with eating disorders. The irony is that dieting makes people fatter in the long run. It puts people into "starvation" mode that messes with their metabolism and the hormones that regulate their appetite. There is a ton of evidence that suggests our bodies have a weight setpoint. Unless weight is lost very slowly and primarily through increased activity, the body fights back against weight loss. My main point isn't that being fat is healthy. My point is that fat shaming and dieting are not healthy. They end up making things worse. We evolved in environments were hunger and starvation were omnipresent dangers. We now live in an environment where food and calories are abundant. It isn't surprising that a high percentage of the population has become overweight. I'm not overweight, and I never have been. I eat moderately and intuitively, meaning that I listen to my bodies hunger signals. I eat when I am hungry and I stop when I am full. I excercise regularly. But mostly I have been blessed with genes that have made it fairly easy for me to stay at a "normal" weight. On the other hand, I know many women who are in a constant struggle with their weight. The have dieted for so long and restricted calories so much that they have interfered with their bodies appetite regulation system. I have a close friend who is a beautiful, thick, curvaceous woman who comes from a large family were every member, except her, is extremely obese. She has struggled with her weight since puberty. She was so determined not to be fat, and dieted so hard, she pushed herself into bulimia. She barely eats 1400 calories a day and she does CrossFit training several days a week. She is 5'2" and weighs about 195. Her BMI says she is obese, but she has won statewide CrossFit competitions and is a black belt in Kung Fu. She is incredibly strong. So preaching BMI and saying everyone who is obese is unwealthy is bullshit. She is far healthier in recovery, eating healthy, exercising, than when she was puking her guts out at 150.
  6. I am not going to spend a huge amount of time trying to restate the scientific evidence that is so persuasively presented in the two books I already referenced. Let me just say that being sedentary is what makes folks really unhealthy. Moderately overweight people who get regular cardiovascular excercise and who eat a reasonably nutritious diet are generally in good health. The popular image that overweight people are at death's doorstop is not supported by the evidence. We have confused aesthetics with health. By fat shaming people, we have constructed a society of yo-yo dieters. It meets the profit needs of the diet industry, the fast food industry, and the clothing industry, but it is really bad on people's bodies and on their mental health. Extreme calorie restriction is what leads nearly 10% of women in the US to struggle with eating disorders. EDs are far more dangerous than being moderately overweight.
  7. So interesting tale you tell about being fat, and then losing weight, but still getting off to fat girls. I'm not saying your story is fabricated, because I don't know you, but statistically speaking, your story is highly improbable. Somewhere between 96-98% of all dieters gain back any weight that they loose in less than 3 years. Millions of years of evolution in environments where starvation was a greater survival risk than obesity has given us bodies that are very good at storing excess weight and which make it extremely hard to lose weight. It is true that morbid obesity, poor food choices, and a sedentary lifestyle aren't good for one's health. There is also a substantial amount of evidence that being moderately overweight or even obese, if combined with a reasonable diet and regular exercise, isn't all that bad for you. Those who do not have other comorbidities, like uncontrolled high blood pressure and blood sugar levels, actually have life expectancy that is no different than those who are "normal weight". There is also a ton of evidence that being overweight is far less damaging to long term health and mental health than repeated cycles of yo-yo dieting. The diet and fashion industries push diets and fat shaming. They are a scurge that lead millions of young women into eating disorders that are far more dangerous than being overweight. Anorexia and bulimia are the most dangerous and life threatening forms of mental disorder, more so than schizophrenia or depression. If you are genuinely interested in educating yourself about the truth, rather than just restating a bunch of fat shaming stereotypes, I suggest reading "Health at Every Size" by Linda Bacon or "Intuitive Eating" by Trumble. Again, I don't know you or your story. I do find it interesting that you would think the way you do and still get off on fapping to fat girls. I find it interesting that your profile is private so we can't see your comment history. I suspect you are just another guy who gets off on "concern trolling" and fat shaming. Willing to have a thoughtful discussion, but not willing to buy your story without some evidence to back it up, and definitely not buying a bunch of overly simplistic, fat shaming nonsense.
  8. From the Katie Cummings thread: It would be interesting to know what she would think about these image/morphs. She must know that most of the fans she has now, prefer her the way she looks, now. At the same time it is like she doesn't want anyone to say anything about it. Anyone who tries to give her a compliment gets verbally slapped down or ignored. She knows she is beautiful and desirable to many men just the way she is, but she can't seem to let go of her body image from years ago. A good dose of "body positivity" and some self acceptance would really go a long way.
  9. litmus

    Correct tone vs humiliation

    I appreciate the tone of your reply. You seem to be looking for thoughtful discussion, not just hurling rhetorical stones. I think this stuff is complicated. In general, I think people should be allowed to have their kinks as long as they are not harming others and as long as there is consent from all involved. I do think that those who are turned on by humiliating or degrading others should engage in a little self-reflection. Again, there is a real difference between "teasing" that is consensual and fun vs. shaming that humiliates or degraded someone. We live in a culture that is particularly shaming towards larger women and women who gain weight. There are a lot of false and negative stereotypes that are part of that "fat shaming". I think this community should work towards breaking down those stereotypes rather than reinforcing them. Individual couples can tease all they want, but as a community we should not condone humiliation. This is a public space and what gets said here gets back to the models. Basic human decency and consideration for their feelings seems warranted.
  10. litmus

    Correct tone vs humiliation

    What bothers me is that many members of this community seem to get off on "fat shaming" the very same women you get off fapping to. It strikes me as extremely misogynistic. Fun teasing with women who enjoy that is one thing. Repeating all the mean shit that our culture believes about women who are not thin or who gain weight is something else. Someone who gains weight is not necessarily lazy, out of control, or eating huge quantities of shitty food. A little more "body positivity" and a lot less fat shaming would really help this culture, in general, and this site/community, in particular.
  11. litmus

    Correct tone vs humiliation

    My point is that you are being presumptuous. You don't know, neither do I. I have dated a very beautiful Latina woman in recovery from an eating disorder who has struggled with her weight (every member of her large immediate family, except her weighs over 250) and with some really challenging body image issues. It isn't "hilarious" in the least. Just stop assuming you know who she is, what her motivations are, or what will happen in the future. You are being an insensitive prick.
  12. litmus

    Correct tone vs humiliation

    Wow! Aren't you the judgmental one who makes assumptions about a bunch of things you almost certainly know little or nothing about: 1) You don't know if she gained weight on purpose or if she was struggling with weight gain and decided to make the best of a difficult situation by working for FC. 2) You don't know that it is "pride" that made her stop working for FC. She has been working towards opening her own site. Maybe it is about wanting to control her content, or make more money as an "owner" rather than a "worker". Maybe she is simply embarrassed by how big she has gotten. She has expressed concern about health issues. 3) You say she is "greedy", but it is quite likely that she is voluntarily giving up income by no longer working for FC. How about being a bit less of a schadenfreude douche-bag? If we want to normalize weight gain and BBWs, insulting one of the biggest mainstream porn stars to stick around as a BBW doesn't strike me as helpful. Clearly she isn't entirely comfortable with her gain, reading comments like yours has to be liking pouring gasoline on a fire.
  13. litmus

    interesting thing I noticed

    My ex-wife is an apple. During our early years together she went from 150 to 185 (5'4") then leveled off and stayed at that weight for over a decade. She walked almost every day and swam frequently. We did lots of day hiking and she did well. She was slow going uphill and needed rest breaks to keep from overheating, but she and I could easily do 15 mile day hikes with 4,000-5,000 ft of elevation change. Near the end of our marriage she started having some digestive problems and some hip pain and decided to loose weight back down to about 150. I guess my general observation would be that it is all about keeping moving. Being moderately overweight or even technically obese can be OK if you are getting regular activity. Being sedentary is not good for you at any size.
  14. litmus

    Sexism

    I'll take a quick swing at this topic. I think the FA community is extremely contradictory in its attitude towards sexism and misogyny. On one hand, I think many do a lot to try to support body positivity and push for a much broader definition of female beauty. I think that is very positive. On the other hand, many FAs bring all the sexist bullshit from mainstream culture to their preference or fetish. Size acceptance is one thing, but pushing endlessly for massive weight gain seems like objectification with a particularly unhealthy twist. Don't get me wrong. I am totally turned on be weight gain and have had weight gain fantasies since my early teens. I don't buy into diet culture nor do I think you have to be thin to maintain a reasonable level of fitness. However, there is a huge gulf between relaxing and enjoying the pleasure of food and a few extra pounds vs. actively pursuing extreme obesity and even immobility. It is one thing to fantasize about such things with a sexual partner and to engage in role playing and food fun. It is another thing to pursue massive weight gain in real life. Genuine consent is obviously the starting point, but even with consent, I find pursuing self-harm troubling. Obviously every person and situation is different. I am also bothered by the many posts by fellow FAs of very normal sized women accompanied by comments about "how the have let themselves go" and "what a pig" etc. A lot of that just seems to be reinforcing the existing beauty standard and judging women whose bodies do not fall within its very narrow confines. Hope to hear others opinions.
  15. litmus

    I would really appreciate some help

    Veronica Moon http://clips4sale.com/studio/46831/Cat39/Veronica-Moon-BBW#startingpoint
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