frimfrim

My girlfriend has been hovering around 130-140 pounds at 5'2". She's fine with being on the chubbier side of normal as long as her clothes still fit, but she usually sucks in to try and hide her belly in public. I've noticed that her jeans have been getting tight, which isn't unusual because the holidays and overindulgence go hand in hand. (She was at an event last week and half of her messages involved the food or drinks she was enjoying.) We went out for lunch. I ordered appetizers for us to split. She got a standard-sized order of ramen and finished it off, along with most of the appetizers. Normally, she doesn't even make it through all the noodles, so this was already surprising. Still, I asked if she wanted dessert anyway, expecting a "No, I'm pretty full" in response. Instead, she gave a quick "Sure, what did you have in mind?" So we went for ice cream as well. For the rest of the afternoon, I noticed that her belly looked rounder than it had been in years, almost as big as when she hit 160 from the unlimited dining hall food in college. And from the few glances I could get while driving, she was jiggling with every bump in the road too. I don't know if she just didn't notice it or was too stuffed to suck it in like she normally does. If I haven't just been fantasizing and the weight sticks, it's probably still going to slowly melt away after December. That's how we both like it. By normal standards she's healthy and fit, her loose-fitting shirts hiding a few extra pounds so she can be satisfied with looking "slim". But at home, she's also always plump enough to have a prominent belly after a big meal.

For me, it's having some belly fat that I find most attractive, depending on your build that means straight-up normal to low end of overweight. So I empathize with seeing people not interested in gaining get bombarded with harassment in a community that's supposed to support them. My perspective on feedism/gaining is a little different from yours, since I prefer what most people would still consider an average build. I'd be perfectly happy with meeting someone who puts on a little bit of "relationship weight" with no difference in lifestyle, and I don't have any qualms convincing them to do it because I feel like it wouldn't be a big change for most people. My current partner has lost weight since we started dating, but she's got a much healthier relationship with food and exercise now. I also totally see where you're coming from - you respect and empathize with people, and it's really hard to imagine that other adults are the complete opposite.The nonconsensual humiliation or degradation I see in the FA community is the biggest reason I don't want to talk about the community. The dumb comments are more likely than not just people unable to control their urges without an actual adult punishing them, and I'm skeptical that many of them will ever learn. There's also a lot of different niches here, like seeing celebrities get "fat," a whole range of different size preferences, and overlaps with other fetishes. And that's fine. Normal, well-adjusted people don't push their fetishes onto others. "This is what happens normally, just ignore them" is what I would have said if I was younger. I've had the same urges to just type out unfiltered comments. But I'm in my late-20s now and realizing that people who are supposedly more mature are setting shitty examples for the kids. Typing out your inner thoughts to someone is creepy at best, and borderline grooming if you're doing it in a "nice" fashion to a younger individual. Of course, they just say you should be grateful that you're getting attention or that it should be expected. I hate it, and I hate it even more because this is only the stuff people are saying in public. I think there's two ways to deal with those people - either call them out like you're doing, or shrug and deal with it. The latter's really not an option for models and content creators. I imagine it's a big reason a lot of them leave. I'm unhappy with a moderator saying that they can't do anything about assholes on their platform. Their role is to run the site and cultivate the community they want to see, not just hand-wave issues away with "boys will be boys" and nitpicking. But that's the community we're in, and I also admittedly don't have the dedication (or time) to change anything here as a lurker. I'm not going to straight-up defend the people who said "dumb people are gonna be dumb", but they're in a very different position from you. They're not the ones getting these shitty comments directly, and assuming they're men they probably haven't had to grow up worrying about harassment in the same way. I see it as a throwaway comment that reflects their personal experiences, but it's still an insensitive response to your request for well thought-out comments. Also @gorJESS, I had the same response and wanted to quote you. You are amazingly diplomatic and I love your writing style. I'm tempted to look through your entire thread just to read your posts, dealing with serious subjects with a casual tone and full punctuation just exudes confidence and experience.

Went on a date with my girlfriend last weekend. Most of y'all would still think she's skinny - 5'1", skinny wrists and hands, not even that curvy. But she's got a soft, round belly that looks like a starter belly... if she hasn't had it for the last four years. All of the clothes she's bought recently are still a size small and they're all slightly too tight. It's not even that she should be wearing a medium, she just likes wearing shirts that are snug, athletic fits. Every few minutes she keeps tugging her shirts down because they ride up in the back, especially when she's sitting down. I bring this up. Her response is that they still fit and that she's gotten pretty good at hiding it normally, before resting her laptop on her belly and we continue to watch our movie. She's still uncomfortable talking about her weight and doesn't really like it when I squeeze her sides. The fact that she lets me, that she still prefers wearing tight clothes when we go out, makes me so incredibly happy. It's our little secret. Our little rebellion against our parents when we visit for the holidays and they complain that she's still chubby. Every once in a while, like this weekend, we go out to a nice place to get food and she eats a little more than she should. Other than that, we cook healthy meals and don't really overindulge too often. I'm happy too - more than a curvy build, I appreciate a woman who's healthy and who can keep up with me on hikes. I don't want to have to worry about my future wife having diabetes, or giving up on dieting after years of struggling with it and yo-yoing, or having to tell her that she can't indulge herself too much even though I like that she's gained weight.

My girlfriend manages to balance good health with a decent amount of curviness, especially in the belly. She doesn't particularly like being chubby, but has also generally stopped caring as long as she isn't overweight. At her heaviest, she was around 135-140 lbs at 5'2", which is pushing the boundaries of "healthy"... but unisex S t-shirts were already stretched tight around her chest and waist. How big is that? A straight, unfitted S shirt is about 36-38 inches around. There's a few full-body pictures of her in a dress, and I used that to get some measurements based off her height and belly size. With a waist 13" wide and 10" deep, the smallest her belly could be (a perfect oval) is 36 inches. More likely a 36-40 inch range. Doesn't seem like that much, but keep in mind: She's decently busty (boobs stick out almost as much as her belly) and pretty tiny. The lightest she's been is around 105 lbs when we first met. Back then, she looked a little scrawny, but with thick thighs and a little bit of curviness all around. She managed to reach her fattest only 2 years later, which is impressive considering she also jogged at the gym 3-4 times a week for an hour in an attempt to keep her belly under control. I consider myself in pretty decent shape and while I can keep up with her at that pace, going just 20-25% faster gets me tired quickly and I can barely keep up the full hour of jogging. Part of that weight gain could be blamed on her stretchy stomach. She's "cursed" with a combination of a slow metabolism and being able to comfortably eat quite a lot, and when she doesn't pay attention the weight just piles on. We went to get burritos one weekend. These were pretty huge - longer than Chipotle burritos with more meat and grease, probably a good 1500 calories. For some unfathomable reason, the burrito also came with a side of rice and chips. I was suggesting that we just take the leftovers back. She just shrugged, said "I'll probably just skip dinner instead," and finished off her food besides the chips. During the bus ride back, she ended up finishing the chips as well. That was the last time she wore a certain t-shirt when we went out to eat. Before lunch, it just barely covered her belly, which was pushing her jeans down a bit as well. Afterward, she'd tug down her shirt every minute or so, which worked until she took a few breaths and the bulging of her belly made it ride up and reveal an inch or two of flab. Since then, she's lost some weight and usually tries to stay in the 120-125 range. She still says it isn't for my sake that she's staying a little softer than normal. I believe her, but she's also gotten much more comfortable with still having a double chin and love handles. The only loss here has primarily been the jiggly fat around her lower body and belly. Even after her brush with being overweight, she's got a big appetite and doesn't always keep it under control. We went on vacation with friends for a weekend. She'd been working long hours at work for a few weeks before that and was somewhere in the ballpark of 130 lbs - enough to look heavier than normal, but not enough to start outgrowing any clothes. On Saturday we got a big lunch, then split a few other snacks/street food before dinner. She ended up with a bulging belly after lunch, then continued to eat the most out of all of us at every food stall we visited. At the end of all that, she pulled out a small packaged cake from her bag (think Twinkie-sized, but castella) and ate that as well as we walked back to our hotel. And then proceeded to have a light dinner. She didn't stuff herself too badly for the rest of the trip, but by the end of Sunday her stomach looked permanently bloated compared to her usual, and every time she stretched or lifted her arms above her shoulders her shirt would reveal a good 4-5 inches of belly. I asked her about that day of gluttony, and she claimed that she was just used to eating too much from the previous few weeks. It took her about 8 months to get back to 125. For someone who supposedly doesn't like her belly, she doesn't try to hide it much either. She hates overly baggy clothes and tends to just wear a t-shirt and jeans. Most of her "skinny girl" wardrobe from her college years is gone though, replaced with tops that will at least partially hide her rounded midsection if she's sucking in while empty.

I chose 720p and was downloading at 5-10 mb/s, full quality failed a few times mid-download. Would recommend 720p. All of them. They stagger the starts, so 3 4 and 5 have good shots for: Mascha (3 and 4 primarily, she got two weigh-ins) Kira (weigh-in and other shots in beginning of 5, short appearances in 4) Sara Maria (halfway through 5)

You can pull the downloads yourself. Go to https://video-download.co/site/Viafree and then paste in the episode URLs, replacing the episode number. https://www.viafree.dk/programmer/livsstil/min-fede-traener/saeson-1/episode-1

To help ease your worries: Exercise alone won't make someone her size lose a lot of weight, especially if she just gets hungry afterward and eats more to compensate. Figure skating sounds interesting. Especially competition... is she really going to be able to compete in January? What kind of competition would it be, and how much is she planning to practice for it? That doesn't sound like a reasonable time frame at all, without prior experience. Talk to her and see what she thinks of it. You also know that she's a fan of sports (has she done sports in the past?) so you can ask how she feels about not having the opportunity to play sports during the past year. This is one situation where your interests may seem to be different, but there's always a way to try and compromise. And as I mentioned, exercise =/= weight loss!

Thank you for your explanation, and I get that. Coming from customer service, as a stressed out student working two jobs as well, there are times when you just want to stop and give up with something. Especially if it's a passion of yours. Especially if you feel like you've made something and want it to be as good as possible. There will always be haters. No matter how hard you try, how much you do, there will be someone out there who wants more. It's really frustrating how everyone automatically suspects the content provider. For example, "taking money and running" when you're just busy, because this doesn't come before a job and everything else in life. And even besides that, you can't satisfy all of the reasonable people either. Nobody can do two things at the same time, but once you get a good amount of attention, it starts to feel like others demand that of you. Make your own choices, and don't doubt yourself. No decision is perfect, so the best thing to do is just improve on it as you go along, fending off all commentary for the while. One idea I have is to put a little note at the top of the Free Videos page. "You will not be billed for free videos, information will not be recorded, put in whatever you want. YOU DO NOT NEED A VALID EMAIL ADDRESS TO DOWNLOAD VIDEOS." I was going to say something else, but I looked through the last two pages-ish of this thread, and it has gotten heated. Almost feels like you're stuck in a room while two of your supervisors/parents are arguing and pretending you don't exist. That's a lot to go through. I don't blame you for whatever you decide to do.

New video might not have much, but how about pictures?

What name does her Paypal email go under? Given that she's being smart about the rest of this I'd think that it's something discreet, but wanted to be sure first.

I'm gonna go against the grain here, but I'm not a "full" FA like most of the community. And I'm an exercise freak myself, so that's got to count for something. Yoga, calisthenics, and walking are not very arousing. Sure, the first two are arguably effective in weight loss, but my brain does not see any of those as "exercise." Running, climbing, swimming, lifting, dancing, anything that has intense physical exertion with a visible effect... yeah. Then again, I also like the contrast between a curvy woman at rest, self-conscious about her image in a tight workout outfit, and how much more confident (?) she looks while working hard. I value both health and a healthy amount of chub. The two aren't completely opposing ideals, and a bit of exercise works up a good appetite too!

My preferences are kind of in between. Chubby enough to have some obvious softness, but not big enough for significant stretch marks. BMI-wise that's probably anyone who's not obese, with my favorite body shape around "just barely overweight." As I've never been one for listening to popular culture one way or another, that's probably a reflection of what people generally want. A lot of college students talk about having a skinny girlfriend/having sex with some skinny girl, but these are often the frat guys. In terms of normal ideal relationships, I think people shouldn't expect to be much healthier than their significant others. Similar living conditions and ideals and all that. In terms of how society accepts it, I think it has to do with whatever the big corporations want to advertise. They're rolling with "body acceptance" now, so I think we're going to be moving away from the super-thin ideals of the last few years. In the end, it boils down to how much of a disconnect between ideals and reality they think people can handle. If the audience is fat and the actors aren't, there's either a sense of jealousy, rejection, or willful ignorance. Rejection is bad because then businesses lose money.

Already here. http://www.curvage.org/forum/index.php?topic=16558.0

Most smaller communities are a bit better. Reddit is overall the "scarier" side though, IMO. Much easier to look through someone's post history and dig up stuff on them, or leak personal information. What I like about Reddit is that multiple conversations can stem from one comment, and there are some communities that are quite nice. Most of the big ones are terrible though. Fatpeoplehate went on a hate brigade in other communities as well, and the fallout meant that other groups also got lumped in with it. Okay. When I think about bigger women, I think people who still have the decency to polite and make no excuses about their weight. There's a sub called fatpeoplestories that makes fun of fat people who are, quite frankly, acting in really despicable ways. The best stories aren't written to ridicule - rather, they end up showing the change in a family member's life as they try and get their lives back together. Or are kind of tragic. I won't deny that it's pretty dickish for them to be doing this, even anonymously. Members of that community are kind of obsessed with health, as some of them are people trying to lose weight and looking at those stories as motivation for what they shouldn't be. You're completely justified if you don't like Reddit. Only reason I stuck around there is because I frequent other small communities which aren't nearly as snobbish, malicious, or hiveminded.

If you're not worried about people sending others the link/file (which isn't exactly hard anyway) that'd work. Others do requests for donations or whatnot, but that's both risky for the "donator" (who might not get what they asked for) and the "donatee" (who might feel obligated to do stuff they're not comfortable with/make more vids)