Wow! You've thought about this a lot and I'm learning quite a bit, myself, from reading your posts here. In my humble opinion,a gainer doesn't need to grow ad infinitum to be hot. Indeed, I (and I expect many others) find just a little extra padding on an otherwise tone figure to be very exciting. The most important thing, in my view, is to see you at a weight where you are comfortable with your body and your body is curvy but healthy. More booty *does* look really great on you, but I'd say ignore the haters and get to where you are feeling good about your size.