whosthecheat

Thanks, I actually think that’s a really good idea, I am willing to try anything at this point, and based off what she’s shown I think that’s what she really wants at this point in her life, to just lose some of the weight she’s gained. I never really thought of that before I figured that was something she would have to initiate on her own, I personally enjoy working out and going to the gym so maybe we can start there. I think you’re right. At the end of the day I can I can say I love her at any weight all I want but in the end it’s just words. I think showing that I’m not just saying that might go a long way, thanks!

Thank you so much for the support, I will continue to try and be honest about the whole situation, the difficult part is I have trouble getting her to tell me what’s really going on in her head, a communication barrier has definitely formed and it’s hard for me to get her to open up now. This is encouraging to hear, thank you. It’s hard to hold back I guess but it makes sense that that’s what you have to do in a delicate situation like this. I definitely see the objectifying aspect, it’s like if you show love to the Parts of their body they consider fat they think that’s all you are there for:/ I try not to focus too much on it, but as I’m sure you know it’s hard once you start getting intimate to keep your hands off the areas you like. I hope she can at least begin to understand or appreciate the attraction I have to her body I think that would be a big step. Has your wife become more receptive to other aspects of your attraction to her since she started enjoying her belly being rubbed? I totally agree. I completely respect the fact that her body is hers and she decides what to do with it and who can touch it etc. I let her know that all the time, but it is a real kick in the nuts that all along I’ve kinda beat around the bush mentioning in passing that I enjoy her body and her gain in order to help her confidence up and make her feel beautiful. Then the second I make it a serious thing to try and make her know I’m serious when I say that, and that I genuinely find her body and her gain attractive and that I’m not “just saying it because I have to”,I get shut out. I don’t think she views it as mean or cruel but I really agree with you that it is unfair to me and is in fact a mean way to treat someone you love. I’m nervous to tell her that I feel that way because I fear that she will think I’m taking her insecurities and making them about myself. it really sucks that the world is still so narrow minded about attraction to heavier women. I could go on for hours about my stance on that and why I think it’s honestly something that I think a lot of men are naturally attracted to and don’t even realize it. I think big women deserve a lot more credit and there’s absolutely no reason to shame them or shame people for being attracted to them. Im also nervous to share my feelings on that with her though because it seems like everything I do right now backfires and I could totally see her taking it the wrong way, and thinking that I’m trying to convince her to keep gaining weight or something.

I will try to keep this as concise as I can, however there is a lot that I feel I need to share in order to get some real answers. I am in a tough spot and could really use some advice from people who have dealt with similar situations. Well to start, I am dating the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I was stunned by her beauty the first time I saw her and once we got to know eachother I just couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. She is my best friend and truly is perfect in my eyes! We have been dating for over 2 years, and it has been the best 2 years of my life. During that time she has gained a decent amount of weight. Maybe 40-50 lbs, and as far as I can tell she has been pretty consistently gaining weight since high school (We both graduated college last year). I have always been very open about the fact that I like “thicker” women, however I tried to not overstate my preference with my girlfriend because I didn’t want her to ever feel like that if she started losing weight for some reason that I would be less attracted to her because that is simply not true. However, despite my constant love for her and her body it seemed that the thicker she got the less she liked her body and the less she believed me when I would tell her how Much I love her body. She would tell me how fat she is and how she needs to lose weight and I would tell her that I love her body the way it is and I will support her if she wants to lose weight but I would always try to let her know that I honestly preferred her heavier body. Sadly it seemed like the bigger she got the less she believed that. Recently it got to the point where I felt compelled to just put it all out there and tell her that I really do like chubby women and that it genuinely turns me on when women gain weight, like she has. As I mentioned I have always been very open about this with the women I have been with, and I really never had any negative reactions. Sadly, much to my surprise, her reaction was incredibly negative. She immediately pulled away and wouldn’t talk to me. Then accused me of only loving her because she is fat. All of this broke my heart because I felt like I loved her just the was and for some reason that wasn’t enough. Since opening up to her we have had very little sex. When we do it is sometimes completely amazing, I can grab her belly and love all her curves and it is incredibly intimate, some of the best sex we have ever had by far, yet she never acknowledges that. The other times it feels forced like she is doing it because she feels obligated to, and if I even think about holding her belly or some other part of her body that she’s insecure about she retracts completely. Outside of sex I can no longer cuddle her and hold her by her belly. She pushes my hands away now. When I try to show affection to her body it is almost always shut down. I feel like I can’t even touch her anymore at all, even if it’s not a part of her body that she considers “fat”. When I compliment her I get eye rolls and I get told to stop. Tonight I was cuddling her as we fell asleep, I was as happy as I could possibly be until she rolled over and said she wanted me to stop touching her and that she felt fat. I told her ok, I will give you space and told her that she was beautiful and kissed her on her back. She then told me that it doesn’t make her feel good when I Call her beautiful. This really hurt me and when I asked why she wouldn’t tell me. I reassured her that I loved her and loved her body and that I wish she would let me express that sometimes. She then told me she wished I didn’t love her body. This upset me pretty bad and drove me to seek help because I can’t handle it anymore it’s tearing me apart inside. I am in a really tough spot because I feel like this is starting to tear our relationship apart. I love this girl more than anything and I genuinely mean it when I say I would love her body at any weight. She just doesn’t seem to believe that or something. I want her to love her body and her self as much as I do because she deserves it, and I guess I’m having a really hard time understanding why she can’t embrace her body and embrace the love I have for her and her body. I feel like she is tearing down something I love and making me feel bad for loving her body and for being attracted to her added weight. I have never felt this way before or ever posted to a forum like this, but I don’t know where else to go. I would be very grateful if someone here could share their experiences with a similar situation, and maybe give me some advice on how to repair our relationship. It’s taking a huge toll on me and I feel like she’s trying to force me to stop loving her which I don’t ever want to do.